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Girl who is giving me mixed signals





Asap170
Well there is this girl Maria. Haven't seen her in a year and she does have a boyfriend of 1.5 years. So the other day I get a text from her and then we ramble on and that and 3 hours later we finally call it quits with texting and go to bed. So three days pass and then we are on Skype having a video call. Asking each other questions and that and stared at each other cause I didn't know what to say. Then out of no where she pops the question "If I would breakup with my boyfriend would you go out with me?" I was basically freaking out. Trying to stay calm cause she could see my face and hear me. I finally replied "Yea." (not the greatest answer) She was like "Ok." I asked her why she wanted to know and she said just wondering. We continued the night and at the end of the night we went back to texting a little and she said "Yeah, and your really nice and have nice eyes and a nice smile"

Like if I rate her (i dont care about looks that much) she be a 9 and I would be a 4. Like something doesn't seem right. Am I just not letting it in that she may in fact have a thing for me...?
CuddleBunny
Personally, I think she's interested in you and that question that she asked you:
Quote:
"If I would breakup with my boyfriend would you go out with me?"

sort of says that she's considering breaking up with her boyfriend to get with you. However, having said all that she might just be thinking about it and wasn't seriously going to break up with her boyfriend.

Just wait and see what happens, she's in a relationship right now and it's not right to come between two people that are in a relationship. After all, you don't really know what she's thinking
The_unnamed_label
Hard to tell what she thinks, but obviously the idea crossed her mind... I would advice to listen what CuddleBunny said though..

About the rating... Beauty and charm are very subjective.. Im sure if ever she tells you you're cute or what not, its certainly cause she thinks so... Wink
Asap170
Why the heck do I end in a situation like this! I shall wait it out and see how it turns out. I may be back her to give an update of what's going on.
The_unnamed_label
Asap170 wrote:
Why the heck do I end in a situation like this! I shall wait it out and see how it turns out. I may be back her to give an update of what's going on.


Don't we all have to face complicated situations at some point?
Hope things turn into what you wish Smile
CuddleBunny
haha yea. These things just happen from time to time. It's perfectly normal not knowing what the other person's intentions are. Im sure you'll find out what's going on between the two of you soon enough. Remember to be patient. ^^

Good luck Asap Smile !!! Dont forget to update us
Asap170
Thansk CuddleBunny. I will update you. Not much as of right now. so yea.
deanhills
I think when she was saying "just wondering", that was the truth. She was just wondering. I'd not read anything into it more than that. Particularly if she is in a relationship with someone else.
Smile
Asap170
Yea but to do that and tell me that she likes my eyes and I am nice to talk to and stuff gave it all the more reason to think she likes me.
deanhills
Asap170 wrote:
Yea but to do that and tell me that she likes my eyes and I am nice to talk to and stuff gave it all the more reason to think she likes me.
If she had not been in a relationship with someone else, maybe it would have been meaningful. However if this intrigues you, why not ask her straight out? I'd put my money on her acting as though she cannot remember. But it would be interesting to see what her reaction will be. Maybe even a good test.
Asap170
I guess I forgot to add that she wanted to tell me something but was afraid to because we just started talking again.
deanhills
Asap170 wrote:
I guess I forgot to add that she wanted to tell me something but was afraid to because we just started talking again.
You seem to be quite in tune with one another. So maybe if it is meant to be, you'd get to be talking again? You'd probably know what to say. And when to say it. As I would imagine it what needs to be said is said at the wrong moment, it can jinx everything else. I'd still be worried about the fact she's involved with someone else, and has been for a good length of time. Always makes everything complicated.
menino
Mixed signals will lead to confusion, so my advise is to be straight and talk to her, and be open, and at least you will come to a conclusion, or a better step to move on from.
But don't let her lead you on, and don't lead her on as well.
shivaghimire
That was your first general talk so keep on talking. She might wanted to know what you think about her. Its not good enough to come between two of them. You may ask her whether she is planning to be departed from her boyfriend and the reason. Sometimes we feel sweet voice, beautiful face, cute and nice body and we starts to like her but she may not be capable to walk with us in our life because our minds sometime don't meet although our body meets. There should be meeting of minds too.
jwellsy
You're probably close to getting your butt kicked. It's fine to be friends with someone elses girlfriend, but to spend endless hours skyping, texting and flirting is crossing several lines of good judgement.
Asap170
Update time: So had to got to a friends birthday party and she was there. So we chatted I went swimming a few times the first time it was everyone and we talked a little and then we went swimming again and it was me (only guy) and 7 girls including Maria. So Maria was on a raft thing and she was like entertain me so I was pushing the raft around and stuff and she said I had little kid hair and apparently it was all screwed up and so she actually made it look nice. Luckily her boyfriend couldn't make it to the party.

Today I told her my minecraft server url lol and then asked her what she wanted to tell me that one night when we Skyped and she said she forgot and i reminded her and she said it was nothing. I still don't know cause it looked like she wanted to say something.
sudipbanerjee
God himself has no idea about Girls' mind. So who will help you regarding double signal case? Girls alltime give it. Just take anyone signal and do whatever situation wants.
deanhills
sudipbanerjee wrote:
God himself has no idea about Girls' mind. So who will help you regarding double signal case? Girls alltime give it. Just take anyone signal and do whatever situation wants.
Right, but in the meanwhile she's got another boyfriend of one and a half years. For me that is an overwhelming signal.
Asap170
I'm just trying to stay on her good side and be friends and see where life takes me. I think the thing I screw up in relationships is that I rush them, but I try not to but yea. And when the time comes to ask a girl out it takes me 2 months so I shall wait it out. Play some Minecraft with her.
loremar
How many years are you planning to wait?

You have to be careful not to fall in love with her yet. What if she decides she's not going to break up with her boyfriend? That would be very complicated. And it would be devastating if you have established feelings for her. What if she decides she's not going to talk to you anymore, she wants to focus her relationship with her boyfriend? Much painful.

If she does decides to be with you then you have to be ready with your martial arts skills. I say you start practicing right now.

What if she becomes you're girlfriend and after a year and a half she got bored with you and decides to talk to another guy? What would you feel? I say get rid of this girl now. There's so many beautiful lonely girls out there looking for a single guy.

But if you really really really like this girl and there's no one else that can get your attention then go get her. Grab her now. Don't wait for years for her to decide whether who's heart she should break.

I think you should think what you should do without being in the middle of emotions. You will find a more clearer answer. Sometimes emotions tell us what to do but it doesn't care if we get hurt or not. I say use your brain.

Heartbreakers. Rolling Eyes They just make our lives more complicated.
Asap170
I'm a single guy who is a programmer and not the greatest looking. Sorta hard to get a girl.
Asap170
I know I am double posting, but don't know if people would notice if I edited my previous post.

Anyways, well that girl and I haven't talked much lately she did call me today for tech support. Which she does have a boyfriend that is almost as good as me or better (I only met him once). I am still wondering why she called me and not her boyfriend but I guess I am so confused. There is this other girl Izabella, who is awesome and the way she is it looks like she likes me but my friend said she just wants to be friends and I don't want to believe it and I really don't know. Guess I am really confused again.
zbale
Hey "Asap170",

it's a tough call, and from my experience things can be confusing for many reasons:

1) a girl (or boy, depending on your taste) might not be sure herself what she thinks (or be downright confused herself) and the result would be, one day yes and one day no, etc. In other words, people are not half as clear as we tend to think when we ask ourselves "what does she/he want?"

2) in some social groups, with great variation across the globe, flirting is a natural mode of communication. So you may be with someone but you still gently flirt with people, without implying anything serious (however in that case, what she said on Skype seemed to be implying more but it looks like she might have retracted later on? so maybe go back to point 1)

3) Our mind has the superb ability to make things much more obscure than they are, so that when someone says "I'm interested in you" we ask ourselves "does she mean that or does she want to be friends?", and when later on we've let the opportunity pass and she says "well, you know I only want to be friends", we say "does she really mean that or is there some option for action?" (or whichever way you phrase it Smile).

This is, of course, not very helpful, but here is one thing that could be helpful to you:

It seems that girls do not relate to "good looks" the same way that guys do. Most guys I know couldn't go out with a girl they don't find attractive, but the reverse isn't true (confirmed by discussions with girls). I don't know the reasons and they're probably interesting (no doubt at the crossroads of biology and anthropology) but much more urgent than the reasons is the acknowledgment that your own perception of how you look may be very different from (a) what girls perceive and especially (b) what influences girl when it comes to choose a mate (to speak in evolutionary terms).

In other words: seize the day, man! You don't need to behave like a rock-star but don't be ashamed of who you are either. Just be the cool, great guy I'm sure you are.

Good luck, and keep us posted!
deanhills
Asap170 wrote:
There is this other girl Izabella, who is awesome and the way she is it looks like she likes me but my friend said she just wants to be friends and I don't want to believe it and I really don't know. Guess I am really confused again.
I find friendship is the best way to start any relationship. Why not play it cool and be friends and who knows what will come out of it eventually.
shomesnehanjan
if she gives you mixed signals she might not be intrested ! so my friend be advised she might BITE! LoL!! Shocked Very Happy
Asap170
shomesnehanjan wrote:
if she gives you mixed signals she might not be intrested ! so my friend be advised she might BITE! LoL!! Shocked Very Happy


Well she can kick and punch. Close enough to bite lol

Update on the situation. I really have no freaking clue.
The_unnamed_label
Hey!!
you still sound very confused indeed... confusion and hopes mixed..
I agree with deanhills, I think you should relax, be friendly and see what tomorrow brings you

Seems to be a large misunderstanding between women and men when it comes to love eh...
Im a woman and therefore I can only talk as such.. but really I believe that we women usually only say what we want, no secret messages, no interpretation... don't look further in what she says or doesn't say.

and, about the fact she is in a relationship... I guess she is the only one to decide if she wants that one relationship or not... but you should play it cool and give her time.. she will need to sort out this part of her life at some point and that wont be easy?
So if you do want her, she will feel it Im sure, but give her time...

whoever said she might be confused too earlier is right!
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