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Homeopathy works!





Bondings
Yes, homeopathy does work. And it isn't very difficult to make yourself. I'll describe it here for you for the small fee of just 500$! Just think of it, for 500$ you will be able to completely replace all the needs for classic, short-sighted medicine, surgery and a lot of other problems you may have! You can even cancel your health insurance!

You are sick and want to get healthy (or have another problem). You take sterilized water (like by cooking it) and put some substances inside that cause the same symptoms as your disease. Like if you don't want to be fat anymore, you may use a cookie. Parts of animals and plants are used a lot. Even urine and faeces are used and recommended. After adding the substances you need to shake the water untill everything has mixed.

Considering the added substances have a lot of bad side effects, there is a need to dilute the mixture. You can do this by taking a small droplet of the mixture and putting it in a big bottle of sterilized water. And once again, shaking is required.

The dilution and shaking is the funnest part of the creation of the heopathic medicine. It is hence necessary to keep repeating this part over and over again. In the end, not a single molecule of the original substances will be left in the mixture.

But fear not! This is the actual goal. The more diluted, the more expensive the homeopathic medicine becomes. So please keep diluting and shaking the mixture! I cannot stress the diluting and shaking part enough, so let's do it say it once more: shake and dilute.

And if you get tired of the diluting and shaking, I have a magical tip for you. Where I come from they use this to help small children finish a meal they don't want to eat anymore. "One spoon for mommy, one spoon for daddy, ..." In this we can translate this to: "One shake for mommy, one dilution for daddy, ...". And you only need to stop when you are out of family members and players of the national soccer team.

Anyway, by now the substance has disappeared for sure out of the mixture (and damn well it should have). But now comes the good part. Water has an extremely good memory and keeps remembering these substances. I knew elephants had a good memory, but didn't know this about water.

At first I was rather sceptical about the ability of water to remember stuff, so I actually test these claims. I took an English dictionary, ripped it in pieces, dissolved it in sterilized water, repeated the above mentioned diluting and shaking a high number of times and than drank it. And guess what? Before this experiment I didn't know a single word of English and now I'm completely fluent in it! It worked like a miracle. Very Happy

Oh and for the people who prefer a pill, there exists a way to put the water memory inside a sugar pill (you know the usual pill that contains sugare, lactose, proteins and colour additives) that contains no water. And the process is really simple! Just put the pill inside some of the water containing the required memory and let the water dry. Now you only need to press it together and you've got a coloured magical pill.

After making the magical water and magical pills, you need to put them in a nice package with a cute picture on it and you've got the best remedy against sickness or any other problem including lack of English knowledge. Testing the pill doesn't need to happen since it doesn't contain any active ingredients besides the memory. :Idea:

With this simple method of creating magical sterilized water and pills my wallet has become a lot heavier and I suddenly felt a lot better. Wink

Disclaimer, this is intended as sarcasm.
LittleBlackKitten
I'm sorry I'm calling bullshit on that as it has NO founding in reality or science. All THAT does is maybe burn a few calories shaking it all.

I don't care if you steal my frih$ for this comment but this is so dumb.
Bondings
LittleBlackKitten wrote:
I'm sorry I'm calling bullshit on that as it has NO founding in reality or science. All THAT does is maybe burn a few calories shaking it all.

I don't care if you steal my frih$ for this comment but this is so dumb.

Sorry, I thought I was obvious enough. I do not mean this for real, it was sarcastic.
Quote:
At first I was rather sceptical about the ability of water to remember stuff, so I actually test these claims. I took an English dictionary, ripped it in pieces, dissolved it in sterilized water, repeated the above mentioned diluting and shaking a high number of times and than drank it. And guess what? Before this experiment I didn't know a single word of English and now I'm completely fluent in it! It worked like a miracle.

I'll try to make a few more of those over-the-top statements and hopefully it will be more obvious. Wink

By the way, the actual process is more or less accurate of how homeopathy works and these pills are actually being sold in pharmacies.
deanhills
LittleBlackKitten wrote:
I'm sorry I'm calling bullshit on that as it has NO founding in reality or science. All THAT does is maybe burn a few calories shaking it all.

I don't care if you steal my frih$ for this comment but this is so dumb.
LittleBlackKitten, where is your sense of humour? I actually picked up on this posting in the Dutch Forum, and mentioned to Bondings how absolutely hilarious it was. I can't recall laughing like I did for a long time. Totally on the number. The portion about the Dictionary was the most precious of all. Bondings then undertook to do a translation later on. So maybe if you have problems with it, it's my fault. I'm happy however for seeing it, and am grateful to Bondings for going to the trouble to translate and post it. Smile
Arty
Haha this is awesome.

Most homeopathic treatments involve sugar water too.
jwellsy
Quote:
And if you get tired of the diluting and shaking, I have a magical tip for you. Where I come from they use this to help small children finish a meal they don't want to eat anymore. "One spoon for mommy, one spoon for daddy, ..." In this we can translate this to: "One shake for mommy, one dilution for daddy, ...". And you only need to stop when you are out of family members and players of the national soccer team.


What sacrilege! Of course, every rational person knows that you have to dilute it 100:1 one hundred times for it to acquire maximum effectiveness.

LOL
c'tair
Bondings wrote:
LittleBlackKitten wrote:
I'm sorry I'm calling bullshit on that as it has NO founding in reality or science. All THAT does is maybe burn a few calories shaking it all.

I don't care if you steal my frih$ for this comment but this is so dumb.

Sorry, I thought I was obvious enough. I do not mean this for real, it was sarcastic.
Quote:
At first I was rather sceptical about the ability of water to remember stuff, so I actually test these claims. I took an English dictionary, ripped it in pieces, dissolved it in sterilized water, repeated the above mentioned diluting and shaking a high number of times and than drank it. And guess what? Before this experiment I didn't know a single word of English and now I'm completely fluent in it! It worked like a miracle.

I'll try to make a few more of those over-the-top statements and hopefully it will be more obvious. Wink

By the way, the actual process is more or less accurate of how homeopathy works and these pills are actually being sold in pharmacies.


The scariest part about this is that people make a killing by selling sugar water, snake oil and false hope.

Shouldn't it be grounds for legal action against the company? For example, if you buy a color LCD TV and instead you get a piece of paper with some colorful drawings on it - it's considered a crime because it was lying.

So what about outrageous claims put forward by homeopaths and them making money off of... plain water? Shouldn't they be tried for scamming people?
adri
c'tair wrote:
For example, if you buy a color LCD TV and instead you get a piece of paper with some colorful drawings on it - it's considered a crime because it was lying.


Yeah that would be a crime but it would not be a crime if you never said that there was no LCD TV in it. For example: if you have a box with an expensive Rolex image on it and you start yelling at the marketplace: "A very nice watch for only $50, buy it now!",... And actually you just put in a normal watch of five dollars, well then you were not lying, you were just deceiving the people with the image of the Rolex.

adri
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