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SHe wants it or not?





andysart380
hey im having trouble deciding if she want it or not. she puts off a few good signs when we kinda mess around but when we arent im still a little nervous. i dont get why im more comfortable with sexual activitys

so my questions.

1. how do i make it more comfortable when we are just hanging out because she seems like a lot of fun

and 2. whats the real sure go to sign when we are messing around

help me out here im not trying to find out how to nail this girl thats not what i want..i just dont want to keep her waiting if i miss a sign that she gives me to go for it...i guess
tingkagol
Is this a friend or a girlfriend?
RubySlasher
Um she'll have to tell you herself. In words, hopefully. If you do something and she never told you to do it and she wants to make trouble, she could accuse you of rape. :S
ponda
hey im having trouble deciding if she want it or not. she puts off a few good signs when we kinda mess around but when we arent im still a little nervous. i dont get why im more comfortable with sexual activitys

so my questions.

1. how do i make it more comfortable when we are just hanging out because she seems like a lot of fun

and 2. whats the real sure go to sign when we are messing around

help me out here im not trying to find out how to nail this girl thats not what i want..i just dont want to keep her waiting if i miss a sign that she gives me to go for it...i guess
-----------------------------------------------------

Define "it".

Um she'll have to tell you herself. In words, hopefully. If you do something and she never told you to do it and she wants to make trouble, she could accuse you of rape.

Is this a friend or a girlfriend?

this is all good advice too.
zbale
Hey, andysart380, first of all, keep the faith: expressing what one wants and understanding what the other wants in a couple are among the most difficult, and yet the most common things in life. And this is just assuming that there is a clear thing that s/he wants, which is not necessarily the case (people may wish different things at different moments, or have conflicting desires, and that's all right).

As with most communication difficulties, my advice would be this: find a way to address the fact that there is a communication difficulty. In other words, make it not your own puzzle, make it something you try to solve together. A number of men do it in a not so nice, non-cooperative way (e.g. "Listen, baby, it's time you decide / you tell me what you want, etc."). But since, as you mention, what matters to you is your relationship with her, not "nailing" her, the best way is to work it out together.

For instance, you could tell her that you need her to help you understand how she sees things, and what her expectations are regarding various things (isn't it what you want, after all?). You don't have to be specific right away, and there may be actually other things that you might want to understand better. An important thing is that when you reach the subject, you make it clear that, as far as you are concerned, whatever she want is legitimate. That way she will understand what you were saying in your post, which is that you are not trying to do or not do something specific but you want the two of you to understand one each other better, that you do not want to risk forcing her to do something she doesn't want to do and you don't want to miss something important if you are both willing to go for it but (quite understandably), find it hard to express it.

Couple communication can take years to "feel right" (and for some people it never does). This should not discourage you but rather remind you that, as I believe you sense from what you write, developing communication and developing intimacy are one and the same thing.

I hope this helps. Good luck in any case.
jwellsy
If you can figure this out, write a book!
airh3ad
Better to ask her what she want and need, i think it will help you a lot rather than guessing somethings.
greeneyedtaxi
just remember: if you start doing it, it's very difficult to go back to the state where you were before.
mshafiq
If she is not girl friend of anyone, you may proceed gently provided
you can figure out YES to the following question.
- Can she ask for a life time partnership?

In other words, if you know that she does not have any bonds with someone else, she might be OK with you.

BUT BUT BUT

remember, some times, girls THEN do not let the people go anywhere.
So you may have to stick with her for ever.

ON THE OTHER HAND
If she has some bonds with someone else and just want some nice time with you but do not want to show 'I am a bad girl', you may go for it but again, simply ask her.............
andysart380
greeneyedtaxi wrote:
just remember: if you start doing it, it's very difficult to go back to the state where you were before.



see i have no problem not having sex...i got so much of it i can go forever without it now its really nothing to me i dont care for it anymore if its not with somebody im truley attracted to.

she is now my girlfriend i asked her out last week but im still having mixed feelings...

im greatfull for all the advice ive now got more ways to approach this
mshafiq
Eventually things find their way themselves.

So, it will be true for your case too.
Just keep the stuff normal really normal not extra/ultra normal and you will get good results/happiness.
I may suggest a movie '500 days of Summer' in this regard too.

Thanks!
zacky
andysart380 wrote:
hey im having trouble deciding if she want it or not. she puts off a few good signs when we kinda mess around but when we arent im still a little nervous. i dont get why im more comfortable with sexual activitys

so my questions.

1. how do i make it more comfortable when we are just hanging out because she seems like a lot of fun

and 2. whats the real sure go to sign when we are messing around

help me out here im not trying to find out how to nail this girl thats not what i want..i just dont want to keep her waiting if i miss a sign that she gives me to go for it...i guess


you make me laugh as to what you are saying.. no offense..

first i want to know if your serious or not to this girl.. what i mean is serious relationship without

playing games on your mind.. coz it will lead you to what plan or techniques or attitudes you should

come up every time your get together, hanging out or what..

I will answer your questions..

1. first the key word to success was comes from you.. Comfortable and Fun..

well do the same thing(being funny).. or just be your self.. Making comfortable a person who with

you is very easy.. You don't have to do an in-depth techniques t accomplish it.. JUST RESPECT HER.. that's only the phrase you need

to know for making her comfortable.. coz if you respect her then all things will come up to good result..

2. lastly SIGN..

well dude there's a lot of sign that she mights giving to you as a signal.. now according to what you are saying that you don't want

her to keep on waiting, well i promise to you, girls are good in terms of waiting especially if she really likes you..
andysart380
to the reply above.....she was playing games with me...a lot...and i didnt like it so we are not going out.. but now i know she still likes me because she is still talking to me in a civil manner i just cant read this girl
Zsupermassive
Hey andy hows it going now?
apple
andy how old are you both?
mshafiq
Let us know if there is any update in the relationship.
If you have come across the situation, what you wanted, let us know how it HAPPENED.

Was that a part of planning or it was just simultaneous or more precisely naturally happened phenomenon.

We all are waiting for your feedback - do not think some people asked 'whats up', actually they may think one is asked from all of us...
macky
you should analyze first the situation before doing anything... why not to talk to her first before

anything else..you should try to asked and talk to that person first...
zbale
andysart380 wrote:
to the reply above.....she was playing games with me...a lot...and i didnt like it so we are not going out.. but now i know she still likes me because she is still talking to me in a civil manner i just cant read this girl


Hey "andysart380",

thanks for the updates. Looks like it was the right move -- especially the kind of nice guy you obviously are, you don't want to get into something complicated with someone who is playing games (even unwittingly, as some people do -- they don't necessarily mean harm, but it can turn out to be harmful, or sometimes just too much to bear). Many people (especially from the opposite gender of our own, whichever it may be) are hard to read when it comes to personal matters but it sure is good that the two of you are still talking, and it certainly testifies that you're a good man because if you weren't, she wouldn't (and you wouldn't either, btw). I hope you find the right person quickly.

All the best.
mshafiq
However no reply yet from the initiator.
He he would please update, it would be very interesting.
Probably admin will close this topic soon.

-- new posting ---Huh .. This is really not easy. Everybody will tell from its own experience that may or may not be applicable in your case.
The straight forward approach can be just to ask what she feels. Second approach is to take the initiation step yourself. Third approach can be to let the time decide.
Generally if both of you have a common friend that may resolve this issue. By the way were you able to sleep with her or NOT YET. Why I am asking, it is always tough to go for any action FIRST TIME.
As mentioned by other users, we would appreciate any update on this matter.
Thanks!
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