FRIHOST FORUMS SEARCH FAQ TOS BLOGS COMPETITIONS
You are invited to Log in or Register a free Frihost Account!


What is it with people





standready
Most of time I don't understand why people act the way they do.
examples:
Had a person promise to order several of my product if I answered a few (really good) questions. I answered each question. Did they order, NO! I would have answered the questions without the false promise anyway.

Why do my so-called 'friends' expect me to be somewhere exactly when they 'tell' me yet they never show up when they say they will be somewhere at a certain time?
I guess like the song says "should be more careful choosing my friends".
deanhills
standready wrote:
Most of time I don't understand why people act the way they do.
examples:
Had a person promise to order several of my product if I answered a few (really good) questions. I answered each question. Did they order, NO! I would have answered the questions without the false promise anyway.

Why do my so-called 'friends' expect me to be somewhere exactly when they 'tell' me yet they never show up when they say they will be somewhere at a certain time?
I guess like the song says "should be more careful choosing my friends".
You and I must be of the same mind frame. These are things that irritate me too. Anyway, what I've found in general is that the more questions people ask, the more likely they won't buy the product. If people go past say three questions it's almost as though they are trying to question themselves out of the deal. And right "friends" not arriving at the right place and time, that also irritates me very much. I've improved a lot in that I try and not think about it too much while it happens, like if it is in a shopping mall, after about 10 minutes or so start doing window shopping and think about other things. Still, it is thoughtless. How about phoning them though or aren't you into cell phones that much?
Very Happy
ocalhoun
standready wrote:
"should be more careful choosing my friends".


Yep.

In my experience, humans don't make very good friends.
Dogs make good friends, though horses are my favorite. ^.^
deanhills
ocalhoun wrote:
In my experience, humans don't make very good friends.
Dogs make good friends, though horses are my favorite. ^.^
That is so true. Well said. Nothing like unconditional love from a dog. From a horse it must be awesome. By the way are there any updates on Jay, she must have filled out quite a bit by now? Very Happy
ocalhoun
deanhills wrote:
ocalhoun wrote:
In my experience, humans don't make very good friends.
Dogs make good friends, though horses are my favorite. ^.^
That is so true. Well said. Nothing like unconditional love from a dog. From a horse it must be awesome. By the way are there any updates on Jay, she must have filled out quite a bit by now? Very Happy


Why, yes, actually... but that would be a conversation for a different thread ^.^

Also... you remembered my pet's name... that I mentioned once... over a year ago...
*stalker alert*
Insanity
Some people are just bad at keeping track of time, or they dont' value your time as much as you do. Maybe you should tell them that you think they should try to be on time more often and see what happens. If they still show up late, then maybe you need to find some new friends.
deanhills
Insanity wrote:
Some people are just bad at keeping track of time, or they dont' value your time as much as you do. Maybe you should tell them that you think they should try to be on time more often and see what happens. If they still show up late, then maybe you need to find some new friends.
I don't know about standready, but I hate telling people what to do. The closest I get is joking about it. My experience is that when you make a big deal out of it, then they will in all probability show up even later than usual. Sort of human psychology. So better get to know them the way they are and work with the full part of the glass. The mobile phone is a great invention for that. My most recent experience has been a computer technician friend who is really bad for losing track of time. So recently when we made an appointment I just knew he would not pitch, and he then phoned late at night to apologize and reschedule. I then suggested he phones me when he is in my area and we can work our way around his availability that way. What worked well was that I had no expectation that he was going to make the appointment, that made me feel relaxed and everything else just seemed to fall into place as a result. But that was a learned behaviour.
standready
deanhills wrote:
How about phoning them though or aren't you into cell phones that much?
Very Happy

When I say I will be somewhere at a certain time, I am there or I call. I expect the same of others. If someone just basically 'orders' me instead of asking then Boo hoo!
Another example:
I was told "anytime after 9am would be good". I get there 15 minutes after 9 and I am told "I'm late!"

These people remind me of the north end of a south bound mule!!
deanhills
standready wrote:
I was told "anytime after 9am would be good". I get there 15 minutes after 9 and I am told "I'm late!"
I'd not go for this anytime after 9am. I'd ask, when specifically, but then with someone like this I'm sure they will still find something to moan about, even if you were on time, so perhaps they're to be avoided like the plague. Twisted Evil
Bluedoll
Insanity wrote:
Some people are just bad at keeping track of time, or they dont' value your time as much as you do.
I think this is a very accurate assessment.

Once read that the most successful people are always late but it did not say, why? Why? I do not think it should be a power struggle with one person telling or threatening but can see both sides to this meeting time problem. If it meant they would receive a million dollar contract if they showed up on time, think they would? On the other hand, if on the way to a meeting you meant someone that would change your life for the positive but would make you tardy, should that encounter be passed up because you did not want to be late? Sometimes, you might want to apologize for being late but not be willling to give the reason for lateness.
deanhills
Bluedoll wrote:
Once read that the most successful people are always late but it did not say, why? Why?
I'm almost certain they did not employ this tactic while they were on the up and up though. As they could then have easily missed the first part of the meeting. A meeting will only wait for people who are worth waiting for. In my experience anyway.

I'd say the successful people I know always arrive on time, or sometimes even ahead of time as that usually give them an opportunity to create the right atmosphere or to prepare by checking on some of the agenda items with those attending the meeting.

For personal appointments that would also depend on how important this person is relative to your life.
standready
ocalhoun wrote:
Yep.

In my experience, humans don't make very good friends.
Dogs make good friends, though horses are my favorite. ^.^

I agree with you, ocalhoun. They also don't talk back (as much, anyway).
Asap170
The reason why people are screwed up and that is because of society. You see kids they get along with everyone and everything is all fine and dandy. Nothing to worry about. Except when they don't like a certain person, but that is all normal. When people become adults they lived with society for years and see how they act so they tend to act the same way. So a man/woman may do something and people think it's right and then it just like a domino effect. Society is to blame.
deanhills
Asap170 wrote:
The reason why people are screwed up and that is because of society. You see kids they get along with everyone and everything is all fine and dandy. Nothing to worry about. Except when they don't like a certain person, but that is all normal. When people become adults they lived with society for years and see how they act so they tend to act the same way. So a man/woman may do something and people think it's right and then it just like a domino effect. Society is to blame.
I don't agree that people are screwed up. I think it is as simple as not everyone being educated about principles of etiquette. If we are educated to respect the time of others, then we'd probably be more sensitive and show up when we're supposed to. But maybe not all of us got the same education. That does not make us screwed up however, more like lacking in etiquette.
standready
deanhills wrote:
I don't agree that people are screwed up. I think it is as simple as not everyone being educated about principles of etiquette. If we are educated to respect the time of others, then we'd probably be more sensitive and show up when we're supposed to. But maybe not all of us got the same education. That does not make us screwed up however, more like lacking in etiquette.

Very well said, dean. I see it in my various neighbor's children as they are a reflection of how the parents act.
missdixy
standready wrote:
Why do my so-called 'friends' expect me to be somewhere exactly when they 'tell' me yet they never show up when they say they will be somewhere at a certain time?
I guess like the song says "should be more careful choosing my friends".


Agghh. A bunch of my cousins are like this!! IT'S SO ANNOYING. My cousin W is ALWAYS late. And I'm very punctual. I've actually gone places somewhere at a certain time and had her show up like 3-4 hrs later, or totally forget. I guess punctual people should just try to have punctual friends???
standready
Another fine example:
One neighbor is throwing a party right now. A couple of his 'guest' just parked on another neighbor's lawn that had just been replanted plus almost 3 inches of rain yesterday making lawns really soft. Big deep ruts in the new grass!
A couple of his guest even parked on my lawn!
deanhills
standready wrote:
Another fine example:
One neighbor is throwing a party right now. A couple of his 'guest' just parked on another neighbor's lawn that had just been replanted plus almost 3 inches of rain yesterday making lawns really soft. Big deep ruts in the new grass!
A couple of his guest even parked on my lawn!
Did you tell them to remove their cars from your lawn? I guess this is why some people are forced to build fences around their home. Come to the UAE and most people have tall walls around their properties. I think they have the right idea!
Twisted Evil
watersoul
standready wrote:
Another fine example:
One neighbor is throwing a party right now. A couple of his 'guest' just parked on another neighbor's lawn that had just been replanted plus almost 3 inches of rain yesterday making lawns really soft. Big deep ruts in the new grass!
A couple of his guest even parked on my lawn!

Thats not cool at all.
We have lots of parties here on weekends and although we have had a few complaints about noise/music/fire smoke over the years, if any guests trashed another neighbours lawn I'd be one of the first to kick them out and tell them they're not welcome.
standready
deanhills wrote:
Did you tell them to remove their cars from your lawn? I guess this is why some people are forced to build fences around their home. Come to the UAE and most people have tall walls around their properties. I think they have the right idea!
Twisted Evil

Yes, we did tell them to move their cars and they did but damage was already done! Neighbor throwing the party also apologized but did not offer to fix the damaged. He did watch me this morning while I worked on the damage area using a roller and my feet to try to smooth out the mess. Took me an hour!
Forget the putting up a wall or fence, I am installing brightly painted spike strips to chew up their tires!
deanhills
standready wrote:
Forget the putting up a wall or fence, I am installing brightly painted spike strips to chew up their tires!
Laughing Laughing Great idea! Sure to look decorative at the same time. Very Happy
Ryox
I have had friends like that, They are not very good friends at all because they are not capable of be honest. When people change their minds at the last minute. It's always too late and ends in a very bad disaster at the end. Especially for a relationship!
deanhills
Ryox wrote:
I have had friends like that, They are not very good friends at all because they are not capable of be honest. When people change their minds at the last minute. It's always too late and ends in a very bad disaster at the end. Especially for a relationship!
I have some friends who are like that. If you really like them you're prepared to compromise. For me it is always the total package that counts. The being late may just be an offsetting negative of a very positive relaxed person.
standready
deanhills wrote:
The being late may just be an offsetting negative of a very positive relaxed person.

Once in a while fine but almost every time without the courtesy of a call - NOT!
watersoul
standready wrote:
deanhills wrote:
The being late may just be an offsetting negative of a very positive relaxed person.

Once in a while fine but almost every time without the courtesy of a call - NOT!


If a mate keeps on with any behaviour which I see as disrespectful, thoughtless, or something I really don't like (after I've expressed my unhappiness to them) I pretty much sack them off with a message that they aren't people I want involved too much in my life.

It's worked so far...although I do have a very clear separation in my definition of friends, acquaintances, and general public, which certainly helps in my expectations of other people.
loyal
standready wrote:

Why do my so-called 'friends' expect me to be somewhere exactly when they 'tell' me yet they never show up when they say they will be somewhere at a certain time?
I guess like the song says "should be more careful choosing my friends".


People have double standards. They expect you to be really good with all your behaviour...you should not ever slip up or make mistakes. But when it comes to their behaviour, they can be mean because they're having a bad day, be late out of laziness, etc. The best thing to do is not let it bother you. Friends are flawed. Better to have flawed friends than no friends.
standready
My true friends know how to be respectful of others. Yes, we all have bad days but we apologize for mistake we make.
loyal wrote:
Better to have flawed friends than no friends.

I don't know about that!
Related topics
Reply to topic    Frihost Forum Index -> General -> General Chat

FRIHOST HOME | FAQ | TOS | ABOUT US | CONTACT US | SITE MAP
© 2005-2011 Frihost, forums powered by phpBB.