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Do I break up with him or do I stay?






Should I stay with him or should I break up with him?
Break up with him
100%
 100%  [ 3 ]
Stay with him
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 3

a-wallflower
Hi. I'm very confused about something. I intended to break up with my boyfriend but decided to have a cool off instead. I did it in the first place because I didn't feel happy in the relationship anymore; that he and I, individually, are not going anywhere, growing and progressing; that part of me believes I no longer love him; that I really don't want to be in a relationship now, I want time for myself.

On the other hand, part of me does still love him, very much. He's nice, he's understanding, and he, like I, loves to go out. Maybe he's too nice and too understanding, he hardly stops me from anything, maybe he spoils me. I also noticed that he doesn't hang out much with other people anymore, that I'm his new best friend, and while I'm glad to be his best friend, I also want him to have his own set.

We set a date to talk things over and decide what will become of our relationship, and it's going to be in less than two weeks. So far, what I'm thinking is that I know I will never meet anyone like him, but I don't want to be tied down to a relationship now. Also, I don't know if I'll go back to him ever,because what if I meet someone better?

I feel very awful about this all. I feel stupid, and I feel like a bitch. I am. But I also thought staying with him would be a lie if I don't want to be there in the first place, or at least not for the meantime. I don't really know. A lot of his friends and family are in my FB, and my friends and family are also his friends in FB. If I stay, I know that I will disappoint my family, because while they're okay with him, they aren't that fond of him. If I leave, I'm going to disappoint his family and friends, and some of my friends too. One way or the other, I'm still a bitch.

Can anyone tell me what's wrong with me? What should I do?

I'm sorry, this is a really stupid problem. Sad Please enlighten me.
The_unnamed_label
Heya...
My advice is, if you can, try and find what the dominant feeling is for you... if you see a future with him or not.. etc.
I suppose the key is to be honest to him, but to you too, make choices, and work for them to actually be succesful.
Good luck
The_unnamed_label
obviously... I wont reply your poll, as I think it should be a personal decision Wink x
truespeed
If staying with him makes you unhappy,it will eventually make him unhappy too,you can't live your life for others.walk away.
bukaida
Love is not something like puchasing goods from an auction market(better good at lesser price). Every relationship goes with some ups and downs and that has to be faced together. Then only the relationship will be time tested. As I understood from your statement that there is no third person between you and your bf. So give the relationship a chance and see. If the positive aspects are more, then go with the relationship. But if you are searching for some Mr.Perfect, then I must say, none is perfect. Destruction is always lot easier than construction. Sometimes what lost is lost forever.

Anyway at the end of the day it's your decision. Actualy in india, we are not very used to divorce, break-up sort of thing. Forgive me if I preached you too much.

P.S Most probably you already have taken the decision by this one week.
Mechallama
Well, can you see yourself having a future with him?
If not, then I guess you know what to do.
Da Rossa
Sorry but you'vê already made your decision. Reread your post. You're not with him anymore.

But keep registered that, regardless of the present circumstances, you pointed the good things about him. I hope you don't lose a good man after all.
zbale
a-wallflower wrote:
Hi. I'm very confused about something. I intended to break up with my boyfriend but decided to have a cool off instead. I did it in the first place because I didn't feel happy in the relationship anymore; that he and I, individually, are not going anywhere, growing and progressing; that part of me believes I no longer love him; that I really don't want to be in a relationship now, I want time for myself.

On the other hand, part of me does still love him, very much. He's nice, he's understanding, and he, like I, loves to go out. Maybe he's too nice and too understanding, he hardly stops me from anything, maybe he spoils me. I also noticed that he doesn't hang out much with other people anymore, that I'm his new best friend, and while I'm glad to be his best friend, I also want him to have his own set.

We set a date to talk things over and decide what will become of our relationship, and it's going to be in less than two weeks. So far, what I'm thinking is that I know I will never meet anyone like him, but I don't want to be tied down to a relationship now. Also, I don't know if I'll go back to him ever,because what if I meet someone better?

I feel very awful about this all. I feel stupid, and I feel like a bitch. I am. But I also thought staying with him would be a lie if I don't want to be there in the first place, or at least not for the meantime. I don't really know. A lot of his friends and family are in my FB, and my friends and family are also his friends in FB. If I stay, I know that I will disappoint my family, because while they're okay with him, they aren't that fond of him. If I leave, I'm going to disappoint his family and friends, and some of my friends too. One way or the other, I'm still a bitch.

Can anyone tell me what's wrong with me? What should I do?

I'm sorry, this is a really stupid problem. :( Please enlighten me.


Hey a-wallflower,

Sorry to hear you're going through difficult times. Here are a few thoughts that came to my mind when reading your post:

1) You're not a bitch and nothing's wrong with you.

2) Though family is important (and though one does "marry the family"), what matters at the end of the day is that you and Prince Charming are happy. One decision or another may hurt your family's or his family's feelings, but your not going to be unhappy all your life (or a significant portion of it) just to keep your family or his family happy (I once married a girl though there were a few things that I wasn't entirely happy with, but her family was so great that I expected that she would turn out to be as great as them. We are now happily divorced and on very good terms).

3) There are many people in the world with whom we could almost be entirely happy. This guy may be one of them. If you're not sure he's the one guy for you, let him go.

4) About meeting "someone better", it's something to be careful about (all your life you'll be meeting wonderful people), and it might mean either that you haven't found the right guy yet (when you do, you'll know there are other great guys but you'll say "this is the one I want to stick with") or that you don't feel ready for a long-term relationship. Either way, it doesn't mean you're a bitch, and your feeling of discontent stems, in my opinion, from the fact that you feel in a "not too good not too bad situation", which is, in love, a shitty situation (excuse my French).

My suggestion would be: speak freely with him about all of this you're mentioning. If you feel you cannot, then just take a break: you cannot be in a relationship with someone that you cannot discuss the essence of your relationship with.

Good luck!
davidv
a-wallflower wrote:
I didn't feel happy in the relationship anymore; that he and I, individually, are not going anywhere, growing and progressing; that part of me believes I no longer love him; that I really don't want to be in a relationship now, I want time for myself.


break up with him! 'nuff said.
shivaghimire
Depends on you. Think different directions and follow the direction and conclusion which your mind tells not your heart.
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