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should i marry her?





gphoenix
guys , i am just 18..i have known a girl for 8 years..since my childhood..yes i've had a crush which turned out to be respect plus love...recently she told me that shes in love with me..should i marry her when i grow up..? share your thought
dan751
You're 18. So, you've known her for 10 years.
Have you dated her before? If not, I don't think you should jump right into marriage. I think, in that case, that you should date her for a while first.
The dating ritual provides, sort of like a safe grounds to see whether the pair is really compatible with one another. Just because to people are dating or married, doesn't exactly mean they're soul mates. Wink
Take, for example, my mother and my step dad; they're married, but they're not truly happy together. They basically live separate lives. They're not compatible.
My girlfriend and I on the other hand. Not a day goes by that we don't think about each other. And we love every minute that we spend together. A perfect match, her and I both believe. We have been dating for 5 years and were really good friends before we started dating. (We're getting married in July, I might add Wink)
Which leads me to my next question: Have you guys been friends for a while or just known about each other? Your statement suggests you've been friends for a while.

All in all, these are things that need to be taken into strong consideration.
gphoenix
we are like friends.. i mean we walk home together , we talk a lot and all..and yeah we have dated..but shes just as old as me..we both have the same birthdate..january 3 1993...
watersoul
I'm in agreement with Dan on this, enjoy some time dating and building a romantic relationship before thinking about getting married.

I don't want to sound like a patronising 30 something guy here but you will both change in many ways over the next few years, and what may seem 'right' now could be very different when you both decide where you're going in life - career plans, lifestyle choices and all the rest.

It made me smile (and feel old, lol) when I saw your birthdate, because Jan 1993 was when I met my now ex-wife. We married very young and after 5 or 6 years realised we developed into different people with different interests which didn't really mix well together.
We're actually best of friends these days but I think if we had dated/lived together for a bit longer before getting married we would have realised that friendship was the way forward for us and we could have saved ourselves a lot of expense and heartache.

Marriage can be a beautiful thing for many people but only if the two people are compatible. Spend some time having fun together and exploring your differences - and remember that the person you are at 18 can be very different to the person you are at say 25.

Whatever you do though, I honestly wish you good luck with it, relationship stuff is always a gamble and can bring amazing happiness or sadness at times. Just remember it's always much easier to walk away if you haven't 'tied the knot' Wink
RefTest
I agree with the others, you should definitely first try to live together for quite a while before considering marriage.
gphoenix
thats what i'm gonna do..and watersoul we both know what our plans are for life..and both of us even have our own ambitions..we both decided to wait until 26 and till then i will see how this goes..
watersoul
gphoenix wrote:
thats what i'm gonna do..and watersoul we both know what our plans are for life..and both of us even have our own ambitions..we both decided to wait until 26 and till then i will see how this goes..


Thats brilliant fella, I wish you the best Smile
rheanna
Cheaper being single and you learn about that, after 10 yrs of marriage, and she or he tries to take all your money. Forget about her. I'm doing you a favor.
watersoul
rheanna wrote:
Cheaper being single and you learn about that, after 10 yrs of marriage, and she or he tries to take all your money. Forget about her. I'm doing you a favor.

Lol, succinct and perhaps accurate sometimes, depending on your situation! Wink
dan751
rheanna wrote:
Cheaper being single and you learn about that, after 10 yrs of marriage, and she or he tries to take all your money. Forget about her. I'm doing you a favor.

Hmm... Sounds like you've been screwed over before in the past. My heart goes out to you. Perhaps you find someone who IS right for you later on, perhaps not. Either way, I wish all the best to you.

@gphoenix:
I definitely agree, take your time with things. If it's meant to be it'll be. Smile
macky
There are lots of things may happen in the next few years to your life. Do not think unto the straight way you want to marry her. Your too young to think about it and besides if your childhood mate really loves you and your both destined to be each other, no need to rush.

Sometimes we tend to think that if need to do something for us not to lose our love ones but the fact that we don't think what will happen next. This is a common human instinct. But really if you don't want to end up your relationship in a divorce, try to maximise things you can do while your young and single. Coz there will be limits and grounds when you get married and you need experience how to handle certain problems so you can cope with it when you get married. Very Happy
Greatking
I will say a lot of things to you buit it will probably not mean much, all I can say is that if you truely love each other and the feeling is mutual until you of age to marry, why not.
Tesa323
Try to live with her for a while and see if you have anything in common. If you guys constantly fight I would suggest not marying her but if you work together good and you truly love her go for it.
gphoenix
actually all of the things we have are common..even our birthdate..she and i were born on the same day,same year..most of the time she ends up saying what i was gonna say and we even talk the same way.
deanhills
gphoenix wrote:
should i marry her when i grow up..? share your thought
When do you think you would be grown up? Maybe it is difficult to figure out a life long commitment if you have not grown up yet. Smile
gphoenix
hehe..actually i dont consider anyone at my age as grown up..by grown up i mean that i can stand in my own legs and lead a family..i need to finish my education and i seriously need to get into google as an ethical hacker..so currently im learnin..when i'm 26 or atleast 24 i may consider myself as grown up..Wink
micomnet
gphoenix wrote:
guys , i am just 18..i have known a girl for 8 years..since my childhood..yes i've had a crush which turned out to be respect plus love...recently she told me that shes in love with me..should i marry her when i grow up..? share your thought


Yeah
airh3ad
If you are prepare to have a family you can marry here anytime but be sure you have a lot of money in the bank in short savings, its not good if we ask money from our parents remember being prepared for a long term relationship is very difficult decision you going to make.
menino
Yes, I think that you should marry her, but dont think about that all the time.
There's still a lot of time, so you can get to know her better, and concentrate on your studies, get a job, stable lifestyle, and then pop the question, based on your feelings for her then.
gphoenix
both of you guys just said what i decided..but the hard thing will be telling our parents..we both already know that we'll get really gr8 jobs..but in india its hard to introduce ones lover to his / her parents..
Marcuzzo
when I first read this, it sounds like dawsons creek Very Happy

@gphoenix: mary her when you both feel you are ready to take this big step.
I'm not sure how it works in India, but over here 1 out of every 7 marriages fails in the first year ( I can be a little off on that one )
and at the age of 10, you don't really know what love is, so you might want to think this through.
even at the age of 18 I didn't know what love was
take care and choose wisely
Sw4k1ll4r
Some things can only be answered by flipping a coin Laughing .
But not this one, in this case follow your gut.
Or dont. Marriage is a big step, but if you know she wants to marry you too maybe you should go for it.
Ryox
rheanna wrote:
Cheaper being single and you learn about that, after 10 yrs of marriage, and she or he tries to take all your money. Forget about her. I'm doing you a favor.


haha this is a true statement! I think about my future and I wish I could just let my past go! >_>;
nigam
at your age, you're still young to decide on marriage thingy. for us, marriage is for lifetime...even though you know her since 8 (and that you both were kids), attitude change when you grow and when you are together...so, you better know her these years before you decide....
iyepes
gphoenix wrote:
guys , i am just 18..i have known a girl for 8 years..since my childhood..yes i've had a crush which turned out to be respect plus love...recently she told me that shes in love with me..should i marry her when i grow up..? share your thought


Enjoy your love now, and let time to tell you if your relationship will evolve to an adult one tending to marriage. It's nice you think about commitment even being young, but take the time you both need to decide this, is a lifetime decission.

Good wishes to you both.
bukaida
There is a difference between a friend and a girlfriend. Marriage is a very important decision which must not be made under emotion or hurry. Also a marriage makes not only two persons together but also their families. Is this relationship accepted by both the families? Love comes without any calculations but marriage certainly have several factors to be considered.
Insanity
I agree withe veryone else. In America, 18 is very young to be considering marriage. You should wait until you're a bit older and you know what you want in life. I don't think 18 is mature enough for marriage. Obviously, it's up to you and how mature you think you are, but a lifetime decision like this deserves a little more time.

Good luck.
deanhills
Insanity wrote:
I agree withe veryone else. In America, 18 is very young to be considering marriage. You should wait until you're a bit older and you know what you want in life. I don't think 18 is mature enough for marriage. Obviously, it's up to you and how mature you think you are, but a lifetime decision like this deserves a little more time.

Good luck.
Right! Not many people have the financial means either to make a go of it at that age, and since finances seem to play a large role in stress on a marriage, probably also something to consider.
sudipbanerjee
take time, spend quality time with her before taking any decision. You have lot of time in life
loremar
I say you marry her after you finish education. You're both childhood friends and you have the same birthday. That's worthy of marrying. These are factors to believe that you're destined for each other. It's good to be married and think that you're destined for each other.

Compatibility, dating, chemistry, I just think that people who talk a lot about these things and follow these sort of stuffs end up in bad marriage more than people who get married without any logical reason. That's based on my observation that a lot of fixed marriages end up very successful. In fact, fixed marriages have very low divorce rates compared to the normal. Laughing
deanhills
loremar wrote:
In fact, fixed marriages have very low divorce rates compared to the normal. Laughing
I've heard some of the same. This whole romatic fantasy thing actually sets up marriages for a fall.
Smile
ms_j
I'm too tired to read all replies, so maybe somebody already said this: you are way to young! Just trust me. I got married when I was 21 and that was too early. And 18.....oh God!

"You get married at twenty, you're going to be shocked who you're living with at thirty" great quote from "House"
mshafiq
You are really young but if you both are lucky and your habits do match to (really) a good extent then there is no harm to go for this marriage. In fact if life partner is good, you enjoy life much better than being alone. However there are few things to be considered seriously;
- Do you both agree and know what your objectives are and how your educations and job will be affected?
- What is your plan having babies?
- What if one of you will feel other person is not for me anymore.. I mean did you consider if in case (God forbid) separation will occur … will you both blame getting married earlier was the issue …
- What is opinion of your elders, sometimes it is most important than all, as because of their valuable experience they foresee and advise properly. If they say ‘go for it’ then GO FOR IT otherwise wait for their +ve sign.
- What are your subjects and intended career objectives? If you both are going to same school/field (say both are going to be engineers) then it is less dangerous to get married as compared to being in different field and getting married at the age of 18.
Good Luck! With your choice.
zbale
iyepes wrote:
gphoenix wrote:
guys , i am just 18..i have known a girl for 8 years..since my childhood..yes i've had a crush which turned out to be respect plus love...recently she told me that shes in love with me..should i marry her when i grow up..? share your thought


Enjoy your love now, and let time to tell you if your relationship will evolve to an adult one tending to marriage. It's nice you think about commitment even being young, but take the time you both need to decide this, is a lifetime decission.

Good wishes to you both.


I couldn't say it better than "iyepes".

Enjoy it now, without pressure, and we all hope your relationship will only grow stronger with time until you are both sure you want to get married.

(Also: when in doubt, don't get married Smile it doesn't mean you won't marry the person later, it just means you're not ready yet, which is totally OK.)

Best of luck!
friho
it's difficult to say because as time goes many things would be happen:the environment 、the feelings and you maybe come across a girl you love more.
gphoenix
i never said about getting married at 18 guys..i said when i am old enough..so i guess its safe right?
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