FRIHOST FORUMS SEARCH FAQ TOS BLOGS COMPETITIONS
You are invited to Log in or Register a free Frihost Account!


needz a ladies advice (im a man)





itzanilluzion
ladies...is it right for a woman..or anybody..to dump/walk out on you just because they have a child from previous relationship and cant handle it..yet that person who walked out on you knew u had said child before geting involved with you.

i have a child from a previous relationship and recently my gf walked out/broke up with me because she said she is embarassed about being with someone that has a child and cant handle the fact i have a child from previous relationship and the fact i was with someone before her. She knew that i had a child before we got involved. she says what drew her to me was the that her previous relationships where horrible (she was abused verbally and physically) and i was the 1st man to ever show her wut a relationship should be like..she realized she didnt love her ex's from the previous relationships but with me she fells taht shit did. i didnt abuse or do anything bad to her. i treated her with respect and accepted her flaws and everything that she came with whether it was good or bad. we started off as friends and we grew close and closer and we fell hard for each other. she had told me she dosnt want to be with someone that had a child but..we made it official and became bf/gf. she said she wanted to give US a chance. We have been close for 3yrs. we loved each other and only where romantic with nobody else. just us. just recently..she called it off..cause she says she cant handle being with someone that has a child and she is embarrassed to be with someone that has a child. ive been down and depressed cause i love her i rly do love her..and she is upset that i still love her and says i should find someone that is better than her that can accept it. but honesly peeps...i cant..im attached to this woman..lol..even though everything went bad. was it wrong for her to break it off..she knew she didnt want to be involved with someone with a kid..and she did it anyway. me being drepssed and down..ive let my pain get the best of me take it out on her verbally.and i fell bad about that. i just dont kno what to do anymore. i askd her why is she being like this with me..cause we were rly good klose friends and bf/gf.. she says..cause she fell for me hard and she truely loved me. sometiems i tell myself..she is lieing..she never loved me...or maybe she is trying to get me to stop loving her..but she still is attached to me and loves me..and is hiding it..so i can find someone. she once said she cheated on me..thing was..she didnt..she said it so i would get pissed and tell her not to talk to me n not want to be around her. i dont kno what to do. feel like im just ranting now. lol
The_unnamed_label
Hi...
what's your interrogation exactly?

Love isn't an exact science and it would be difficult for us to tell you what she feels or did feel or not really...

First of all I think your kid should always be a priority for you and never be blamed for anything. Cause I believe that even if some people are scared by the involvement that it would represent, at the end of the day if they love you they will accept your kids.

I'm not saying she doesn't or didn't here, don't get me wrong. But I think what happens between you guys is only down to you both.

Seems between you and her things haven't bit so simple from the start.
But it's hard to tell you what to do cause everybody is different anyway.

What I can advice you though, is to show her love, if that's how you feel... and forget about grudge and what she did or say in the past.
I dunno what tomorrow is made of, but I think if you think she could be the one and if you think she is worth the effort... then just give her the freedom to come back or not. show her love, respect and understanding... There is nothing more you can do..

Good luck though Smile
kasunone
Good luck though Smile Very Happy Very Happy
The_unnamed_label
kasunone wrote:
Good luck though Smile Very Happy Very Happy


I like how Kasunone says the same as me in 4 words! haha!!

How is it going for you then itzanilluzion??
watersoul
The_unnamed_label wrote:
First of all I think your kid should always be a priority for you and never be blamed for anything. Cause I believe that even if some people are scared by the involvement that it would represent, at the end of the day if they love you they will accept your kids.

Totally agree there.
I've got a son from a previous relationship and soon after chatting to any new girl I meet, I drop this fact subtly into the conversation to gauge the reaction. If it's going to be a problem then both them and I need to know before any feelings grow between us.
If an intimate evening turns into a BF/GF situation then I make it plain that at least 3 nights per week my son is with me and it will be a long way down the road of a relationship before I share that time with a new girl - in my mind they have to accept it or basically end it now. I won't introduce my lad to any new face unless I think it will have some kind of at least medium term future, and if they're not cool with that then again, I'm not interested.

As the quote above says it nicely, your priority should be being a dad when you can, and if any girl is ashamed or troubled by that then (in my opinion) they should do one and find someone with no kids.

I don't know where you're from or what the mindset of folk in your area is (painfully strong religious values perhaps?) but where I am, I've been told many times by women I meet that the caring side of me who loves being a dad is actually attractive to them.
If that wasn't the attitude of your (now) ex GF, then it was hardly likely to ever work was it?
Sack her off, think of her as someone selfish you've escaped from...and move on to someone who can fit into your life I say.
Bluedoll
Just my opinion ok, she wants out. Maybe she wanted only to help you, maybe she needed help herself and did not mean to get so involved. You probably both do love each other very much so my advice do not let anything drive a wedge between your friendship. However, if a person thinks they made a mistake or if a person wants to go, you just have to let that person go and if it is meant to be, they will come back to you. If she comes to you only as a friend, would you value that friendship? Yes, love hurts but it can hurt a lot more if she is not ready for the responsibilities, any kind of responsibility and the relationship continues to get more involved. My advice is let her go, if that is what she needs. If you really do love her you will.
chicababes
i think if its goes about your situation,she did not really loved you sory to say...so it is your decision
if whether you will love her inspite of making you dump!u must to think twice..i know it is not easy to stay away from the the one you really love..good luck to you...
airh3ad
Be serious on your relationship give a time and love go talk to your gf make other way you so your relationship will blow.
The_unnamed_label
thanks Watersoul... I think you gave the male version of what I said... I have no kids but I do agree 100% with you.

and I sometimes hear women say they like the "caring side" that goes with being a dad attractive indeed. in general... a guy that actually sounds like his kids would be his priority is I guess... cause there is nothing more important.


itzanilluzion, it's hard to reasonate when feelings are involved... but you've got the most precious person to love.. your baby... and I'm sure some wonderful girl is waiting for you somewhere. Wink
hope you're doing well?
AsadAnsari
Keep your child in Priority..
because I know how a father or a step mother can ruin a child life and what me and my sister have got through.
If she don't likes your child then keep her separate.. but please try not to ruin your child's life.
Just for the last time tell her that you love her .. she will be in your heart for always..
say that she is welcome with your open arms and open doors.

You just remind me something teasing.
deanhills
Bluedoll wrote:
Just my opinion ok, she wants out. Maybe she wanted only to help you, maybe she needed help herself and did not mean to get so involved. You probably both do love each other very much so my advice do not let anything drive a wedge between your friendship. However, if a person thinks they made a mistake or if a person wants to go, you just have to let that person go and if it is meant to be, they will come back to you. If she comes to you only as a friend, would you value that friendship? Yes, love hurts but it can hurt a lot more if she is not ready for the responsibilities, any kind of responsibility and the relationship continues to get more involved. My advice is let her go, if that is what she needs. If you really do love her you will.
Agree with this. She wanted an out and looked for any excuse she could find. And maybe it is better in the long run as obviously she is unable to provide the support that is needed for co-parenting a child.
Related topics
shr3dd's site biatch! lol
Ways to Make Money Besides Working 8-5?
Developing a Business Model
[opinion] Batman The dark Knight
LEED certification
Just Got New PC, Cost 3,000
Fitness/Stamina help please
Can any girl help me out?
URGENT!! ANSWERS UNTIL TOMMOROW
Blind man
the pac -man
Very funny jokes :) :D :))
Some funny Jokes
US Boder Patrol Kills a man
Reply to topic    Frihost Forum Index -> Lifestyle and News -> Relationships

FRIHOST HOME | FAQ | TOS | ABOUT US | CONTACT US | SITE MAP
© 2005-2011 Frihost, forums powered by phpBB.