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How long before you say "I love you"?





Blaster
Well for some people saying I love you is a big deal as it should be. However it seems like most people say it far to quickly because they feel the need to.

Me personally I have never said it to anyone. Well at least for relationships. Me and my girlfriend both talked about it and decided that it is really best to say it when it actually means something.

As for people like my sister her and her ex said it within about a month. As you can see that didn't quite work out.

So I want to hear from you guys on what you think is the appropriate time to say it. Now I'm not really looking for a after 2 months or something like that. You can't really put a time on something like this. Rather I want to see what you guys think causes people to say these famous 3 words to there significant other.
tdossi
Hi,

I thought women like to hear.
One should not lie there.
But, I think if it is so, one can safely say: I love you.

It must not be repeated every day.

Greeting tdossi
Marcuzzo
there are no rules on when to say something or when not to say something.
you should tell her that you lover her when you actualy do... most people tend to mix up like and love.
big difference.
I said my Girlfriend that I loved her after 3 months... 11 years later we are still together
AftershockVibe
This is one of those questions where whoever feels the need to ask the question will never be given a satisfactory answer. (At least, not by asking the question, they'll probably work it out on their own).

As with most most communication, success depends entirely on audience and context. Most people would say that a first date would be a distastrous time to say it. On the other hand, if you're the kind of person to do such a thing on a first date, you're only likely to be dating and eventually stay together with someone who either thinks the same way, or at least likes that kind of impulsiveness.

In my first relationship of any depth, my girlfriend at the time said this after 2 months. This is something I would barely have thought about doing. So, if I'd been asked the day before what my "what if she said..." reponse would have been, I'd probably have thought it a) ridiculously unlikely and b) maybe a bit uncomfortable.

But as I said, communication is all about context. Context to the outsider may sound non-ideal, we were just in a very busy and loud bar with our largely non-overlappying groups of friends. She was a bit tipsy, I was a little less so. Barely being able to hear each other, she walked over and we joked about something. Preceded by the largest smile on her face, she hugged me, said she loved me and then walked (possibly faster than usual) away to dance, realising what she'd just said.

In all other situations this might have been awkward, or at least required on of those "clarification" conversations. But because of the unexpected spontaneity and impulsive happiness, it wasn't even close.
Blaster
Thats a pretty good answer. There is no correct answer to this question like you had stated. I more asked it because everyone does have there different opinions and I wanted to see what they had to say. You can learn a lot about someone, i think, by they way they answer such a difficult question.

Lets face it you are right when it comes to spontaneity. At least I think so.

I have yet to say this to any of my girlfriends. My current girlfriend and I have talked about it and both of us agree that it isn't a phrase that should just be thrown out there.

Therefore when it is done like this, by waiting, it kind of means more. It means that you actually do have this feeling towards that person.
tingkagol
I think we exchanged I love you's on our 2nd day. Shocked
LittleBlackKitten
Say it when it's true. Easy enough, but defining what "love" is, is the hard part.
Blaster
Thats a true part. I think that love is what ever you make it. Love means something different to different people. So based on this logic maybe it is right for some people to say it sooner than others do.
airh3ad
My past experiences, to consider "I love you" to be the worst vulgar phrase you could ever utter in a relationship. If you say it, you should pretty much expect to be single very soon.
If a woman says it to me, I'll be incredibly flattered, and relieved that the pressure is off. No matter what, never be the first person to say it - let them say it to you, based on the qualities you've presented, and then decide whether you actually reciprocate the feelings. There is no reason to put yourself on the line by saying the L word. But i dont agree with being satisfied by non verbal actions , if he loves you, he should be able to say it. Most men dont say it, because theyre not feeling it, a man can stay in a relationship for years just for convenience and never love you, so yes, hearing it is important.
we've all heard a story about some guy who lived with someone for years and never declared his love verbally, leaves the relationship, meets someone he really falls for, and tells her he loves her and is married within a year or so.
So, never be afraid to ask him how he really feels after about 6 months or so, otherwise you could aste a lot of time . Time is something none of us have an unlimted supply off.
Blaster
I know what you mean. I don't plan on being the first to say it but who knows with the way things are going. Now I am a guy (if you couldn't tell) and I know i'm not afraid to say it in the long run but like you said its hard to be the first to say it. It seems like it can work 2 ways. Like you said it can turn out your single very soon. Weather it be because she feels your too clingy or what. Now both me and my girlfriend have never said this phrase to anyone in a relationship so I guess neither of us really know "when" to say it. I'm not sure how each of us would feel about it either. It can scare a girl off or it can make them feel better about themselves. You have to look at both angles before you say it. Because if you truly do love them and they don't yet feel it then it could end roughly for both of you
macky
Blaster wrote:
Well for some people saying I love you is a big deal as it should be. However it seems like most people say it far to quickly because they feel the need to.

Me personally I have never said it to anyone. Well at least for relationships. Me and my girlfriend both talked about it and decided that it is really best to say it when it actually means something.

As for people like my sister her and her ex said it within about a month. As you can see that didn't quite work out.

So I want to hear from you guys on what you think is the appropriate time to say it. Now I'm not really looking for a after 2 months or something like that. You can't really put a time on something like this. Rather I want to see what you guys think causes people to say these famous 3 words to there significant other.


I must say it depends to the personality of the person. I had live this world for so many having with a lot

of so many relationship been with and i must say it really depends. Most of the time a person whom is

always serious at all times keep it precious. They don't often say the words "i love you" and of course use

it on a especial occasion or situation. Then most person whom smiley faces and expressive, they often

use it. Well it's only base on my own experience and i don't have any proof of it but experience.
Blaster
I think i know what you are saying. It depends on the personality of the girl/guy you are going to say it to. And yes I have stated this i agree 100% with this. Some people use it like it is to be thrown around just because well from a guys point here girls seem to like it and react to it.
missdixy
Marcuzzo wrote:
there are no rules on when to say something or when not to say something.
you should tell her that you lover her when you actualy do... most people tend to mix up like and love.
big difference.
I said my Girlfriend that I loved her after 3 months... 11 years later we are still together


This. I told my boyfriend I loved him after only a month and we've been together ~3 years now, and counting. I definitely don't think there is a "set" time to say 'I love you' to someone. Just do it when you really feel like you LOVE the person.
Greatking
Well I will say that it depends on everyone, for instance it took me three months of dating before I told my fiance that I loved her.

It all comes down to what you feel and when it means something. For some people its quick for some it may not be so.

For the quick guys they may mean it and those who take long they may also mean. So you see it depends on the person.
Superbikegirl
I believe that one should say "I love you" if you really mean it...if truely and honestly feel it

If that person is not with you, you yearn for their presence around you, to hear their voice and to smile at them. Your heart would skip a beat when you see them looking at you.

If you only want the best for that person. If you see yourself not giving them up, that's when you will know...

I hope this helps
dhani
I think people say I love you to easy....without meaning it.
blog_inforama
IF you are absolutely sure about him or her say it as soon as you can before it's too late!!
it's the chance you dont want to miss. So folks be brave and go ahead SAY IT while you still can, Before someone else does.
bd_and_dan
I think you can say it when you really have strong feelings for your gf. And i don't mean a crush on a girl/guy. It takes a while when you know your girl or guy.
ankitdatashn
I would say when it's for sure that you want him/her as your lifepartner and you think that he/she complements you well. Smile . No fixed duration in terms of months or so but when you have found that the person gels well with you Smile

All the best Smile
nah022
i'll never say it before my partner , afraid he do not and just happy with that, you feel that
uzeed
In most cases we think: this is true love, when in fact it’s not. But than if this ain’t love than what it is? There are plenty of things that we confuse with love, " this was what a friend siad. the truth now love is something we really cant understand..... love is sharing, love is giving, Love hold no anger ... we should try to make our heart open always to make our love grow...
cherry-pie
I think you have to say it when you really fell that you love Very Happy there is no time for it just follow your heart
pll
dhani wrote:
I think people say I love you to easy....without meaning it.


Agreed, But I also think it can depend on the place where you live, it can change the behavior of people.

I mean tons of you said that you were saying ''I love you'' after a month or so, where I live people can say ''I love you'' on a first date or the first time they see each other...

It's a completely different meaning here, you can say ''I love you'' to your friend (means that you love him/her like a friend) !!
agbor
Love has no shape or color. creed or caste It has wide range and can never die out or last. To think of it is madness and sheer waste, Can any one explain whether it has sour or sweet taste? you see that we all lack answer but one thing is clear God is love.
zbale
As people have said above, there are no rules, even though there may be tendencies according to age groups, cultural backgrounds, etc. (I'm not aware of any research on this, though).

As you want to be true to the person you love and to your feelings, my advice would be this:

- Don't say "I love you" if you don't feel it, even if the other person is saying it or expecting you to say it.

- If you feel that you love the person, say it, write it, sing it, don't just keep it to yourself unless you know it's going to bother the person.

I hope this helps. Keep us updated Wink
macky
every girl wants to hear that three lovely word everyday and they always wanted that words to be feel

so true... Very Happy
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