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Philosophy of self improvement





yagnyavalkya
there two words that you must forget and two words you must remember in life - "If Only" and "Next Time"
Actually one should not "keep saying next time" one who does that is better off saying "if only". But if one decides that next time is not going to be any better before trying it out then it is a different issue, which would mean that one does not see a scope for improvement which actually is the closest one can get to perfection. There is a ... See more legend about a person (Robert Bruce of_Scotland) who got inspired by spider trying to spin a web again and again. The adage is ""if at first you don't succeed, try try again." the truth is almost all of us fail and accept not every time but at least once in life. To know ones potential one should attempt at reaching saturation. Now here we would be talking about the rate at which the degree of success increases (which is infinitesimally small ) and not failure and success per se. I must say that regrets are margins. The quantification of these margins are dependent on ones endowment. One of the thing that determines the endowment in turn are the outcomes of past decisions made both by others and by the individual himself or herself. If endowment is high then the natural course will be towards improvement.
deanhills
For me the key to self-improvement is stradling the divide between what we should be doing, and what we are actually doing. Key to that is seeking help from others who have the ability to inspire a feeling of accountability in our lives. For example, some know that smoking is bad for them, yet do not stop smoking. Or some know obesity may take them to a whole range of chronic diseases, and they still carry on with a lifestyle that encourages obesity. Rather than going to people for therapy, or diet solutions, the most useful people would be the ones we could relate to unconditionally, and have enough trust in so that they can inspire us to be accountable for our self improvement. Once we have that accountability in perspective in would be much easier to find the right tools for self-improvement.
mshafiq
When you are in good position (health and wealth) then it is very easy to comment.
This was the saying from my friend to me.

And now I realized as it looks to me that my stars are in crises now a days and I am under depression.
Everything looks a matter of luck and fate.

Life is tough and apparently hard to advance and almost every-time there failure.
My friends used to tell me ".. You will get the job as you have good concepts..."
but instead all of my friends and class mates got good jobs and I am working on lower position since two and a half year.

so the the words 'if..' or 'next..' even have do not any worth to me.
Simply (now a days) I believe it is only luck/fate who drags the people from one position to an other.

We all are puppets in hands of some POWER (you may name it as GOD or Nature whatever according to your believes).

Please pray for me..
Thanks!!!
deanhills
mshafiq wrote:
When you are in good position (health and wealth) then it is very easy to comment.
This was the saying from my friend to me.

And now I realized as it looks to me that my stars are in crises now a days and I am under depression.
Everything looks a matter of luck and fate.

Life is tough and apparently hard to advance and almost every-time there failure.
My friends used to tell me ".. You will get the job as you have good concepts..."
but instead all of my friends and class mates got good jobs and I am working on lower position since two and a half year.

so the the words 'if..' or 'next..' even have do not any worth to me.
Simply (now a days) I believe it is only luck/fate who drags the people from one position to an other.

We all are puppets in hands of some POWER (you may name it as GOD or Nature whatever according to your believes).

Please pray for me..
Thanks!!!
Maybe you should take real care off the depression. Difficult to be positive when you are depressed and almost impossible to attract a really good job to yourself, as employers like to see positive and happy people. When you are depressed that is the time when you need to ask professional people for help so that you can help yourself. Maybe there is a little bit of luck involved, but in the end I think it is mostly up to yourself to make your own good luck. So maybe a medical doctor could be a good start just to check whether your depression could be physical. I had a friend who was unaware of how depressed he was until he saw a doctor, and the doctor treated him for depression. He could not believe the difference after six weeks, it was like night and day for him. Once you feel better and stronger it could be good to check in with your local library, as they may have free career counselling workshops or access to career counsellors who can advise and/or motivate you to find something worthy for you.

And no, you are not a puppet in anyone's hands. That is really a cop out. The power is in you. You just need to find the right tools to focus your power positively.
mshafiq
Thanks deanhills!

Yes you are right. I am thinking I should really consult doctor.
Although one try failed, my doctor prescribed some medicine and I tried it two times and could not afford anymore as the effects were very bad and hard to describe. It was like I felt I was sent to mental hospital forcefully.... and it looks I do not have energy + interest even in speaking/talking..

Anyway, I will consult doctor again.. and will request to refer to psychologist..

Anyway, thanks again
The-Nisk
Quote:

"Self improvement is masturbation. Now self destruction..." - Tyler Durden


It was inevitable.
ocalhoun
The-Nisk wrote:
Quote:

"Self improvement is masturbation. Now self destruction..." - Tyler Durden


It was inevitable.

Yet, how would you complete the statement?
mshafiq
Now a days I am in back-home. I came back to serve my parents, esp. my father (90+ years old) who is suffering from paralysis.

We live in small city and there no opportunities/jobs for me (Bsc./MSc Engineering). So I am very worried in this regard too.

Anyway, let us see what happens.
Until now life has been collecting more and more responsibilities, leaving almost no charm.
The-Nisk
ocalhoun wrote:
The-Nisk wrote:
Quote:

"Self improvement is masturbation. Now self destruction..." - Tyler Durden


It was inevitable.

Yet, how would you complete the statement?


Go and read Fight Club.
pentangeli
"Next Time" I'm bound to fail. "If Only" my opponent keeps thinking like this, it'll be even easier to obliterate him than I have already anticipated.
mshafiq
Did you observe, people having good career can deliver a speech about how a man can be successful.

That is why it is said in my some cultures -- translaed

'JAIDAY GHAR DAANEY, ODAY NIANEY WEE SIANEY' -- PUNJABI
hERE IS ITS TRANSLATION,

IF SOME ONE IS WEALTHY, EVEN THE CHILDREN IN THEIR HOMES ARE WISE
ocalhoun
The-Nisk wrote:
ocalhoun wrote:
The-Nisk wrote:
Quote:

"Self improvement is masturbation. Now self destruction..." - Tyler Durden


It was inevitable.

Yet, how would you complete the statement?


Go and read Fight Club.

I wasn't aware that it was also a book...
I'll have to look for that book. If one of my favorite movies was based off of it, then I should enjoy the book.
liljp617
ocalhoun wrote:
The-Nisk wrote:
ocalhoun wrote:
The-Nisk wrote:
Quote:

"Self improvement is masturbation. Now self destruction..." - Tyler Durden


It was inevitable.

Yet, how would you complete the statement?


Go and read Fight Club.

I wasn't aware that it was also a book...
I'll have to look for that book. If one of my favorite movies was based off of it, then I should enjoy the book.


Probably. Unfortunately it rarely works the opposite way (book to movie) Sad
ocalhoun
liljp617 wrote:

Probably. Unfortunately it rarely works the opposite way (book to movie) Sad

Kinda confused about what you mean there...
Do you mean that you suspect that the book is simply a novelization of the movie?
I hope not... that kind of book rarely adds anything of value.

Books that movies are based off of though, are usually very good.
If I find that book, I'll just have to read the copyright date... if it predates the movie, it's worth reading; if it came after the movie, it probably is a waste of time.
agbor
There is hardly anyone that has never been hurt in one way or the other either by a close associate that constantly slanders you and your family, a person that is harmful, depressive and takes pleasure in hurting every person that crosses his or her way. You happen to be a very recent victim of an important person who has destroyed your reputation; a leader or boss who had violated you sexually, an employer who dismissed you from your job without a justifiable reason, a teacher and examiner who poorly graded you, your partner who had an affair, a partner that divorced you against your will and hurt you by moving in with another man or woman, a friend, colleague or parent who let you down, an unloving parent who never loved you and never associated with you as a child, a spouse who told lies about you to your children after divorce, a girlfriend who jilted you for another man after your have spent your life income on her, a boyfriend that abandoned you and never related with you further because of another friend, a negligent parent, a parent sued by his or her child to child’s welfare services and libelled you of child molestation, a man who killed your children by motor accident as a result of driving while drunk, a man who raped your young daughter, a parent who maltreated you as a child. A partner who mistreated you physically and emotionally for several years, and then she turned around and lied against you of abuse, a partner that got the police to arrest you on the grounds of false accusation of physical abuse when you never at any time raised your hand on her, a house owner evicted you from your residence even when you never violated the tenants agreement.
I have more on this issue just follow me anywhere i post...
Bikerman
And the point is?
That just seems to be an unrelated list of bad things that people can do to other people with no connecting thread or logic. Sure, people do bad things, this is not news.
What about the mother who loved you even when you were an idiot; the father who worked overtime so that you could have a nice present at Christmas; the wife who cried with you when your father died; the sister who tells everyone who great you are; the boss who gave you the day off because you were looking tired; the teacher who gave up his own time to help you after school; the friend or colleague who went out of their way to give you a lift for a fortnight when you crashed your car; the man who found your missing two year old in the supermarket and kept her calm whilst searching you out as you went frantic; the work colleague who did your work as well as her own when you left early to attend a funeral; the policeman who stopped you when you were speeding but didn't give you a ticket and the landlord who let the rent slide for a month when they could see you were in difficulties?
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