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Living together before getting married?





zbale
Not sure where most of the people on this forum are from, but I was wondering what you all think about:

1) Living together (in the same house/apartment) and not being married?
2) Having kids as a couple and not being married?

Plus, do you think the environment you grew up in influences your answer to these questions?
Peterssidan
My parents have never married, and I don't think they will. Most people marry and many do so after they got kids, that's the picture I get when looking at my relatives. To me this is perfectly normal.
deanhills
It's entirely up to you and your partner. If you feel that is what is right for you, go for it. But if you are concerned about it, and hesitating, then I would give myself some time to think about it first. There is good chance that your partner may be hesitating as well. I don't think living together should be such a big deal. If it happens naturally and spontaneously, then it must be right. But if it becomes a huge deal, then maybe marriage would be better or at least postponing it for a while until it becomes an easier decision to make.
jmlworld
Personally, I believe a couple should get married if they are planning to sustain a long relationship and want to have kids in the future.
lovelyviki
i think if you want to understand your bf completely, you need to live with him.
i support living together before marriage, we have a admit it is the best way to have mutual understanding.
GoldenEagle
I'm 22 and my girlfriend is 23 (she just turned 23) and we've been together for going on 5 years. I'm a professional engineer and she's a freelance artist. We live together and I think it's a great idea. We share all of the same things so it costs us a lot less money (we share bills) and we're really learning how to interact with each other in all hours of the day and in every situation. If/when we get married, we'll have already dealt with all of the important aspects already.
Bluedoll
I think one is fine and acceptable if both in the relationship want it. Two however is a lot different and has advantage for the sake of the children but this social arrangement means very little if the bonds are broken as children usually need both parents regardless of the arrangement they wish to maintain.
bukaida
Live-in relationship is good to understand each other and test compatibility. But sometimes it becomes enjoyment without responsibility. Also having children without getting married may create legal dispute in properties(for the children) in some countries.
macky
zbale wrote:
Not sure where most of the people on this forum are from, but I was wondering what you all think about:

1) Living together (in the same house/apartment) and not being married?
2) Having kids as a couple and not being married?

Plus, do you think the environment you grew up in influences your answer to these questions?


Well in my case, in the environment i lived, this situation is very common that it almost 75% of couples has this kind of situation. Some tried to get kids first before get married coz they want to know first to proved that they're partner can produce babies while while other cannot since maybe they are already married and issue of divorce takes too long.

Living together or live-in partner usually i've seen around. Some of the main reason as i heard was they want to know first if they're partner knows how to cook, wash clothes etc... Some reasons are due they want to be together and having marriage needs financial amount.
emanuel2
i think ist perefectly ok if they are not married.
friho
i think it's ok to live together but it's not a good idea that have a baby without getting married.when you have a baby ,you would have to get married quickly .marry is a huge thing for every one .we should treat it seciously.besides,most of people is married with children。the life would be have many questions later.
airh3ad
All You would think the opposite is true, but couples who live together prior to marriage may lack the motivation to continue dealing with the same issues they had before marriage. Women often believe that men will change their behaviors once married. Men naively think that their new wives will act like they did before marriage. Both are usually wrong.

On the other hand, couples who have not lived together before marriage, have no terms or conditions written in stone. They begin their relationship assuming that they are there for the long haul, and any problems that arise need to be handled. Couples who live together for years know that if the other screws up, they can always leave. Sadly, this mindset carries over into marriage and helps create those staggering divorce rates. what about thinking weeding?
Ankhanu
zbale wrote:
Not sure where most of the people on this forum are from, but I was wondering what you all think about:

1) Living together (in the same house/apartment) and not being married?
2) Having kids as a couple and not being married?

Plus, do you think the environment you grew up in influences your answer to these questions?


Though I am married, I don't believe marriage is the least bit important in modern society. There's nothing inherently wrong with living together out of marriage, nor is there anything wrong with having children without marriage. Given modern divorce rates, what does marriage even mean, especially when it comes to children?? It's not like a married couple is any more loving or committed than common-law.

The environment we grow up in clearly influences our answers here, to greater or lesser extent. The cultural precepts we have growing up form the basis for our views, the base from which we then can consider other ways of being. My views are clearly modern Western in nature, though they do differ from those of my family, demonstrating that the general culture and upbringing are influential, but not the only factor in determining our attitudes towards various cultural ideas.
shivaghimire
In my opinion the couple should get married to live together as a family and give birth. But in my country some castes of people first live together, have baby and they get married after the child being a year. But this tradition is just like to check either they can have a baby or not? Either they can spend a whole life or not? But I prefer to get married before having baby.
Hello_World
I think you should live with your partner before marriage. You can't really know if you are compatable living together without trying, it can be quite different knowing someone you live with compared to just dating.

If you don't, you go through all that is involved with marriage, to find you are maybe not compatible, just to get divorced.

As to kids, I think it depends on your personal views on marriage.
rachnamathur
I think relationship before marriage is not good it is not making the social environment good.Small children will go this side if they watch there brother and sisters doing this.
malaysia
Married is the answer for a true commitment in human life. This show the unique features for human.
It distinguish between human and animal.
Deferment
It's all about religion. Because of the religion( which religion doesn't matter now)
people judge what's wrong and whats good. Why you shouldn't get children before u are married?
Its entirely up to the couple to decide.
Also having sex before married is a judge based on a religion.

That's why i don't follow any religion. Life the day,
be happy when u wake up healthy the next morning! Carpe Diem!
bruk
People who love each other to live together, regardless of anything. Very Happy
CraigHF
I personnaly have been in a relationship for the past 17 years, and we've been living together (not married) since we've met... about 6 months after we've met to be more precise. We don't have childrens, and we don't plan to have any eighter. For me and my girlfriend, mariage isn't important. As a matter of fact, we both think that marriage is something that brings a concept of "acquired". What is important though, is mutual respect and, faremost, dialog.

Though I'm not pro-marriage, I do understand and respect people who get married, and I do think it is important when childs are involved. Indeed, marriage protects the interests of both parties when things go wrong...
Ryox
Having a relationship living together is fine, but you need to take the time to think about If it is suitable for both of you, especially if you want kids. Kids do a huge role in parents life. If you aren't married and have kids its fine but if you want to get married while taking care of your kid than it would be up too you to decide what is right for both of you!
iiinvest
I was with a girl for 2 years in college and lived with her for 1 and a half years. We got along well in the beginning but things started to unravel as time went on. We broke it off because we definitely had conflicts and were going our separate ways. Now, I'm dating a girl and it is clear in her culture that she will live with her parents until she is married. The past girlfriend had a self centered ideal of the rest of her life while the present girlfriend has similar life goals. I take my past relationship as a learning experience. You surely learn a lot about another person by living with them and you learn how to live with another person.

My advice would be, as others have said, go with the flow. How do you feel about living with the person? How does the other person feel about living with you? If it feels quite natural then go for it. Also, make sure if your goals fit your partner's goals. If things work out wonderful and if things don't work out you gain valuable life experience. Living with the opposite sex surely is something they don't teach you in school and if you plan on marrying or living with the opposite sex for a long period of time, it is a necessary life skill.
Ryox
iiinvest wrote:
I was with a girl for 2 years in college and lived with her for 1 and a half years. We got along well in the beginning but things started to unravel as time went on. We broke it off because we definitely had conflicts and were going our separate ways. Now, I'm dating a girl and it is clear in her culture that she will live with her parents until she is married. The past girlfriend had a self centered ideal of the rest of her life while the present girlfriend has similar life goals. I take my past relationship as a learning experience. You surely learn a lot about another person by living with them and you learn how to live with another person.

My advice would be, as others have said, go with the flow. How do you feel about living with the person? How does the other person feel about living with you? If it feels quite natural then go for it. Also, make sure if your goals fit your partner's goals. If things work out wonderful and if things don't work out you gain valuable life experience. Living with the opposite sex surely is something they don't teach you in school and if you plan on marrying or living with the opposite sex for a long period of time, it is a necessary life skill.



Yea I Agree, living with the girl changes the whole story because than you would realize how she really reacts and how she can be towards you. When you don't live with the girl you really don't know what you are going to really be facing.

Everyone is different in their own way as I must say.
apple
The choice to live with someone you wish to share your life with is a choice that can only be made by the people involved. Personally I have no issues with living together since marriage does not equal love, understanding, togetherness, compromise etc

Life is short, do what makes you happy and fulfilled.
vidafenomenal
could be acceptable. depending on the couple.
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