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When a friend you talk to everyday suddenly stops...





Denvis
Removed.
deanhills
Denvis wrote:
What does that mean?

Before we stopped talking, our conversations were the same as any other conversations we've had before so that eliminates the possibility of me, saying something wrong that might have offended them or said something that might have crossed some kind of invisible line.

We haven't seen each other for a while but we did keep a good online friendship. We're both very busy and that was the excuse we used to justify in a way, why we weren't talking, but I still see that person, articulate, I suppose with others. So maybe I have said something wrong...

Maybe it's not what I said but what I didn't do that caused this problem... It's probably a good idea to meet up, talk. Should I directly impose the question "have you been ignoring me lately? we don't talk as much as we use to" or would that sound forceful and give the impression that I'm attacking them in any way. Which I'm not. Should we meet up at all? We're both very busy (at least... to the extent of my knowledge they're busy and I am too) but if i did, would it seem spontaneous? That might leave an impression that something is up... I'm not usually spontaneous, I like everything planned, organized and tidy and they know that so it may raise suspicion...

Or maybe, I'm over thinking it and a little time off from each other is just normal. Whatever it is, I don't like it and I want it back the way it was.

What to do, what to do... I can't afford to lose another friend. Can anybody tell me what I can do to reconcile this friendship?
In my experience I would not force it. If you do cross paths naturally and spontaneously, it could be a good idea to say you should get together, and then make a date. Spontaneity being the key. Then just see where it goes without forcing it into any direction. People tend to always run if they feel too much focus on them and the discussion is heavy. Better to keep it easy and light and see where the friendship goes naturally and spontaneously.
menino
I think you should just talk to this friend and ask "Whats up?"

Just talk it over, and don't overthink it.
Also don't expect too much.
TerryMoke
I want to share one saying that "Once we both friends went to the hill.I sat down and my friend went to the other side.we had ropes tighten with our body and we both were dependent on each other.After some time i called him but there was no voice.Suddenly our rope broke but any how i was supported by a single piece and tried my best to reach at the top but when i reached another side my friend was down but with a rope in hi hand to support me." Some times friends silence is for you.
greeneyedtaxi
sometimes, the best thing to do is just wait.

it's no secret that you want to talk to this person again. the question is if he/she feels the same way.

i think it's a bad idea to ask the question you suggested, the person would probably be turned off.

i've been through that many times, (like right now for example) and made the mistake of asking a similar question. "is there something wrong?" was what i said. she replied that there was none, though the way she said it - and the way the conversation went after that - seemed to imply the exact opposite. we still haven't talked after that.

better wait until that person talks to you again.
dhani
If you are really good friends, you should be able to meet this friend and share your feelings with her, why would she be angry?
iyepes
I thought you concern is pretty normal until I reached the "I can't afford to lose another friend" point. It makes you to look desperate, ok, none wants to lose people, but, another????

Don't overthink that, some people just change of attitude, and don't put much attention to on-line behavior, people can be know better in the real world. Just come to that person desk and say hello, talk a little and then you will find out what really happens.
airh3ad
I think you should talk personally or visit your friends and ask whats going on any issues you made if there is.
mk12327
I agree with deanhills about not forcing it. Like the others had said, it is also not such a good idea to ask the question you suggested as well. Who knows, it could all be normal but by asking that it creates a sense of distrust or make the other person uncomfortable. There are many examples of people losing that sense of "closeness" with a friend, with some eventually overcoming it and others who slowly lost it totally. It always make people wonder, especially if the other person is a very close friend whom you used to share alot of secrets or had great times chatting together.

It could all be a temporary thing where something might have happened at home that caused the other person to be less vocal. These situations are easier to solve, cause all you need is to wait and see. For situations where there is something wrong with you yet the other person decides not to come clean with it, those are the worst. Because you never knew what went wrong, thus does not know how to improve it and eventually just lose it all.

Bottomline is not to try too hard, evaluate yourself (if you had been the one rejecting his/her invitations too many a times or that you had been giving an uninterested tone lately), and wait.
Denvis
Removed.
mk12327
It is always great to get replies. Cause it gives the community some feedback as to how things progressed ever since, or whether the topic starter came back to read the suggestions given by others.

Congrats with regards to getting the old friend back. I personally think that it takes good communication skills to be able to resolve issues such as people going overboard with jokes (which became almost like a personal insult). For example, when I person says something bad about you, instead of jumping straight to defend yourself, clarify why the person has that opinion. Most of the time, it could be a wrong first impression or a misunderstanding. Humans tend to either defend themselves strongly without finding out where the other party is coming from and because of that, the person felt more compelled to support their original view by giving more examples or sometimes worse still, bringing in other unrelated matters.

However, humans are afterall creatures with emotions. I do admit that sometimes I say things at the spur of the moment and later regret as I reflect over my words. Just try to think through before saying anything and you are likely to be quite safe.
blog_inforama
just pick up the phone and ask him to STOP being weird and everything! if you guys are a good friends he/she will obviously understand!
mk12327
blog_inforama wrote:
just pick up the phone and ask him to STOP being weird and everything! if you guys are a good friends he/she will obviously understand!


I don't think that will work out very well... From experiences, people tend to be defensive in such scenarios and most of the time it ended up in a quarrel...
ankitdatashn
First of all, don't assume anything if anyone's stops chatting or sms'ing and try to maintain a positive outlook. Many a times we break good friendships because of small misunderstandings. My take on this matter is that many a times the other person stops replying due to busy schedule and it has happened to me also both as being ignored by friend and ignoring anyone else. We might not ourselves know that we may be ignoring anyone but a small introspection helps to understand ourselves also better.

And busy schedule might not be the only reason coz some offending reasons also might be present. As happened with me in school days we promise friends to stay in touch for lifetime, but when I sent a little raunchy message the friend broke the friendship. So I guess meeting the friend in person can be the best option... Smile
macky
everything will be alright as long there is a good communication...
rjraaz
as you mentioned that you are too busy that may be of that. just wait for him or try to find him to talk personally. sometimes personal communication helps in
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