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How did you last with your partner?





michaelagustin
They are several reason and ways on how to deal relationship with partners...some say, its hard but some said, its not... how about you? share your thoughts about this because maybe you could help our friends to handle his/her relationship with partner Smile
deanhills
I don't think there is any perfect recipe. Some of the relationship is always very good and when things are very good, there is always a good chance of the very good's offsetting opposite, i.e. not so very good. It is probably good to be open to and accept the reality that there will always be the not so good with the good. Instead of wanting to act as though a relationship can only be working if it is absolutely perfect most of the time. That is the point when people start to act as though they are the perfect couple and faking it. I also think couples need to be independent partners. In addition to a shared life, the two need to have their own lives with a focus on contributing to one another's lives, rather than expect to be made happy and fulfilled by the other partner.
The_unnamed_label
my last relationship lasted about 10 yrs.. (Im 30) and I think it lasted cause I did whatever it took to make it work.. I made concessions, and I was a motivator for both of us, organised things, proposed things and such...
I gave up my passions for about 7 yrs (dance, music) as he is not interested in the same things as I am... I gave up travelling too...
Though one day I met someone that totally made me understand I was wrong acting this way... this person doesnt even know that he made me realise things, I dont think... but knowing him just made me realise I was wrong giving up my own stuff in order to please my boyfriend...
when it happened, I slowly started to do things I like again... I travelled a lot and did things I like..
which my partner did not understand or accept really...
So it ended up.

I think the keys for a good relationship are to have common interests, and to make some concessions of course but to not forget your own life/personality. I think that at the end of the day, to make things work, best thing is to stay the one you were at first.
The_unnamed_label
and passion!!! I dont believe that making the smartest choice is always the good thing to do....
deanhills
The_unnamed_label wrote:
I think that at the end of the day, to make things work, best thing is to stay the one you were at first.
Well said and very true. Although I find some of ourselves do change as we become one becomes bonded with one another. We may take on of both there good and not so good character without being aware of it sometimes.
The_unnamed_label
deanhills wrote:
The_unnamed_label wrote:
I think that at the end of the day, to make things work, best thing is to stay the one you were at first.
Well said and very true. Although I find some of ourselves do change as we become one becomes bonded with one another. We may take on of both there good and not so good character without being aware of it sometimes.


Totally.... like I said, in my case I did change into someone I didnt recognise at some point...
Like I said I got to talk to someone that actually made me feel like "myself" and want to do things like I would normally do them again..
that sensation was like a huge fresh air breath...
Turns out I left my long long relationship and I'm doing things I like now... moved of country and restarted studying... on my own haha!!!
no regrets though..

I guess when relationships last for a life time, maybe its because you never lose this sensation...
iyepes
I have to say, lasting isn't the only key, is the quality of the relationship itself. Like one song says, "adding time isn't adding love".

I've lasted five years in my last relationship, and I wouldn't do what I did then again, that relationship should have lasted less, less mutual damaged would be infringed.

I really dream about a lifetime relationship like my parents have, because it's not only about how many years they have been together (39 this year) it's about how they love, respect and support each other, and go side by side in good times and bad times.
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