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I need some help guys





Hondaridr58
Well, It seems as though I have lost my way in life. I used to be someone who had friends, had girls who wanted me and so forth. Now, I dont have anything. I cant seem to keep someone I have known for many years entertained enough to stick around for more than an hour. Basically, my life has become shit. My social skills have diminished to nothing. I have one close friend, who I don't even see much.. I have even noticed that my parents dont talk to me anywhere near as much as they used to. I have no idea what direction to go in life. Please give me some advice, I dont know how much more of this I can take.
apple
Hondaridr58 wrote:
Well, It seems as though I have lost my way in life. I used to be someone who had friends, had girls who wanted me and so forth. Now, I dont have anything. I cant seem to keep someone I have known for many years entertained enough to stick around for more than an hour. Basically, my life has become shit. My social skills have diminished to nothing. I have one close friend, who I don't even see much.. I have even noticed that my parents dont talk to me anywhere near as much as they used to. I have no idea what direction to go in life. Please give me some advice, I dont know how much more of this I can take.


Hello,

How old are you? Do you work?
First thing I noted is that you are aware of your position.
Most people don't notice when these kinda things change.
So now that you have clearly identified what has changed, you must ask yourself what do you want.

Change is not bad at all, so don't spend too much time worrying about what you no longer have.

If you'd like the relationship with your parents to be 'fixed' you must figure out what changed, when it changed and what to do to bridge the gap. Since you said your social skills have diminished, how do you fix it?

What do you want with your life?
Asap170
Hondaridr58 wrote:
Well, It seems as though I have lost my way in life. I used to be someone who had friends, had girls who wanted me and so forth. Now, I dont have anything. I cant seem to keep someone I have known for many years entertained enough to stick around for more than an hour. Basically, my life has become shit. My social skills have diminished to nothing. I have one close friend, who I don't even see much.. I have even noticed that my parents dont talk to me anywhere near as much as they used to. I have no idea what direction to go in life. Please give me some advice, I dont know how much more of this I can take.


That is like the same thing about me, but I had one great friend she helped me a lot with my problems that I had and she is part of who I was. I would maybe go to your friend or find a good friend that is a girl and tell her your situation. Girls usually know what to say to you. They are for more than just cleaning the house and making you food. Haha I am joking. But seriously talk to someone about your problem it may help you out a lot.
md7dani
ok so you have lost all your friends, then I have to ask you if something happend in your life, changes in lifestyle, habbits etc?
Then when you have identified what caused the changes in your life, try to fix them back to when it was ok.
zbale
Hey "Hondaridr58", one thing is for sure, you've kept your honesty and clarity and that's quite rare qualities these days.

My advice would be this (please read the next paragraph as well): friends and family can always be of great (and sometimes amazing) help when they are around but in cases where you feel really at your lowest and that getting out of the swamp seems beyond your own powers, there is nothing like professional help.

The main difficulty (apart for the fact that it can be costly) is sometimes going beyond our own barrier: the stereotype that therapy is for losers or as a last resort thing, plus all kinds of good excuses (if I may get personal for a second, I accepted to do couple counseling only after my ex-wife left me, and as soon as we started I realized we should have started way earlier -- but I was full of stereotypes then).

In general, there are many approaches to therapy (it's a kind of a complex world it seems), and the first step would be to determine which one would suit you best (running to the first shrink is not necessarily a good choice, some say). I have no background in this and it depends largely where you live, but a good place to start would be to contact either an acquaintance who works in the field even if they're in a different city or state (they know how to keep their mouth shut, if that's a concern) or to see if there's a phone number in your community that you can call (maybe you can find that through Google or your town hall or county web page). If you don't know where to start I may be able to check that out with somebody who might know (for the US).

One book that, ironically, helped me as I was divorcing was a book called "Is there anything I can do? Helping a friend when times are tough" (by Saul Gordon). Though I was the one needing help, the book made me realize what I was going through as it described quite accurately what I felt. It also made me realize that the stages I was going through were a normal process and that, in the same way as there was a way into the swamp, there was a way out of it. There are probably other books as well.

I hope this helps. Please keep us posted.

Don't lose faith. I think it's an amazing thing that you were able to write this post, and a sure sign that you are ready for a change.
jilbs
Hondaridr58 wrote:
Well, It seems as though I have lost my way in life. I used to be someone who had friends, had girls who wanted me and so forth. Now, I dont have anything. I cant seem to keep someone I have known for many years entertained enough to stick around for more than an hour. Basically, my life has become shit. My social skills have diminished to nothing. I have one close friend, who I don't even see much.. I have even noticed that my parents dont talk to me anywhere near as much as they used to. I have no idea what direction to go in life. Please give me some advice, I dont know how much more of this I can take.


Hi Hondaridr58, seems like you're life is really messed up. I agree with what apple commented. First, You must know what you want. then once you know it,. do things one step at a time. If your social life died, well you can start brining it back. start it at work. greet your colleagues, hi! hello! how is your day and smile. A smile alone can make a big difference. it will make your entire day full of enthusiasm.

With regards to your parents, maybe your parents doesn't bother you because they think that you are busy with your things and you seem fine. Talk to them, reach out. tell them things like the things your remember when you were a kid. that will open up a positive conversation. Most parents like that.

Good luck. Smile
apple
I really hope you're alright.
mugundhan
"Well, It seems as though I have lost my way in life. I used to be someone who had friends, had girls who wanted me and so forth. Now, I dont have anything. I cant seem to keep someone I have known for many years entertained enough to stick around for more than an hour. Basically, my life has become shit. My social skills have diminished to nothing. I have one close friend, who I don't even see much.. I have even noticed that my parents dont talk to me anywhere near as much as they used to. I have no idea what direction to go in life. Please give me some advice, I dont know how much more of this I can take."



Can you specify it clearly . may be i can help you
chanyungclay
You will have to check you attitude and your words
medesignz
Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all...
rshanthakumar
Change is good! A man who is alone as done more wonderful things to the society than a man in a huge group.

Father of quantum mechanics is supposed to have spent 2 years in isolation to fathom the depths of quantum mechanics. I think God has brought you this to get great things out of you....
LittleBlackKitten
You are not being honest with yourself, true to yourself, and are not doing for yourself what your soul needs you to do. I see a strong overbearing person in your life, someone hindering you in some way, perhaps evens caring off your friends. Be a little more outgoing; get out more, go take a class somewhere, some hobby class, and make new friends. Don't just sit and wait for people to come to you or call you, contact them and be the nicest you that you can be. Mark my words; there will be a day your inaction will cost you greatly if you do not act on this.
mk12327
I think apple and zbale made very clear, concise and helpful advice. Both of their comments cover things from emotional point of view, psychological perspective, and possible solutions as well. I personally agree with what they had said and do wish that you could come back to frihost as often as you can to update us of your situation. We are always here to advice or help, whenever we can.
ankur209
Just Ponder upon Apple and zbale post...!!

Have u tried that or not..let us know dear...!!

we are here for each other...!! Wink
nah022
you don't have to think by this , you should know people you love and be beside them , and even scarify to them
zbale
nah022 wrote:
you don't have to think by this , you should know people you love and be beside them , and even scarify to them


Sorry, but what do you mean exactly by "scarify to them"?
macky
Hondaridr58 wrote:
Well, It seems as though I have lost my way in life. I used to be someone who had friends, had girls who wanted me and so forth. Now, I dont have anything. I cant seem to keep someone I have known for many years entertained enough to stick around for more than an hour. Basically, my life has become shit. My social skills have diminished to nothing. I have one close friend, who I don't even see much.. I have even noticed that my parents dont talk to me anywhere near as much as they used to. I have no idea what direction to go in life. Please give me some advice, I dont know how much more of this I can take.


Well all i can say is, this is truly natural. Sometimes we need to feel it and have this kind of

trials for us to learn how to value and appreciate all things that surrounds us. I was once a lonely guy

doing nothing everyday but to think why i should undergo to this kind of test. One day i notice what's

wrong, and that is i don't know how to value and appreciate even a simple one.
mk12327
macky wrote:
Hondaridr58 wrote:
Well, It seems as though I have lost my way in life. I used to be someone who had friends, had girls who wanted me and so forth. Now, I dont have anything. I cant seem to keep someone I have known for many years entertained enough to stick around for more than an hour. Basically, my life has become shit. My social skills have diminished to nothing. I have one close friend, who I don't even see much.. I have even noticed that my parents dont talk to me anywhere near as much as they used to. I have no idea what direction to go in life. Please give me some advice, I dont know how much more of this I can take.


Well all i can say is, this is truly natural. Sometimes we need to feel it and have this kind of

trials for us to learn how to value and appreciate all things that surrounds us. I was once a lonely guy

doing nothing everyday but to think why i should undergo to this kind of test. One day i notice what's

wrong, and that is i don't know how to value and appreciate even a simple one.


Just wondering, so what action did you undertake to overcome that shortfall?
eday2010
The internet and computers will do that to you. Get off this site and off your computer and go mingle with new people to hone your skills.
macky
try to ask for counseling it will do help you a lot...
medesignz
do you not like what you have become? rather than you having changed, have the people around you?
have you developed an addiction? why are you talking to us about it? suck it up, and go to the real world... best advice EVER
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