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Singular Friendship? (!= Group Friendship)





doitsingular
Hello,

I want to be friends with this girl, for some reason the urge to be around her or to be friends with her is overwhelming. Which is odd, because i'm not "really" sexually attracted to her (she's cute, but youger to a degree I don't feel is appropriate), nor am trying to pursue any form of romantic relationship.

One of the reasons I like talking to her, or being around her is due to her mental/intellectual maturity, it's at a level close to mine (atleast I believe), even given the age difference (I'm 17, she's 14). Whenever I try to ask her to hang out, she always claims she has to bring friends. The thing is, I'm not a huge fan of her friends, their mental/intellectual maturity is too distance from mine (they are annoying), It's hard for me to become comfortable.

She claims her mother, won't let her hang out with me unless she has friends around, but I kind of find that hard to believe. She's had two boyfriends in the last year, and I can only assume, she has had chances to be alone with them. I don't see how a relationship would workout, if they couldn't be alone. (But then again the relationships didnt work out, so perhaps that is why ? Razz)

I have friendships with people, where the friendship is just between me and them, I don't hang out with them and their friends. They don't hang out with me and my friends, it keeps things simple. I don't have issues with those friendships, they are smooth. My question is how can I steer this friendship, in that direction? I want to be friends with her, not friends with her friends. I'd like to get to know her, not her friends.

Am I asking too much?

Give me your thoughts!

P.S. when I mention her mental/intellectual level, I am referring to how we interact online (msn, facebook, etc..). Our friendship is based off of that, and I want to strengthen that by hanging out with her in real life, and to actually become comfortable with her physical presence.
deanhills
Looks as though you have to win her mother over as well. If you are only interested in friendship, that should be easy to do? Having others around probably not such a big deal. Once the mother trusts you, it may be much easier going as well after that.
Bluedoll
Think it might be a good idea to allow the friends to be around. This might really work to your advantage as well. If what you say is true and I can only take you for your word and then being around her just so you can get to know her will work this way. Being with the friends allows you to get to know the person even faster/better. Just go for it. You don’t have to be a buddy to her friends but getting to know them can’t hurt. It is true the different age group thing might make you drop down a notch as far as maturity goes but you can always wing it and enjoy the folly or set a good example even? No, forget that, just be yourself and try something different, I say.
macky
doitsingular wrote:
Hello,

I want to be friends with this girl, for some reason the urge to be around her or to be friends with her is overwhelming. Which is odd, because i'm not "really" sexually attracted to her (she's cute, but youger to a degree I don't feel is appropriate), nor am trying to pursue any form of romantic relationship.

One of the reasons I like talking to her, or being around her is due to her mental/intellectual maturity, it's at a level close to mine (atleast I believe), even given the age difference (I'm 17, she's 14). Whenever I try to ask her to hang out, she always claims she has to bring friends. The thing is, I'm not a huge fan of her friends, their mental/intellectual maturity is too distance from mine (they are annoying), It's hard for me to become comfortable.

She claims her mother, won't let her hang out with me unless she has friends around, but I kind of find that hard to believe. She's had two boyfriends in the last year, and I can only assume, she has had chances to be alone with them. I don't see how a relationship would workout, if they couldn't be alone. (But then again the relationships didnt work out, so perhaps that is why ? Razz)

I have friendships with people, where the friendship is just between me and them, I don't hang out with them and their friends. They don't hang out with me and my friends, it keeps things simple. I don't have issues with those friendships, they are smooth. My question is how can I steer this friendship, in that direction? I want to be friends with her, not friends with her friends. I'd like to get to know her, not her friends.

Am I asking too much?



it is not that you are asking too much but in a way try to do some limitations that people may

understand what are the things that you are really trying to figure out...
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