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The best advice I've ever received





iyepes
This is the most obvious sentence one can be told, but recently a male friend of mine, told me this, when I asked him about a man who I recently got interested.

If you want to attract him, just be yourself.

That's the plain and simple true, if he likes me, it's because of what I am, not what I'm trying to show Smile
natilovesmike
Very true. That's how I actually met my husband...and one of the reasons I liked him was because he thought I was beautiful, and we met when I wasn't dressed up (I actually had arrived from a 10 hour bus trip!) and I was being completely myself.
deanhills
iyepes wrote:
This is the most obvious sentence one can be told, but recently a male friend of mine, told me this, when I asked him about a man who I recently got interested.

If you want to attract him, just be yourself.

That's the plain and simple true, if he likes me, it's because of what I am, not what I'm trying to show Smile
I think the real secret of wanting to attract, is not wanting to attract. If you are busy with your own hobbies and enjoying life, and not looking for attracting anyone, they usually get attracted to you. When you get focussed on being attracted, the magic around it disappears. I like your advice about "be yourself", without the "want to attract him" attached to it. You may even find if you are truly yourself, and doing your own thing, you may attract someone you would never have imagined.
watersoul
deanhills wrote:
iyepes wrote:
This is the most obvious sentence one can be told, but recently a male friend of mine, told me this, when I asked him about a man who I recently got interested.

If you want to attract him, just be yourself.

That's the plain and simple true, if he likes me, it's because of what I am, not what I'm trying to show Smile
I think the real secret of wanting to attract, is not wanting to attract. If you are busy with your own hobbies and enjoying life, and not looking for attracting anyone, they usually get attracted to you. When you get focussed on being attracted, the magic around it disappears. I like your advice about "be yourself", without the "want to attract him" attached to it. You may even find if you are truly yourself, and doing your own thing, you may attract someone you would never have imagined.


Absolutely agree deanhills!
For the last 6 months I've not been interested in being in a relationship, preferring to have laughs with my mates and do my own thing for the time being. It's so funny how when you make that decision then loads of people seem to be interested all of a sudden.
Even some of my mates are jealous of the girls that smile and chat in a bar etc when they are having poor luck themselves.
I think it must be because I'm not searching, maybe that "invisible mist of desperation" isn't leaking from me, or perhaps I just seem more confident because I'm not worrying about what girls are thinking about me?

Whatever, all of us should just "be ourselves" because no-one gets any surprises that way!
iyepes
Ok, I haven't reached that "Nirvana" of not wanting to attract someone. I'm still interested and not being it would be non-natural to me, I would be pretending somenthing I don't really feel.

I really enjoy my hobbies, time, family, friends, but the other is still on my mind. That's part of being me by now Razz
guggs
When I was a boy / young man I had lots of attractive girls chase me, much to the annoyance of my mates who never seemed to have much luck with the ladies. Why ? Because I just acted "normal" all the time, not trying to show off or impress anyone, and the girls all liked that.
.you.make.my.heart.happy.
iyepes wrote:
Ok, I haven't reached that "Nirvana" of not wanting to attract someone. I'm still interested and not being it would be non-natural to me, I would be pretending somenthing I don't really feel.

I really enjoy my hobbies, time, family, friends, but the other is still on my mind. That's part of being me by now Razz


I totally know what you mean, I was there and it got me down a lot because I knew what I needed to do but I just found it so difficult. The truth of the matter is, you can do it! I was always obsessing over how much I liked someone, and I was striving to be attractive for them. I think that's quite common for some while growing up (especially when some deal with identity crisis).
So I guess what I wanted to say though, is that you need to convince yourself that, in order to get ahead in this department you need to let go a bit, be more distracted with your life and activities rather than being with someone. You'll gain more self-confidence and then if someone is interested in you, you know it's really you he's into.

I hope that makes sense. Smile
iyepes
Hmmmmm, I'm not growing up, or maybe yes, I'm growing up in my way to develop relationships. But in age I've grown enough Razz
mk12327
I would agree that most of the time, being your natural self is the best way to attract someone of the opposite gender. However, if there is someone particular you want to attract, this approach might not work out. Because tendency is that you'll attract someone else instead. What I think is that there will definitely be some effort needed to make yourself more presentable and attractive. However, the trick to is not try too hard. It is like giving respect to others when uou make yourself more presentable. Who goes to an interview with flip-flops, singlet and shorts?
blog_inforama
This is indeed the best advise you can get. Thats so true and important so that you get to know the person you are in love with. Fake relationships collapse like a house of cards.
jilbs
That's the best advice I've heard too.
macky
iyepes wrote:
This is the most obvious sentence one can be told, but recently a male friend of mine, told me this, when I asked him about a man who I recently got interested.

If you want to attract him, just be yourself.

That's the plain and simple true, if he likes me, it's because of what I am, not what I'm trying to show Smile


yeah that is really great... Very Happy being yourself is one of the best way that people may accept you

for who you really are...
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