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my self proclaimed, possibly odd perception on relationships


I feel I totally understand your situation. The person I loved beyond belief left me; a lot of the reason because she said I didn't express or show her enough love in day to day situations. She said she felt like other unimportant things came first before her...

At the time, I was like wtf... I can't spend all my time with you blahblahblah. But since she left me for someone else, I have never stopped regretting what an idiot I was.

There's a really interesting lyric from an artist called Inoue Joe in his song "Closer". The line reads:

"You know the closer you are to something; the tougher it is to see it, and I'll never take it for granted".

This line literally reads almost my entire philosophy on life. The closer people are to each other, and the better things get for people; the more that many people will take it for granted. Ever since my crushing situation, I have never forgiven myself, and I hope to God that I have truthfully learnt everything from it that I think I have. The reason I say this is cos learning is a lot easier to say, than to prove.

I don't know how your bf / gf feels about you. But it sounds like you're incredibly in love with him / her, so much that you're putting his / her feelings before your own which is why you won't say anything. It's highly respectful, and I hope he / she realises how much he / she has in you.

For me and from my experiance, I see now that my girlfriend tried to make me see like this, and understand her and where she was coming from. But I was ignorant... and I'll hate myself everyday for needing to be crushed to be able to understand.

My advice would be to talk openly with your second half, and set the slate clean with precisely what you want, how you feel and how you see things from his / her point of view. It may be that he / or she isn't as stupid as I was, and will be able to act in the way they probably deep inside do actually feel. But again, try and remember that song lyric I pasted... I feel it's very important to this situation =x.

It could also be that perhaps he just doesn't love you... or he needs more time to understand himself with you.

The smartest people in this world aren't the mathmaticians or the scientists or whatever. It's the people who know the importance of who or what they have, before it's gone. I wish you the very best, and I hope you sort it all out : )
@ day_and_night. Maybe you need to ask yourself what it is that makes you feel uncomfortable. Maybe it is not because you are not appreciated enough, but it could be that your partner and friends aren't quite what you want for yourself. You are very critical of them, and they of course know that intuitively. Particularly when you are chasing them so much. You probably need to get honest with yourself and see whether this is really the crowd you want to hang out with. They would appreciate you much more for being very honest about not wanting to be with them than pretending when you don't really want to be with them and keep on giving to them.
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