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ATTENTION!!!!!!





Parkour_Jarrod
Ahahah got yours Razz

No but seriously

Attention, we all crave it, but why? i do not know... all i know is how my life has been changed by the obsessive need for it humans have...

Their are two kinds of attention the good and the bad... Positive and Negative

When i was 8 my mum and my step-dad (never knew my real father, cept i know is he a schizophrenic drug addict) split up, i moved from Sydney NSW Australia to Brisbane QLD Australia, a 1000km move... ever since then I've never had the attention of a male father figure all through my teen years and me being a male its been hard... ive missed alot.

Then because the attention i get from my own mother is mostly negative based because of her quick temper and high anger, i distanced myself from her to stop the negative attention, which in turn means i have no source of attention as i have no siblings...

So where do i go for attention?

The internet! Runescape to be precise, every single day when i came home from school, i would jump on the computer and start playing, the Runescape community was my parental input...

After Runescape, i just browsed around communities, doing different things...

How it can affect your life in a negative way


Okay 2008-2009 i had a girlfriend, but, because she was the first person to give me positive attention in something like 8 years i became... clingy without even realising but because for once in my (miserable) life i had been getting positive attention from someone who wasn't in the net, my mind automatically became dependent. This has screwed me up badly because it ended up being the driving cause of our (mutual) breakup


So i now ask you, as a discussion, why do we need attention form our peers,co-workers, and most of all our parents? why are we driven to these things?

Also, how has lack of/too much attention affected you?
Marcuzzo
this is a delicate subject.
getting too much negative attention isn't good, but too much positive attention can bust your B.lls too?
I have a mother that doesn't leave me be.... and a father that only started caring since I moved out... and I'm 28 going on 29 by now.

attention..., getting the right "dosage" is only for the happy few I would say.

I all can say is, be your own man, take your responsabilities and if it gets to it be the best father you can ever be and all the rest doesn't matter.
don't become bitter and never be dependent.
and don't cling on anything as nothing is permanent.
Parkour_Jarrod
Good responce, i hope we can get more people in so we can have a stimulated discussion
desonium
Parkour_Jarrod wrote:
Good responce, i hope we can get more people in so we can have a stimulated discussion


I read something in my science lesson about your personality.
In the article was told that your personality is created by your environment. So If you only got negative attention and never positive attention it isn't your fault that your are so negative grown-up. But it also said that your personality can always be changed by your environment so when you met positive people like your ex, you can become positive too. You must see your first girlfriend as a new positive start and if I was you I should try to meet more people like your ex.

It doesn't take back that you never had a real father. That must be horrible Confused I can't talk about that point or even help, because I have never had to deal with such thing Confused

good luck with becoming positive Wink I am sure you can do it!!!
deanhills
Parkour_Jarrod wrote:
Ahahah got yours Razz

No but seriously

Attention, we all crave it, but why? i do not know... all i know is how my life has been changed by the obsessive need for it humans have...
I was watching a movie tonight, "Anna and the King". Lots of wisdom went into the dialogues and one that stuck with me was the difference between seeing the world the way we are and seeing the world how it really is. Wisdom starts when we can get past seeing the world the way we are.

Not all people crave attention. But maybe all of us do go through phases where we are needy and wanting attention. It is then when we could easily mirror our own neediness on the rest of the world, or even on our families along the lines of what others owe us and should be doing for us, instead of embracing that neediness and taking responsibility for it as our own. It may be the moment that we have to go right deep into ourselves to figure out exactly what it is that we need that we are not getting, and what we need to do in order to fix it if we can. Not an easy task. Probably the essence of what life's struggles are about.

If there is any opportunity for you, perhaps you need to see a therapist to help you think through how you view the world around you. So that someone professional can point out the pitfalls in your own thinking. The answer does not lie in lack of attention from others, but lack of your own attention on yourself and mirrorring that on others. If you can't value and appreciate yourself properly as a whole person, no one else can do it for you, and you are going to continue to feel something is missing in your life. Physical fitness is also excellent medicine, as being strong and fit, usually gives you plenty of discipline and is good for your own esteem. As well as gives you plenty of good serotonins to make you feel good.

Bottomline, my experience is that the answer always lies with ourselves and we can easily be distracted by mirroring that which we perceive to be short in our lives on others.
Parkour_Jarrod
Hey dean, I've been looking forward to when you post, i knew you'd give me something to think about and make a stimulating discussion.


Quote:
I was watching a movie tonight, "Anna and the King". Lots of wisdom went into the dialogues and one that stuck with me was the difference between seeing the world the way we are and seeing the world how it really is. Wisdom starts when we can get past seeing the world the way we are.



That is true, but i do see the world the way it really is, at least i believe i do. Though when you say "seeing the world how it really is" and "get past seeing the world the way we are." I find it contradicting slightly. To see the world the way it really is we have to see it through out own eyes, and comprehend it with out mind, so no matter what we are seeing it the way we are.

What i can see, is that your saying, we have to see that everything is different nothing is the same, which i know. Their used to be a time where difference didn't matter, then all of a sudden it did, creating war, religion and racism/sexism.


Quote:
Not all people crave attention. But maybe all of us do go through phases where we are needy and wanting attention. It is then when we could easily mirror our own neediness on the rest of the world, or even on our families along the lines of what others owe us and should be doing for us, instead of embracing that neediness and taking responsibility for it as our own. It may be the moment that we have to go right deep into ourselves to figure out exactly what it is that we need that we are not getting, and what we need to do in order to fix it if we can. Not an easy task. Probably the essence of what life's struggles are about.



See, here i disagree and stand by that all humans crave attention of SOME description or people wouldn't have dreams or wants. People want to achieve something in life so that their peers will see that. Others want to so they go into the history or record books, others just do it to make their family proud.

YES i understand that your saying that because i think like this, that i'm assuming everyone thinks like this. For 99% of the human population in the first and second world countries it is true... The only minority i can think of it may not be is a Buddhist monk or some other religious figure (yet i guess thats still void as they look for attention from a being above).

Can you honestly say you don't want any kind of attention?


Quote:
If there is any opportunity for you, perhaps you need to see a therapist to help you think through how you view the world around you. So that someone professional can point out the pitfalls in your own thinking. The answer does not lie in lack of attention from others, but lack of your own attention on yourself and mirrorring that on others. If you can't value and appreciate yourself properly as a whole person, no one else can do it for you, and you are going to continue to feel something is missing in your life. Physical fitness is also excellent medicine, as being strong and fit, usually gives you plenty of discipline and is good for your own esteem. As well as gives you plenty of good serotonins to make you feel good.


Ahh this... uhm, yer i have gone to medical people about my issues, AS a few year back i was suicidal, but im over it thats why i used it as an EXAMPLE in my above statement... everyone keeps taking the personal part of it and making it the entire idea, when in fact it is not, it was just an example.[/quote]
azoundria
Like most everything, the real reason is biological.

Without getting their attention, how on Earth is one supposed to attract a mate?

Thus, those who want attention have a much greater chance at reproduction.

Now, I'm not sure how similar this is to the human desire for importance. Anyone have any insight into this?
Crinoid
I believe that this is because social conditioning since early childhood: one (everyone in reality) is special and entitled to attention, understanding, support and inconsiderate behavior must be tolerated... just because. Ones have rights to express themselves, others have only obligations to understand, support and smooth angles. Culture dependent, maybe. Where children are involved in everyday life and bear own load of support, help and mutual understanding, and fits of temper are not tolerated, there is no need in demanding attention. If you want attention - join the family group in basic life supporting activity, it will be accepted with a smile and appreciation, and you will be helped in own turn. But throw tantrums to semi-dead from tiredness parent is pretty much pointless and simply not nice. One has to respect if not others, then itself, and learn to live in peace with themselves Cool .
todabeat
whats just happend...
wasnt paying attention...

haha
ProfessorY91
That was a damn fine ploy to get people to click on the thread, if I do say so myself. Even more impressive is the discussion that unfolded. I'm sure that attention is something that's wanted if you have a good self image, and unwanted if you have a poor self image. There's no real way to be overly critical about how much attention you should get or want, getting attention isn't hard at all. Its whether or not your perceive if its unwanted or wanted that makes this whole discussion possible.
Parkour_Jarrod
ProfessorY91 wrote:
That was a damn fine ploy to get people to click on the thread, if I do say so myself. Even more impressive is the discussion that unfolded. I'm sure that attention is something that's wanted if you have a good self image, and unwanted if you have a poor self image. There's no real way to be overly critical about how much attention you should get or want, getting attention isn't hard at all. Its whether or not your perceive if its unwanted or wanted that makes this whole discussion possible.


That thing you said about the unwanted or wanted attention made me think, but i disagree about the self image thing, if you have a low self-image you want more positive (wanted) attention to raise your self image to higher proportions

EDIT: thanks i thought the name was an awesome idea myself ^.^
Asap170
We all need especially me because I don't get a lot of attention if any and I am one to get depressed so it could be really bad if I don't get attention or people make fun of me... I've been suicidal before... But attention is good! Too much of it could be bad though...

Random Line: (My Laptop is burning my leg! Ahhh)
Parkour_Jarrod
Asap170 wrote:
We all need especially me because I don't get a lot of attention if any and I am one to get depressed so it could be really bad if I don't get attention or people make fun of me... I've been suicidal before... But attention is good! Too much of it could be bad though...

Random Line: (My Laptop is burning my leg! Ahhh)


im sorry to hear that you also suffer from depression, its a horrible thing.

What most people don't realise with depression is that they need some more positive attention but most people avoid the depressed.

well i hope your life turns around and you find what you want... and thans for your input and showing how attention can affect even your life
missdixy
We need attention because we are social beings. Although I definitely agree that some of us need it/want it? more than others.
todabeat
i dont think i would want it, too many things going on.., that way we could be like care free.
Ghost900
I believe the need for social interaction and attention is a part of our needs similar to how dogs and other animals also have social needs. I am happy with the level of attention I get and while there can be negative attention, I generally get positive and am happy with what I got as asking for perfect will make me never satisfied.

Depending on our childhood and our needs, we all need it more or less than others. I think that in general all people need different amounts just like some people need more or less social interaction than others.
Bluedoll
Attention:

Really sorry this reply got so long Ė good discussion by the way. I am saying below we need other people and we need to know ourselves.


_________________________________________________________________________

Why do people post? To get attention? I agree with Deanhills we have to look into ourselves to find the answers but I also think that our environment is valid too, for as many people have said often, ďno man is an islandĒ. So I think both inner and outer worlds need to get attention.

But why do we crave attention in the first place? This is how I see it. First off it is a need not an option. We need water, food, sleep, all the basics. We also need other people. It is a rather depressing comparison but soldiers and prisoners that have been put in isolation suffer all kinds of emotion and then physical distress if left alone. We just need other people period and that means attention. Yes!

Now why is that? Ok, the best explanation I could ever give is that our mental and emotional make up requires us to communicate, get responses and interact with other humans because it is a quest is for stability in our thoughts and eventually our sanity.

I am not an expert on the subject but if we would consider a question then answer it with another question or an answer that sparks another question or maybe two more etc. - we could deduce that eventually we just might need some kind of confirmation. Do you think I am right about this? Am I pretty? Do you think I am a nice person? Do you think I am doing the right thing?

As you can see, if we donít get an answer from another source our mind could become very stressed over all the questions.

Ok, enough of that. Assuming it is a need for everyone, let us determine how we are going to fill that need. That answer will determine our actions. I might say in closing that I think it is always good to have a multitude and variety of contacts to fill our needs rather than to rely on just one source.
deanhills
Nice reply Bluedoll, and agreed it is a good topic. I was thinking about it earlier today. When we are in families, there is always one of the siblings who needs more attention and gentler handling than the others, the environment is basically the same for everyone, but the needs of each sibling are different. I had a sibling like that who always needed more care than my other siblings. We always tended to look out more for this sibling, than for the others. For me that means that although the environment does play an important role, that we come with our own packages, and the only way we can measure those packages for most of the time is by comparing it with others around us. The mirror effect. Once we can get past those comparisons, and past analysing and measuring that which has not been available to us as lacking in our fulfillment, perhaps that is the moment when we can make some meaningful changes in our lives.
Bluedoll
Question

I didnít understand fully Deanhills what you meant by getting past comparisons and measuring? I do concur with we mirror each other.

It is so true specially in a family setting where we are more aware of our need for attention. Perhaps the same plays true in other close environments and maybe even not so close. How different we all are.
guissmo
Everything is good in moderation, including attention.
Too much positive attention makes everyone envious, and thus most of them will start bringing you down. Too much negative, is well, you know, negative.
deanhills
Bluedoll wrote:
Question

I didnít understand fully Deanhills what you meant by getting past comparisons and measuring? I do concur with we mirror each other.
It's getting past seeing the world we are, and seeing how it really is. It is not easy. I try and do that but I'm not always successful. It is like when you are looking at your mother, and instead of seeing yourself in her, seeing who she really is. Sometimes we look at our family in terms of the pats on the head we can get, or the ones that are missing. So this is the ability to look at them without expecting pats on the head or looking at the ones we feel we should have gotten. It is almost impossible to do without having done it with ourselves first. Being able to look at ourselves the way we really are without measuring ourselves the way we think we should be or should have been.
jabce85
Not everyone craves attention
deanhills
jabce85 wrote:
Not everyone craves attention
True, they are the lucky ones. There are even people who prefer not to have any attention at all. They are just totally into what they are doing to the point of being oblivious of whether they are getting attention or not. Attention just sort of happens. Ironic too that those people who do not crave attention get the most attention.
Bluedoll
Ok thanks, Deanhills I get it now. Actually, I might have seen something like that at a funeral recently where I hadnít seen some people for decades. In my memory they were a certain way and I a certain way in my mind like in a reflective scene but it was not what I was seeing in the present.

As far as attention goes I am sure we can crave solitude as much as we can crave attention. This is talking about the same thing just at opposite ends of the scale right? How we interact with others or want to interact can be a desire for solitude or for attention getting and of course it can render a positive or negative result.

Now without judging which is the most appropriate I do agree it is a balance but like any balance we so rarely get it perfectly the way we want I am thinking.

For an example, and maybe an interesting note, do you think it is possible on a forum, this forum to be more specific that some people post for reasons (to get points or to simply state a thought for example) but are not wanting interaction with other members, while other people want all kinds of interaction with their posts? Just a thought!
ProwerBot
I am fricken obsessed with having attention, and everyone I go to school with including my teachers agree. Sometimes I don't know if I do it on purpose or not, lol. That's one reason I'm obsessed with my computer, because I hate being alone and when people ignore me. I go absolutely insane when my internet goes out or if I can't use my computer. And when my so-called "friends" ignore me at school like during lunch or whatever, I'll leave and hide somewhere and go online with my iPod touch (the greatest investment I have ever made) so I can talk to someone.
deanhills
Bluedoll wrote:
... while other people want all kinds of interaction with their posts? Just a thought!
Are you referring to the ad hominem type attacks where a Frihoster focusses on the shortcomings of his adversary rather than the merits of the debate? Agreed, it would be interesting to look at those from the perspective of this discussion. I'm not quite sure how to interpret those, but who knows, maybe there is some neediness lurking on the part of both parties? The attacker has an uncanny ability to spot weaknesses and to go full throttle for them so as to disarm his adversary in the debate (revealing a negative type neediness), and the adversary, because of his/her earnestness to express passionately with self-assurance has an opposite offsetting positive neediness, including the offsetting neediness to set the attackers straight, that subconsiously attracts those attackers? Have you noticed that those attackers seldom prey on Frihosters who are dispassionate in their postings? Perhaps the latter does not have any neediness to tangle with? That does not say that neediness is "weak", as usually that which we are vulnerable in, is the flipside of our strengths.
Parkour_Jarrod
deanhills wrote:
Bluedoll wrote:
... while other people want all kinds of interaction with their posts? Just a thought!
Are you referring to the ad hominem type attacks where a Frihoster focusses on the shortcomings of his adversary rather than the merits of the debate? Agreed, it would be interesting to look at those from the perspective of this discussion. I'm not quite sure how to interpret those, but who knows, maybe there is some neediness lurking on the part of both parties? The attacker has an uncanny ability to spot weaknesses and to go full throttle for them so as to disarm his adversary in the debate (revealing a negative type neediness), and the adversary, because of his/her earnestness to express passionately with self-assurance has an opposite offsetting positive neediness, including the offsetting neediness to set the attackers straight, that subconsiously attracts those attackers? Have you noticed that those attackers seldom prey on Frihosters who are dispassionate in their postings? Perhaps the latter does not have any neediness to tangle with? That does not say that neediness is "weak", as usually that which we are vulnerable in, is the flipside of our strengths.


Which raises a question for me: Why do we post incoherent things of slander against a seeming logical post just to prove a point?

Why do we post thing on the internet at all?

Why are we on the internet at all?
Bluedoll
deanhills wrote:
Are you referring to the ad hominem type attacks where a Frihoster focusses on the shortcomings of his adversary rather than the merits of the debate?

Actually I was only making an observation how people behave in general and also how they behave whilst behind the keyboard. For what ever reason we can seek others to communicate with -
ProwerBot wrote:
. . . . when my so-called "friends" ignore me at school like during lunch or whatever, I'll leave and hide .... That's one reason I'm obsessed with my computer, because I hate being alone
. . . and specifically I am wondering ? ? ? ? ? just what people want specially in this forum Deanhills? Do they want to post something and then their post be left alone (I suppose that would include only supporters of thier post?) or do they want various views and understanding from different perspectives on the topic? There are bound to be bullies in every group.
Parkour_Jarrod wrote:
Which raises a question for me: Why do we post incoherent things of slander against a seeming logical post just to prove a point?

Why do we post thing on the internet at all?

Why are we on the internet at all?
In the beginning of this post Parkour_Jarrod you asked some questions and I honestly tried earnestly to help give an answer. I hope my little contribution is appreciated because I tried my very best. I can really only speak for myself really on the above questions for who can say what each person on the web thinks. I canít.

I donít post incoherently although sometimes on a deeper thought it can seem that way to others and if asked what I mean it simply allows me to reword it. I try not to follow the logic of debating in this forum at all. I am not here to debate and make points. I am here to write and share my ideas and thoughts. A lot of debating to me gets to be rather obscene anyway.

I think we write online to communicate with others it is as simple as that and that action goes along with getting attention. We are on the internet because networking can be beneficial as a tool to exchange information. It is that simple and that complex when you consider that people can be so different with different with different needs. For example I mentioned above about bullies, well in their past they have been bullied and therefore it is way to get attention and relieve what they are feeling inside. Stalkers types on the other hand may be just completely alone without any people skills?

I think a desire for solitude or attention anywhere is normal providing we donít hurt anyone but rather show respect and consideration for other human beings as we try to achieve what we want. Anything less is really only hurting ourselves in the long run anyway.
Parkour_Jarrod
Bluedoll wrote:
deanhills wrote:
Are you referring to the ad hominem type attacks where a Frihoster focusses on the shortcomings of his adversary rather than the merits of the debate?

Actually I was only making an observation how people behave in general and also how they behave whilst behind the keyboard. For what ever reason we can seek others to communicate with -
ProwerBot wrote:
. . . . when my so-called "friends" ignore me at school like during lunch or whatever, I'll leave and hide .... That's one reason I'm obsessed with my computer, because I hate being alone
. . . and specifically I am wondering ? ? ? ? ? just what people want specially in this forum Deanhills? Do they want to post something and then their post be left alone (I suppose that would include only supporters of thier post?) or do they want various views and understanding from different perspectives on the topic? There are bound to be bullies in every group.
Parkour_Jarrod wrote:
Which raises a question for me: Why do we post incoherent things of slander against a seeming logical post just to prove a point?

Why do we post thing on the internet at all?

Why are we on the internet at all?
In the beginning of this post Parkour_Jarrod you asked some questions and I honestly tried earnestly to help give an answer. I hope my little contribution is appreciated because I tried my very best. I can really only speak for myself really on the above questions for who can say what each person on the web thinks. I canít.

I donít post incoherently although sometimes on a deeper thought it can seem that way to others and if asked what I mean it simply allows me to reword it. I try not to follow the logic of debating in this forum at all. I am not here to debate and make points. I am here to write and share my ideas and thoughts. A lot of debating to me gets to be rather obscene anyway.

I think we write online to communicate with others it is as simple as that and that action goes along with getting attention. We are on the internet because networking can be beneficial as a tool to exchange information. It is that simple and that complex when you consider that people can be so different with different with different needs. For example I mentioned above about bullies, well in their past they have been bullied and therefore it is way to get attention and relieve what they are feeling inside. Stalkers types on the other hand may be just completely alone without any people skills?

I think a desire for solitude or attention anywhere is normal providing we donít hurt anyone but rather show respect and consideration for other human beings as we try to achieve what we want. Anything less is really only hurting ourselves in the long run anyway.



Ahh, sorry if you thought those questions were aimed at you, they wern't i was just stating questions in general that came to mind as i read the discussion about you and dean
deanhills
Parkour_Jarrod wrote:
Ahh, sorry if you thought those questions were aimed at you, they wern't i was just stating questions in general that came to mind as i read the discussion about you and dean
No apology necessary. We were having a great time. I did not see the questions that you posed in your opening post as aimed at anybody. They were very good questions and quite thought provoking. They looked like general ones that affect everybody. Good to have you back, the thread has been growing quite a bit in your absence. Cool
Parkour_Jarrod
deanhills wrote:
Parkour_Jarrod wrote:
Ahh, sorry if you thought those questions were aimed at you, they wern't i was just stating questions in general that came to mind as i read the discussion about you and dean
No apology necessary. We were having a great time. I did not see the questions that you posed in your opening post as aimed at anybody. They were very good questions and quite thought provoking. They looked like general ones that affect everybody. Good to have you back, the thread has been growing quite a bit in your absence. Cool


I have been watching the thread grow, but each thing i wanted to say had already been answered by another Razz
deanhills
Parkour_Jarrod wrote:

I have been watching the thread grow, but each thing i wanted to say had already been answered by another Razz
Just goes to show, we must all be like-minded on the subject. Apologies however if we pre-empted your thoughts .... Smile
Bluedoll
Parkour_ Jarrod the fact that you would take the time to write something (sorry if you . . . ) says something about you which is appealing.

Though, I think the forum is a public board and it is your post after all. These questions are good valid ones. Why do we seek attention Ė even online? The truth is human nature is very fascinating and why people do what they do even online poses so many good questions for us to learn from.

Very Happy
Parkour_Jarrod
Bluedoll wrote:
Parkour_ Jarrod the fact that you would take the time to write something (sorry if you . . . ) says something about you which is appealing.



Hmm, may i ask what you mean by this? it sorta confused me
Xanify
Quote:
Ironic too that those people who do not crave attention get the most attention.


That's because those who don't crave attention spend a lot of time working on being genuinely good at whatever they're doing, for their own sake, and people like those who are genuinely good at things. I know someone who's a great writer (though amateur - writes as a hobby) and gets loads of accolades and attention and would rather people just left her alone to write.

Attention is a sliding scale - it's possible to have too much of it, or too little, and how much you need to be happy depends on the person. The person I know would probably be sad if absolutely nobody read her writing - it's just that right now she's getting too much attention for comfort.

(so if you feel like you're not getting enough attention, don't go around being needy and desperate, try getting really really good at something and you'll have it. Being mediocre means being ignored.)
Bluedoll
Parkour_Jarrod wrote:
Bluedoll wrote:
Parkour_ Jarrod the fact that you would take the time to write something (sorry if you . . . ) says something about you which is appealing.



Hmm, may i ask what you mean by this? it sorta confused me


Yes sure Parkour_ Jarrod, you wrote previously starting with "sorry if you.." and I thought anyone that starts something with the word sorry is appealing because it shows they have consideration and compassion for other people. That's all. Sorry about the confusion.
_________

I agree with Xanify we all have a different idea and I guess it varies from time to time on the amount of attention we want. I am a person that like lots of attention for instance but then don't want to feel like I am robbing it from others for that would make be greedy.

I guess it is never just right for I find when you get some attention, others can be jealous I suppose and it turns into the kind of attention you don't want! Or you get so much attention that you feel you can't breath, there is not enough time for it all like in the example Xanify gave. On the other hand you get times where you simply don't get any.

Rolling Eyes
_______
if wife were prefect id no huw to speel i geese!
deanhills
Xanify wrote:
Quote:
Ironic too that those people who do not crave attention get the most attention.


That's because those who don't crave attention spend a lot of time working on being genuinely good at whatever they're doing, for their own sake, and people like those who are genuinely good at things. I know someone who's a great writer (though amateur - writes as a hobby) and gets loads of accolades and attention and would rather people just left her alone to write.

Attention is a sliding scale - it's possible to have too much of it, or too little, and how much you need to be happy depends on the person. The person I know would probably be sad if absolutely nobody read her writing - it's just that right now she's getting too much attention for comfort.

(so if you feel like you're not getting enough attention, don't go around being needy and desperate, try getting really really good at something and you'll have it. Being mediocre means being ignored.)
Really good points. Except, for some people it seem to be easier than others. Some people are lucky in that they seem to have really good beginnings in life where their parents revere them, and they feel safe and secure. It is easier for them then to figure out where they want to go, as they have a stronger and more secure sense of themselves. When you are strong and secure in yourself, you may not need as much attention. However I have also found people who had less than good beginnings, because of the struggle to find something secure in themselves, they may be more sorted out and stronger in the end because they had to work so much harder at it. Also, they may be more sensitive to other people's insecurities and be able to use that to their advantage in having a greater understanding of how to deal with them. Ultimately, they would have the "opportunity" to develop greater depth of character.

Look at people like Hitler or Stalin, who had a real bad start in life, and how their craving for attention in the end affected millions of people.
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