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Please Help I love 2 great Men





Lizzy83
hey so heres my story i love 2 guys and they both love me back...idk what to do the first one ive been with on and off for 1 year and the second its been 9 months we have been talking...im so confused i have sorta let them know how i feel because i hate feeling the way i have confused and frustrated that i cant pick one...heres the thing i have 2 children i am i am 7 years older than the one ive been with for 1 yr and i am 1 yr younger than the one ive been talking to for 9 months...they are both wonderful men that have treated me great yes we have our ups and downs but they are so good to me and they really care for me...now the one that is 7 yrs younger than me been staying (living) with me for the past 3 weeks i love it...we have spoken about making our commitment a little more than just dating I mean come on he practically lives with me...the other one as well has issues with making me his girlfriend although he says he loves me and we have spoken about a future 2gehter...whats a girl to do i really do love them both each have something that i want in a man...and i dont want to hurt any of them...i feel more of a future with one of them than the other...but im so scared to let go of either one!!! PLEASE HELP...Thnx Lizzy
JessieF
No one can tell you which one to go with. : ) You say you care for both. Trust yourself, you know which one you love as a friend, and which one you want for a partner. You can care for someone else without having a romantic relationship.
zacky
Lizzy83 wrote:
hey so heres my story i love 2 guys and they both love me back...idk what to do the first one ive been with on and off for 1 year and the second its been 9 months we have been talking...im so confused i have sorta let them know how i feel because i hate feeling the way i have confused and frustrated that i cant pick one...heres the thing i have 2 children i am i am 7 years older than the one ive been with for 1 yr and i am 1 yr younger than the one ive been talking to for 9 months...they are both wonderful men that have treated me great yes we have our ups and downs but they are so good to me and they really care for me...now the one that is 7 yrs younger than me been staying (living) with me for the past 3 weeks i love it...we have spoken about making our commitment a little more than just dating I mean come on he practically lives with me...the other one as well has issues with making me his girlfriend although he says he loves me and we have spoken about a future 2gehter...whats a girl to do i really do love them both each have something that i want in a man...and i dont want to hurt any of them...i feel more of a future with one of them than the other...but im so scared to let go of either one!!! PLEASE HELP...Thnx Lizzy


Well in that case, honestly it's really pretty hard to decide. Of course, we all know that your the only one

knows who is the right one. Who is the perfect guy for you.

Me either having a prob. which is which... Instead i will give you a clarity to the situation....

Uhm but first may i know how old are your children are? and are these guys both single without children?

Now let's point out the thing....

The "guy1" who had relationship with you for almost one year on and off.
The "guy2" who talk with you for almost 9 months.

Some old folks said, "You will not love someone else, if you really love the present person with you."

Honestly you shouldn't been confused. Why? because your into relationship with guy1 and your just having some chat/talk to these guy2 which perfectly clear that it's only a simple conversation without relationship.

Now if you feel that your getting totally get into it to these guy2, well you should pick him up. Coz if you really love guy1, you know at first that it's wrong to love someone else or let me say, care to others feeling.

About to the thing that you don't want to hurt any one of them. Well i will tell you, it's impossible to happen. When you love, your ready to be love and to be hurted as they say.
macky
Lizzy83 wrote:
hey so heres my story i love 2 guys and they both love me back...idk what to do the first one ive been with on and off for 1 year and the second its been 9 months we have been talking...im so confused i have sorta let them know how i feel because i hate feeling the way i have confused and frustrated that i cant pick one...heres the thing i have 2 children i am i am 7 years older than the one ive been with for 1 yr and i am 1 yr younger than the one ive been talking to for 9 months...they are both wonderful men that have treated me great yes we have our ups and downs but they are so good to me and they really care for me...now the one that is 7 yrs younger than me been staying (living) with me for the past 3 weeks i love it...we have spoken about making our commitment a little more than just dating I mean come on he practically lives with me...the other one as well has issues with making me his girlfriend although he says he loves me and we have spoken about a future 2gehter...whats a girl to do i really do love them both each have something that i want in a man...and i dont want to hurt any of them...i feel more of a future with one of them than the other...but im so scared to let go of either one!!! PLEASE HELP...Thnx Lizzy


just choose one guy. how? by practically facing the truth that you can live on this planet having both of them happily as they're your boy friends or what ever.

If i'm on your situation, i will choose the guy who is 7 years younger than you. Why? he is already there. You don't know if this second guy who talk with you will serious you in the entire days beside you.
menino
You have to choose once guy who you feel you love the most, and let the other one go.
Sometimes its not all about you. Smile Sometimes its best for the other people, and sometimes it works out best for everyone.

Good luck!
deanhills
Looks as though you have already committed yourself to one, which is maybe unfair to him, as you have unresolved issues with regard to letting the second one go. If you can't make a decision about the second one, you may need to be honest with the first one. If you really cannot say "no" to the second guy, maybe you should not be living with the first one either. If you carry on like this there is of course a good chance that you can end up losing both of them, or who knows, the two confronting one another?
dhani
You don¨t have to choose one you know. You can choose both, that is called polyamory
and is a great thing. Monogamous is not the only way Smile
apple
Which guy is the best influence for the kids?
From reading your post, I assume since you care for both of them you'd be happier with either one if you had to chose.
Another poster suggested that you not chose and stay with both of them.
While you may care for both of them and may entertain the idea, keep in mind that not many people are willing to share.

I would suggest you make a list of the qualities you like in both and then make another list of what you want for and from the rest of your life. Based on both lists chose the one who is more likely to help you achieve what your life goals are.

Don't do the normal thing and chose which one makes your heart beat faster, cause should the 'magic' fade, there must be something there to keep the relationship together.
zbale
Like "apple" I would be thinking about the kids, especially if you think that the two men are good choices as far as you are concerned.

If it's a real choice, both options are good options, so "making the right choice" is not a matter of "knowing" what's best. It's a matter of making a choice and making sure it stays right through and through.

Good luck! Keep us posted if you need to discuss it more.
the-guide
Hopefully you have great good luck in your selection. Smile
jilbs
Lizzy83, In life, there is a word called Decision. You have to decide which one you love most. You will not be happy your entire life if you will not let go of the other.
apple
Lizzy are you gonna return and update us??
Greatking
Deep down in your heart you know the one you love.

Just find that peace and quite, and let your heart speak to you through prayer.

There is only one that you can love and be with anyway.
ankitdatashn
Though cannot help you much in your problem as the Indian thinking is conservative so I wish you all the best in whatever choice you make... Smile
dhani
I think you should choose them both...yes its possible..!!!
LittleBlackKitten
If one is having issues committing to a basic relationship, he will have trouble committing to a marriage. If you want to deal with a guy who is never 100% there for you, then feel free...
metalfreek
I think guy1 is the one that you should be with but it is your decision in the end.
Insanity
Make a list of pros and cons and go from there.
nam_siddharth
deanhills wrote:
Looks as though you have already committed yourself to one, which is maybe unfair to him, as you have unresolved issues with regard to letting the second one go. If you can't make a decision about the second one, you may need to be honest with the first one. If you really cannot say "no" to the second guy, maybe you should not be living with the first one either. If you carry on like this there is of course a good chance that you can end up losing both of them, or who knows, the two confronting one another?

I agree with deanhills. If you love both of them, then you love first guy too. Since you are already living with the first guy, you will not hurt anyone if you tell the other guy that you are already in relationship with a guy. But if you chose the other guy over the first one, you will definitely hurt the first guy.
You must know that no one is perfect. If you reject the first guy just because the 2nd one is slightly better then you must be ready to be rejected later in your relationship if your partner find a better girl.
nigam
you must only choose 1 guy whom you love most...it is very unfair on their part that you have secrets with them...i know its pretty hard to loose one of them...but you have too...you listen to your heart, you will know who truly cares and love you...
zbale
It's been a few months now. Has anything changed? Did you make a decision?
eday2010
Propose a threesome with the two guys; that they should share you together in bed. The one who accepts is the one to keep because he is the more open and adventurous one. Of course, if both accept, you are still in the same spot except that you have one hell of a fun night ahead of you. And if they both decline, then you are still in the same boat.

But hopefully only one loves you enough to agree to share you in a FMM threesome.
infoxt
what you feel is not love. it is a term called infatuation and there is no way you can be in love with 2guys at a time. There are conditions or circumstances guiding your mind towards both of them. You surely have more interest in one to the other just that you are not content with what he has and decide to look for a supplement. lol be careful
zbale
infoxt wrote:
what you feel is not love. it is a term called infatuation and there is no way you can be in love with 2guys at a time. There are conditions or circumstances guiding your mind towards both of them. You surely have more interest in one to the other just that you are not content with what he has and decide to look for a supplement. lol be careful


Interesting discussion. We should rename the whole thread: "Define Love". Anybody here think one can be in love with two people at the same time? And do you see a difference between "loving" and "being in love"?
zbale
eday2010 wrote:
Propose a threesome with the two guys; that they should share you together in bed. The one who accepts is the one to keep because he is the more open and adventurous one. Of course, if both accept, you are still in the same spot except that you have one hell of a fun night ahead of you. And if they both decline, then you are still in the same boat.

But hopefully only one loves you enough to agree to share you in a FMM threesome.


Interesting rereading of King Solomon. Not sure if it helps, though.
macky
loving two person is really really bad, you should choose only one dear... the one who really makes

you happy and will surely grow old with you... it is really true that if you choose the one and left the

other one someone will cry... But, it is reality... no one can ever have a two person in his/her life

just pray and asked for God's help will surely lead you to a good path way...
mukesh
Lizzy

According to me You should to decide which one is good friend and which one is your partner because we donot know about nature.
clan4
I think what you have for them is lust and not love. Love is most often wrongly used by all and sundry in place of lust or infatuation. I advise you make up your mind for the one you truely want else you end up loosing both.
manalone
Follow ur heart! That's the best option u have. U must love one more than the other. Chk whom u re more compatible with. U need undastanding n friendship more. Wish u d best. Follow ur heart and if ur intentions are pure, u will make d right choice.
Lizzy83 wrote:
hey so heres my story i love 2 guys and they both love me back...idk what to do the first one ive been with on and off for 1 year and the second its been 9 months we have been talking...im so confused i have sorta let them know how i feel because i hate feeling the way i have confused and frustrated that i cant pick one...heres the thing i have 2 children i am i am 7 years older than the one ive been with for 1 yr and i am 1 yr younger than the one ive been talking to for 9 months...they are both wonderful men that have treated me great yes we have our ups and downs but they are so good to me and they really care for me...now the one that is 7 yrs younger than me been staying (living) with me for the past 3 weeks i love it...we have spoken about making our commitment a little more than just dating I mean come on he practically lives with me...the other one as well has issues with making me his girlfriend although he says he loves me and we have spoken about a future 2gehter...whats a girl to do i really do love them both each have something that i want in a man...and i dont want to hurt any of them...i feel more of a future with one of them than the other...but im so scared to let go of either one!!! PLEASE HELP...Thnx Lizzy
macky
in all aspects it is not right to love two men or women in one lives... that is why we have the freedom to

choose of whom we are going to loved for the rest of our lives...
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