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Very Annoying Situation!!!!





medesignz
Whilst me and my brother were at the bus stop after a long day of work, being productive, we get approached by a couple of lads, perhaps a little younger than me, who got literally in my brother face being very aggressive. I stepped in between one and my brother, who was getting a little panicy, and said to the chap, "I think you're being a little aggressive!" He instantly took a step back and looked plain at me and said "Why? Do you know who I am?" I said no, and he replied "Do you want to know?" I said not particularly...

He took another step back and continued on his way.

They later returned, and once again approached us (we had just been waiting at the stop doing nothing to cause such aggression) and this time the bigger of the two started.

I once again stood ground, and said "look, we're just waiting for the bus and trying to get home." He responded, "I am the sober one, and if you touch him *pointing at the original aggressor* I will punch you out..." I then just shook my head, and looked at him dead in the eye and said "Can you just leave us alone" He looked into my eyes seeing I was sincere and not going to get worked up by him, so just went back the opposite way.

I am quite happy and able to defend myself. They were both blissfully unaware that for my day job it requires me to wear steel toe capped boots, and that in my spare time I work on the door for some night clubs in the area. But my question is why does this happen? Perhaps they were more than drunk and were on some other substances, but why do people feel they can be crappy to others who are just getting on with their daily business...
watersoul
medesignz wrote:
but why do people feel they can be crappy to others who are just getting on with their daily business...


Sad individuals who probably only imagine any self-worth from the feeling that others are frightened of them. The fact that you were not visibly scared is probably what discouraged the second of the two. I've seen it many times myself in life and after growing up in a rough arse estate I don't actually fear violence anymore to be honest, I just can't be bothered with the inconvenience of it.
When aggressive folk see that lack of fear in your eyes (and it's accompanied with a calm non inflammatory response sticking to the facts), I find they usually move on to an easier 'more scared' target to fuel their ego.

...well played fella, but I agree, it's annoying there seems to be so many pathetic silly boys in the world these days. You did good, just remember that no-one went to the hospital and no-one went to the police station - it could have been all so different if you hadn't chosen to keep your responses as calm as you did.
standready
Well played by talking both of them down verses other options. I am glad those steel toed boots were not needed.
airh3ad
Did you use this line mind your own buiseness? are you sure your not visibly scared?hmm
menino
It was a nice move to not just start punching them, and showing your strength, medesignz.
But you were prepared for it, anyways, with your skills as a bouncer, and your armory. Very Happy

Methinks those people were drunk and upto no good, and you handled the situation well.
I also think they were frustrated, and wanted to spend their frustration on someone else. Probably they were kicked out of a bar, or something.
deanhills
medesignz wrote:
I am quite happy and able to defend myself. They were both blissfully unaware that for my day job it requires me to wear steel toe capped boots, and that in my spare time I work on the door for some night clubs in the area. But my question is why does this happen? Perhaps they were more than drunk and were on some other substances, but why do people feel they can be crappy to others who are just getting on with their daily business...
I think that sometimes guys are quite intuitive when they have met their match. They probably knew that you would not have been a pushover, "without really knowing". Just instinctively. I wonder whether the aggression could have come from being intoxicated. I had a friend at University that was like that. The greatest guy when sober, but when he got intoxicated he became completely belligerent spoiling for fights.

In a way I think you were lucky, as sometimes guys like that don't realize when they are up against more than their match, like these guys must have. So if these guys had got into a fight with you, it may have been a really bad scene for them. And a not so nice situation for you.
medesignz
Thanks for all your words guys!

To be honest after an 11 shift, all I wanted to do was get home and have some food!
shadowozera
I believe that the urge to go home and start om noming on some food was your key to winning that situation....and the fact that you used some expert speech skills to beat them down.
achowles
Unfortunately I don't think it's as easy to explain away as to say they were intoxicated. As deanhills says they seemed to be able to read the situation fairly well. If they were intoxicated enough to act like that in the first place then they wouldn't have been sober enough to read the situation. Plus if they were that drunk then you'd have smelt it on them.

Some people feel good about putting others down. It's just the way it is, unfortunately.
Blaster
Interesting story I'm glad you stood up for yourself. Sadly I think people just have the mentality where they just want to get into fights. They want to see how much trouble they can stir up. People seem to get a bit of a kick out of it too.

I really don't know why people seem to target people that are just standing around like you were. It seems almost foolish. I'm not sure what country you are in or anything but I know here in the States you don't know if that person is carrying a gun. For all you know they could be an off duty cop.

There are too many crazy people in this world. To do something like that is just dumb and down right dangerous.
driftingfe3s
Good move on keeping it from escalating.

I think people like that have some sort of complex. Acting tough, and preying on the weak makes them feel big and important.
ankitdatashn
Nice issue discussed, I think those who think they can be bad to people at their own whim are the biggest idiots on this earth, it looks so foolish when people intrude into privacy of other people. The general public should gather and box these people out, they are scum of filth.

Hope u have a nice time ahead and if not then may your solid boots help you out and show you the way Smile
medesignz
They’ve never had to rely on my boots and thank you once again for your kind words Smile

My reading into the situation was like above, and I’m very happy with the way I interacted with the bananas!

I hope you will all learn, if you do not already, violence is a bad !!!
deanhills
medesignz wrote:
I hope you will all learn, if you do not already, violence is a bad !!!
Right. But don't you find that some people seem to have been created for drama and violence? They are either looking for trouble or attracting trouble to themselves? And they don't necessarily come from deprived backgrounds either. They could easily be from a great home. This is their own unique character! Or perhaps better put, their own unique challenge!
ProfessorY91
Yay for steel toed boots. I've always wanted a pair of those. Unfortunately, I don't see myself coming across a situation where I'd need them any time soon. Society might be nicer than you (or I) perceive.
Helios
A good way to handle the situation dude, yet in some similar situations it might be dangerous.

I was in a supermarket once, wearing quite an expensive jacket (was a gift. Mind you, I'm not wealthy at all). So two guys approached, and one of them said "hey remember me? you owe me 20 bucks!". I said, with a smile on my face, "I honestly have no idea who you are and I keep a record of people who I owe things to. You're not one of them". He then started to become pushy, trying to tell me I "owe" him money. I replied, again with a huge grin, "no, I don't". Later we parted ways at the cashier.
I did took the longer way back home then, just in case, as they had the obvious "robber" look on their face.
I feel that my attempt to have a discussion with them, using their 'slang', confused them so much that they decided to look for a different victim.

In cases like these it's best not to be the hero, but to play along or toughen up, to get out of the situation and leave the 'bananas' be.
watersoul
medesignz wrote:
I hope you will all learn, if you do not already, violence is a bad !!!

Well pointless violence with hatred is definitely a bad, of course, but there really is nothing like having an intense sparring/fighting/violence session with a mate during non-public hours in the gym.
Injuries, absolute exhaustion and the cold pint afterwards draws friendships much closer and creates a totally deeper respect for each other...but thats another story perhaps for another topic Wink
medesignz
watersoul wrote:

Well pointless violence with hatred is definitely a bad, of course, but there really is nothing like having an intense sparring/fighting/violence session with a mate during non-public hours in the gym.
Injuries, absolute exhaustion and the cold pint afterwards draws friendships much closer and creates a totally deeper respect for each other...but thats another story perhaps for another topic Wink


Similar experience when I was in a band... We all went to see a friends band play and we all had a couple drinks... By the end of the night all four of us were fighting like brothers in the street.

We laughed about it as we drove home, and felt we needed to do it.

But that is, I feel, different.
deanhills
watersoul wrote:
Injuries, absolute exhaustion and the cold pint afterwards draws friendships much closer and creates a totally deeper respect for each other...but thats another story perhaps for another topic Wink
Almost like embracing the opposites in ourselves? I agree, provided that it does not become too prolonged or destructive, that that would allow for real bonding between buddies. Could look scary however for those watching. Especially for kids. Although if one argues it right, kids are a great example of practising that kind of behaviour as well.
ProwerBot
There's a lot of weird people that just randomly try to pick fights, I remember some black guy was yelling at us in chicago saying that I was ugly or something and my dad gave him the bird Smile
deanhills
ProwerBot wrote:
There's a lot of weird people that just randomly try to pick fights, I remember some black guy was yelling at us in chicago saying that I was ugly or something and my dad gave him the bird Smile
Agreed. And the opposite as well. Someone may just greet you whom you don't have an idea who this person is, and then say something really complimentary to you of the genuine and sincere variety. I had a couple of those today, and that made quite a good day for me. But yes, there are of course other days that the opposite can happen. Someone whom I do not know from Adam who tackles me from a dizzy height. Guess that is the moment one has to remember that it is rarely about us, but more something about the wiring of the other person. So now if we can have the same nice feeling with being paid the compliment of someone sorting us out, than someone complimenting us, who knows, maybe that could take the sting out of being tackled by weird people? Now if I can achieve that kind of fatalistic equilibrium of the equivalent of water running down a duck's back, I may feel as though I have reached a Nirvana of sorts. Twisted Evil
missdixy
achowles wrote:
Unfortunately I don't think it's as easy to explain away as to say they were intoxicated. As deanhills says they seemed to be able to read the situation fairly well. If they were intoxicated enough to act like that in the first place then they wouldn't have been sober enough to read the situation. Plus if they were that drunk then you'd have smelt it on them.

Some people feel good about putting others down. It's just the way it is, unfortunately.


This. I mean, sure alcohol makes people do crazy stuff sometimes, but I think a a general rule to do something like what these guys did to you, they have to be ****** to begin with. Some people just think it's fun I guess. It's happened to me a few times and like you I just try to act calm but really, it usually terrifies me. Sad
foumy6
I personly can't stand alcohol at all nothing in this world bugs me more than drunks. I grew up with one so I know what there like. Alcohol is a depressent not a stimmulant, but people cant seem to get that through their heads. Idk i guess im just bias :/
deanhills
foumy6 wrote:
Alcohol is a depressent not a stimmulant, but people cant seem to get that through their heads. Idk i guess im just bias :/
I can't agree that alcohol is only a depressant and not a stimulant. I'd say it can be both, but perhaps not at the same time. A drunk can sometimes be stimulated to become argumentative and start fighting with everyone, or he can withdraw, or start to bawl his eyes out. The latter one has to be careful with as there is nothing as annoying as having a "meaningful" discussion with someone who is intoxicated and the next day find that he has absolute no recollection of what has been said.
Insanity
You just can't reason with some people. More so when they are drunk. You did the right thing by standing up to them, but in my experience, standing up to drunk people usually doesn't end up with an ideal situation. They don't think straight so you should be careful. Maybe try to ignore them more next time. Of course, if they get into your face and be all aggressive, there's not much you can do. It's good that you are able to defend yourself, but I have a feeling not everyone works as a bouncer in their spare time.
medesignz
Insanity wrote:
You just can't reason with some people. More so when they are drunk. You did the right thing by standing up to them, but in my experience, standing up to drunk people usually doesn't end up with an ideal situation. They don't think straight so you should be careful. Maybe try to ignore them more next time. Of course, if they get into your face and be all aggressive, there's not much you can do. It's good that you are able to defend yourself, but I have a feeling not everyone works as a bouncer in their spare time.


I, personally, feel that a sober person can very easily stand up with good reason to a drunk person, and should the drunk get physical, the sober has a greater chance of the upper hand due to the lack luster approach the inebriated would conduct.
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