FRIHOST FORUMS SEARCH FAQ TOS BLOGS COMPETITIONS
You are invited to Log in or Register a free Frihost Account!


Why do so many married men flirt and lead other women on?





Superbikegirl
I recently started in a position where I have to go out seeing VIP clients (Corporate Environment) meaning that I meet a lot of new people.

I am a 22 year young lady. I have found that men would flirt with me and make me feel as if they are in love with me... only find out to my shock that they are either involved in a rock-solid relationship or married. I always nip it in the butt, never will I get involved in a situation such as that.

Nothing would seem to be wrong, these men would have a beautiful wife with or without children and some recently got married as far as 6 months earlier.

I never lead men on. I have a very strong personality with confidence and is outgoing and friendly, I always manage to make people laugh. I chat to everyone and anyone. I am a social being... not intending to lead them on

I just need your advice.

This actually freaks me out making me feel as if I never want to get married.... I do not want to end up hurt
deanhills
Superbikegirl wrote:
This actually freaks me out making me feel as if I never want to get married.... I do not want to end up hurt
Most men probably react in a specific way to a friendly and outgoing lady. They may think you are leading them on. Let them know firmly where they stand, and there is really nothing to worry about or "freak out" about.
epspk
well, its because by nature we men are more sexually promiscuous. Its inborn and its part of our genes. We can't help it if we get flirty with other women but it is just up to the guy if he can really control those urges. That's what separates us from other animals, because we have better sense of intelligence and we can control our animal instincts.

There are even some cases that women cheat or be flirty with another guy too you know but those instances are significantly less than men.

Its in our genes. Its nature. Go with flow... Very Happy
AftershockVibe
Superbikegirl wrote:
I always nip it in the butt, never will I get involved in a situation such as that.


Haha! That's a brilliant mis-phrase given the context. I'm pretty sure you meant "nip it in the bud"! Wink

Flirting with you is probably one of the mose risque things these guys get to. They love their wives, but flirting is fun. Flirting with someone new is just a bit of harmless excitement.

They probably don't even realise they're really doing it that much. In the same way that you insist that you're not leading anyone on - it's just your personality.

Also, at 22 I wouldn't be worrying about never getting married!
md7dani
epspk wrote:

There are even some cases that women cheat or be flirty with another guy too you know but those instances are significantly less than men.

Its in our genes. Its nature. Go with flow... Very Happy


That's not true. There are a lot of women just like that. I've met so many women who flirt with you just to gain confidence. They are not intrested in anything they just want to play with you. The difference between a man and a woman is: A man doesn't need to flirt to get confidence, we get it by having sex with beutiful women. A woman on the other hand will get it by having many male friends.
Greatking
Well in such environment men tend to innocently flirt in the process of trying to be friendly, except for the ones that actually go all out with the intention of having a fling.

Just keep your head straight, as they say be professional and do not LEAD THEM ON.
Superbikegirl
Understood. You guys know what you are talking about!

Thank you for the wise words

:idea:
dhani
What if someone happens to be polyamorous? There is something besides monogamy, that means being able to fall in love in more than one person. That is not cheating...
Superbikegirl
Hi dhani, thanks but that would just hurt both parties....
LittleBlackKitten
In my opinion there are four "breeds" of men in terms of sexuality;

1) The Player
This kind of guy is hardwired tp spread his seed wherever he can as fast as he can, for the instinctual purpose of procreation, even if in his mind that is the last thing he wants.

2) The Lover
Thus guy is the true blue one girl guy sort. He is loyal, and sticks with a girl. This isn't to say they're incapable of mistakes and errors, but they usually try very hard not to.

3) The Antisexual
These guys are usually very damaged, and have a very hard time being sexual themselves, never mind with anyone else. They tend to be afraid of sexual contact, and rarely ever become "ready" to admit it to themselves that they are a sexual being.

4) The Denialist
This guy is either not realizing he's in the closet, or is a little of the antisexual and the Lover. He's not ready to commit, but can be VERY sexual and yet at the same time very afraid of staying in one place, usually afraid of being hurt, or just doesn't understand his own sexuality.


Not every guy will be interested in enjoying multiple women. That's about as fair a generalization as saying all women are coldhearted money seeking skanks...
socceraggie
Wow! This discussion took turns I did not anticipate.

Superbikegirl - Just maintain your professionalism. Communicate to your boss if something ever seems inappropriate to document the event and note how you tried to diffuse the situation. If you are in a sales environment, use what you have: intellect, appearance, communication skills, charisma. All of these are tools to be used in the sales world. Many guys do enjoy talking with a beautiful woman and it isn't anything more than that. These are the ones you can use your charm to sell your companies goods and services. The guys that are interested in more than just harmless flirting will not change and you want nothing to do with.

On a personal side where you talked about never wanting to get married. You can't win the game if you don't play. You have to get out there and take a chance on people. Yes sometimes you will get burned, but when you do finally find the right person it will make all the heartache worthwhile.

Good luck!
Superbikegirl
Hi guys

I have a clear seeing now on this whole situation..

LittleBlackKitten
Thanks for laying the types of guys out for me.

socceraggie
Thanks for your honest opinion and you are so right!

Really appreciate it guys!
blog_inforama
well men will be men!! that's the fun part as long as no one gets hurt!!
bd_and_dan
Imagine how it was for about 50 000 years ago. How did the cavemen behave? They had a loot of women to produce as many children as possible. This was important to survive in the harsh environment. Men these days have the same thinking in the subconscious. Some can control it, some can't.
andysart380
im not married but ive been with girls and i have never cheated..but i will flirt.. i look at it like a game i see no problem flirting with another girl because i know im not actually trying to get somewhere.. its practice..you have to stay in the game.
dhani
Why is it so important to "own" your partner? We are so programmed with the monogamy way of thinking. I don't think the nature of human beings is to be close to only one person at a time. Isn't it beautful to be able to love more than one person? Relationships are unique...none of them can replace another. If you see things this way....you communicate EVERYTHING to your partner/s. For example you tell your partner that you have met this lovely person that you are attracted to. That doesn't mean that your feelings change for your first partner. Giving this to each other increase and deepens love. Cheating is when you have secrets, when you don't communicate with your partner/s. The big NO NO here is jelousy....what exactly is that, fear of being left alone, not being good enough, comparing yourself to someone else. If you overcome those feelings which is basiclly fear....you can live a rich, loving life being close to several people you like/love and be very happy.
nam_siddharth
dhani wrote:
Why is it so important to "own" your partner? We are so programmed with the monogamy way of thinking. I don't think the nature of human beings is to be close to only one person at a time. Isn't it beautful to be able to love more than one person? Relationships are unique...none of them can replace another. If you see things this way....you communicate EVERYTHING to your partner/s. For example you tell your partner that you have met this lovely person that you are attracted to. That doesn't mean that your feelings change for your first partner. Giving this to each other increase and deepens love. Cheating is when you have secrets, when you don't communicate with your partner/s. The big NO NO here is jelousy....what exactly is that, fear of being left alone, not being good enough, comparing yourself to someone else. If you overcome those feelings which is basiclly fear....you can live a rich, loving life being close to several people you like/love and be very happy.


wow!
ankitdatashn
Ahh, now I guess most guys are like that, they are there to break heart, even gals are not far behind. I attribute it to the genes that bring out the oomphatic nature of a person. Now I am not able to express myself properly, will be back...
iyepes
In my experience many people flirt, men and women, and most of them look at it like a game, it seems that they think nobody goes hurt since it's just flirting. But you I can tell is an annoyance having a married man flirting to you, it not only disturbs, but also make you lost time.

And in the other hand, there are single men who also flirt just for fun, that's another annoyance and lost of time, that also confuses you sometimes.
recked
for excitement in their life. Being married = end of fun.
positive_vibes
Superbikegirl wrote:
I recently started in a position where I have to go out seeing VIP clients (Corporate Environment) meaning that I meet a lot of new people.

I am a 22 year young lady. I have found that men would flirt with me and make me feel as if they are in love with me... only find out to my shock that they are either involved in a rock-solid relationship or married. I always nip it in the butt, never will I get involved in a situation such as that.

Nothing would seem to be wrong, these men would have a beautiful wife with or without children and some recently got married as far as 6 months earlier.

I never lead men on. I have a very strong personality with confidence and is outgoing and friendly, I always manage to make people laugh. I chat to everyone and anyone. I am a social being... not intending to lead them on

I just need your advice.

This actually freaks me out making me feel as if I never want to get married.... I do not want to end up hurt




Well what you have to think about here, I'ts not just men. Infact you seem pretty sexist saying this, it's women too. An for men doing this, they obviously have something wrong with there realtionship with there girlfriend/wife. Yes it is wrong indeed, i totally agree with you there but at a point in life. Things can turn out bad, people make mistakes, that they regret. Maybe his girlfriend/wife isn't giving him what he needs? Seems like it to me, if he's going out looking for other people.


You never lead men on you say, well that's what you say ( Men think differnt ) they could think your trying to lead them on when your actually not. Just the same with women to be pretty honest with you here.

To me, i suggest you going out with your friends to a bar or a club, having a few drinks, and start chatting to some decent guy's maybe look for a shy guy, a guy who doesn't look to popular ( Alot of popular guys have other chicks looking obviously ) You just need to meet the right person, every guy out there isn't like that. Definetly not, well i wish you alot of look, and hope the best for you.
Insanity
It's probably because they like the attention they get and how they can easily attract men and use this power to thier advantage. It's a dirty game.
uzeed
Many men do flirt for many reason of their choice but i think its not right. Anyway some men flirt due to wrong choice. They did not marry the woman of their dreams for what so ever reason. So others flirt due to neglect from their wife. They then go for the woman that gives them attention.
watersoul
In relationships, I think a bit of flirting every now and then is healthy on both sides, it reminds us that we're with someone because we choose to be with them...not because we can't find anyone else! Laughing
deanhills
Totally agreed. And it's loads of fun as well. Gets everyone's energy levels up and the endorphins flowing Smile
Greatking
Well most do tend to take advantage of the situation and just want to have fun; a stress relief out of the days pressure.

Be professional, drawing all the boundary lines. And watch out for the ones who actually come to hunt.

Dont be their prey!!!!!!!!!!!!.
macky
it is always the nature of a man the are always been like that... but it is just only for fun...
Related topics
science vs. religion
Conservative Christian Dictionary.
Study: Men Enjoy Seeing Bad People Suffer
sms jokes
sms jokes
Sex Before Marriage
Unfaithful - Why Men Cheat
Why Women Cheat?
"Self Pleasure" - Good Or Bad?
Asian guys with white girls?
Why do some men care about virtue so much?
Why do some men have a big penis attitude & can't work i
I am 25 years old,but no girl friend
Branch thread - Homosexuality
Reply to topic    Frihost Forum Index -> Lifestyle and News -> Relationships

FRIHOST HOME | FAQ | TOS | ABOUT US | CONTACT US | SITE MAP
© 2005-2011 Frihost, forums powered by phpBB.