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I'm friends with a guy, because I fancy him...mistake?





RossiGirl46
I told my work colleague that I liked him about 6 months ago, he told me he saw me as a friend.

6 months on after a few months of not seeing each other... we hang out with loads, we go cinema together, out for dinner together, only its always just me and him. never in a group outing. We love spending time with each other, lots of in-jokes, but I am starting to get a bit down over it, because I am being silly in thinking I could be just his friend! I would still like to be more, but is there anyway we could be more, or should I throw all the chips in and tell him that I still have these feelings, or give up on everything?

I actually would hate not to ever speak to him again we are great friends
escritor
It depends on the way he looks at you, the kinds of compliments he makes to you etc.

If he always acts and talks to you just like a friend, and you think that you may like him more than that, you should avoid dating him like that.

If you believe that his feelings may have changed too, you should ask him again if he still feels just like a friend.
rogue_skydragon
If he has already declared that he does not want to develop a romantic relationship, yet he still is taking you out as if you two are a romantic couple, he is not being fair to you at all. He is leading you on and giving you false hope of the kind of relationship you want to have, which is unfair if he is not truly willing to devote himself to that. I suggest drawing some sort of boundary...limit that kind of romantic interaction.
hunnyhiteshseth
I guess he doesn't want to commit yet and thats why he might have said that he considers you just as a friend. But with passage of time he might realize that he is also in love with you and want you!
mk12327
Many relationships started off as two people being friends. However, there are also many examples where friends could no longer be that close after one expressed interest in developing a romantic relationship. It depends alot on how the other person think and react.

Like some had said, he could have taken you as a friend in the beginning and slowly developed feelings for you over time. But please be warned that there are people who simply have the ability to "click" with almost anyone. It helps to find out if he treats other people (especially other girls) the same way as he do to you.
macky
RossiGirl46 wrote:
I told my work colleague that I liked him about 6 months ago, he told me he saw me as a friend.

6 months on after a few months of not seeing each other... we hang out with loads, we go cinema together, out for dinner together, only its always just me and him. never in a group outing. We love spending time with each other, lots of in-jokes, but I am starting to get a bit down over it, because I am being silly in thinking I could be just his friend! I would still like to be more, but is there anyway we could be more, or should I throw all the chips in and tell him that I still have these feelings, or give up on everything?

I actually would hate not to ever speak to him again we are great friends


i know what it feels like but i suggest that tell it to him but in a good way.

It is very hard coz you don't know what things awaits to you...
macky
RossiGirl46 wrote:
I told my work colleague that I liked him about 6 months ago, he told me he saw me as a friend.

6 months on after a few months of not seeing each other... we hang out with loads, we go cinema together, out for dinner together, only its always just me and him. never in a group outing. We love spending time with each other, lots of in-jokes, but I am starting to get a bit down over it, because I am being silly in thinking I could be just his friend! I would still like to be more, but is there anyway we could be more, or should I throw all the chips in and tell him that I still have these feelings, or give up on everything?

I actually would hate not to ever speak to him again we are great friends


i know what it feels like but i suggest that tell it to him but in a good way.

It is very hard coz you don't know what things awaits to you...
Flakky
Maybe you should kiss him while you are a bit tipsy using that as an excuse Wink
Lure him into a party and strike! Very Happy
deanhills
Maybe you should date someone else, just to see his reaction? If he shows a reaction, then you will know he has feelings for you. If not, then at least you will have covered yourself well. Just human nature, the more available someone is, the less noticed they are. If they become a little less available, then interest usually gets more.
standready
As deanhills suggested - try the jealousy approach. Take a date to company function and watch his reaction. Hey, you are just friends right?
mk12327
deanhills wrote:
Maybe you should date someone else, just to see his reaction? If he shows a reaction, then you will know he has feelings for you. If not, then at least you will have covered yourself well. Just human nature, the more available someone is, the less noticed they are. If they become a little less available, then interest usually gets more.


I think this is worth a try. Just going out on a date with someone doesn't really hurt either.
escritor
Faking a date is the worst advice I've seen. Confused
macky
RossiGirl46 wrote:
I told my work colleague that I liked him about 6 months ago, he told me he saw me as a friend.

6 months on after a few months of not seeing each other... we hang out with loads, we go cinema together, out for dinner together, only its always just me and him. never in a group outing. We love spending time with each other, lots of in-jokes, but I am starting to get a bit down over it, because I am being silly in thinking I could be just his friend! I would still like to be more, but is there anyway we could be more, or should I throw all the chips in and tell him that I still have these feelings, or give up on everything?

I actually would hate not to ever speak to him again we are great friends



You may cherish your friendship and i swear that it will last longer than a simple relationship.

You may also show your feelings, inform him but at any moment when you get both hurt

(which normally happens) that's the critical thing.
iman
Maybe commitment is still hard for him.
But what you should do is maintain your friendship with him, no matter what happens Very Happy
macky
he always cherish what friendship you have been build already and that it is...
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