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Letting Go.... :(





zacky
It's very hard to let somebody letting go, knowing that she will never be yours again. I want to share this story to you guys and i have one question and i hope you can give an advice and i will appreciate it very much... Smile

I have a girl friend on the province and i'm staying on the city. It's really to far and we have to what we called "Long Distance Relationship". We commit relationship even though we know from each other that it is very hard push our selves to work it out since i'm busy on my business and school while she's working there. After one year and two months, we decided to give a space from each other. I told to her that she's free to what she wants to do since we just meet once in a month and i don't give her the chance to feel the love that she deserves from me. After 6 six months without communication, i tested her old number, then i said "How are you?" and after she replied to me, she said she's getting married 9 days from the day that i called. I was so shock and i said "Congratulations.." then she replied that she wants to see me before the wedding, but i never communicate to her again.

Now my questions that still bothers me, Why she wants to see me even she's getting married? Do you think guys she still loves me or she will just give me a farewell words? I decided not to reply coz i don't want to bother her marriage, coz sometimes i'm stupid and i might said that i still love her and stop the marriage. I don't want to ruin her marriage coz i'm happy for her. I didn't give her a chance to feel the love that she always ask for and i think that guy could give it to her... It is very hard for me knowing that she will never be mine..forever..

thanks for reading...Smile
David_Pardy
If she wants to see you, it's because she considers you a friend and someone whom she can trust.

Let go any 'feelings' you may have for her... This is a choice, not something that just happens. You have to choose to turn away from any thoughts you might have about being with her. I once dealt with a similar problem for a couple of years, except in that case I had been led on from the start. Nonetheless, it was still my own fault that it all was dragged out.

Go and see her! But don't go with any expectations. Be a friend to her, and nothing more. If she wants to remain in contact, do so, but don't allow anything to progress further than that! I'm not saying she is an untrustworthy person, but it is important for both of you to respect each others' boundaries and to avoid any sort of temptation to arise.
Joshwa
If she wants to see you, it means she still cares for you. Time is likely the only thing that will permanently heal any sort of bad feelings that you are having. I would visit her to catch up, but do not go with expectations or ulterior motives. If you truly do still love her, then you would want the best for her. Perhaps the best for her is not with you?

It is probably one of the most painful ideas to consider, but such is life. Relish your time with her, but be prepared to move on in life. If it truly does bother you and you don't think you can see her without "breaking down", then I would strongly suggest that you do not contact her... the lack of contact will allow those emotional ties to break, albeit slowly.

Best wishes!
programitv
If I were you, I would get back in contact with her. If she would have wanted something more from you, she would have get in contact with you before. I think she just wants to talk to you as she trusts and appreciates you, it may be hurting for her if you don`t give any sign, and maybe even more hurting thinking that you interpreted her behaviour as she had in mind to ruin her marriage/cheat on her husband.
zacky
Thank you so much guys..

I really appreciate, it helps me a lot. Actually i just came up into a dirty mind about maybe she would cheat her husband because i really don't know what to say to her.

I mean i didn't expect that she wants to see me after all those months.

But again, thanks to you guys, it helps not only now but also in the future in case i encounter the same situation again.. Smile)))))
deanhills
zacky wrote:
Now my questions that still bothers me, Why she wants to see me even she's getting married? Do you think guys she still loves me or she will just give me a farewell words?
Anything is possible. Maybe she does not know herself, perhaps she just got chanelled into your former easy wavelength and friendship with one another. Maybe she wanted to go down memory lane with you. Maybe it was a farewell? What difference can it really make?

By not communicating with her however, you really did the right thing. If the situation had been reversed and you were on the verge of getting married, would you have acted similarly, i.e. ask a former girlfriend that you bumped into by accident on the phone whether you can see her?
priyank
i think you sholuld have met her
and listen to her onces wht she had to say
paskifire
You should listen to her because it might bring you peace of mind
BigGeek
paskifire wrote:
You should listen to her because it might bring you peace of mind


I agree, if the two of you were close, and it ended on a good note, then closure is a good thing. Of course for guys there is always that little bit of hope that you might get a farewell love making session Embarassed

But those guy things aside, being able to say good bye and tell her to her face that you love her and want the best for her, and to let her have the opportunity to let you know her feelings, all these are good things, and the core of what love is about.

I'm old, and I've been through numerous loves, heart breaks, losses, and friends, and getting the chance to share your true feelings, and leave someone with true unconditional love is the greatest gift you can ever give them and yourself. Very Happy

Nothing purifies your soul more than letting go with your whole heart, and no matter how broken that heart is, being able to put it aside and honestly in your heart hope, wish, and pray for the best for them is the greatest gift, and it is more powerful form of love than all the closeness, sex and commitment in the world. Surprised

Even harder than letting go of your love, and knowing you will never see them again, is to say good bye to someone you love very much knowing they are dying, and you will truly never ever see them again. When they are gone, it hurts so ****** bad you think you are gonna die, and you wish more than anything to have said all the things that were in your heart, and to let them know what a wonderful person they were. So take that chance and let them know, because you never ever know when that chance might not ever ever be there again for you.

You guys are really great, and really mature in all your responses, hats off to all of you, you are evolved souls in this world, and it is so great to see......THANKS Very Happy Laughing
deanhills
BigGeek wrote:

But those guy things aside, being able to say good bye and tell her to her face that you love her and want the best for her, and to let her have the opportunity to let you know her feelings, all these are good things, and the core of what love is about.
I'm not so sure about that. Guaranteed, when he sees her, there will be the old familiar camaraderie that will flow instantly, and that could be misleading. Also, there is an issue of trust here. What she does to the other guy, she can easily do to him too. Say she decides to drop the other guy and call off the wedding, and they start to date, and become serious enough to decide to get married. How does he know that she may not phone the other guy on the eve of her wedding?
macky
maybe she still love you but i think you shouldn't see her anymore...
menino
I was about to reply, to this post, that you should see her, and hear what she has to say, and probably get some closure out of it, but I realise that you had posted it in april 21st of this year, and its a bit late to reply anyways, but just giving my opinion anyways.... Laughing
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