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Sticky situation





airh3ad
Alright...I have reason to believe that the guy of my younger sister is that he is dating may be using drugs but I don't know exactly how to approach the subject with him she said. I myself am an ex-addict (I've been clean and sober for almost 4 years now)...but it's been such a long time, and some of the signs are so wishy-washy, I don't want to go accusing the guy if it's just allergies, ya know? no I'm not in denial but I've been accused of it before and I was just tired and it pissed me off,
Then became suspicious that he MAY be high...and was going to try and get something out of him...so I said,"You just don't seem like yourself tonight something is different what is it?" And he flipped out he said, "Okay I really have to go now, because if I stay here any longer, I'm seriously going to freak out. I'm done arguing...that's it I'll call you later!" And he just ran off, got into his truck and left this is the story of my younger sister she really need help about his situation now?
apple
why don't you observe him and see if you notice anything? or you could always ask him if he's using.
tukun2009manit
apple wrote:
why don't you observe him and see if you notice anything? or you could always ask him if he's using.



just try not to fight talk about the problems and try to find solutions
apple
tukun2009manit wrote:
apple wrote:
why don't you observe him and see if you notice anything? or you could always ask him if he's using.



just try not to fight talk about the problems and try to find solutions


agreed
airh3ad
Yes i agreed to apple. we already ask him he refuse that he don't used drugs anything i don't know if he telling the true.
watersoul
Dude, sorry to see you've got "big brother" complications.
If you can't build a relaxed conversation about this with the boyfriend then it might cause problems if he feels threatened and ends the relationship with your Sis.
In my experience, if he dumps her there is a huge risk that your Sister will blame you and take her hurt and sadness out on you. And if it turned out after that the guy was clean all along, your Sister might hold anger about that for some time.

If it was my Sister, I'd just keep my eye's open, do a little searching for info by asking around, and just be ready to be "Big Bro" if/when she needs you. Thats the best option in my opinion, you can't watch every guy she dates, but you can always be the one to pick up the pieces if she ever needs a hug from a man she knows will always love her...you Smile
deanhills
airh3ad is the expert here as he has done it before. His instincts have to be right. And he has every right to be very concerned. Perhaps his sister is hanging out with the wrong crowd, and he knows that what has happened to him, may happen to her. He probably needs to study the friends she is hanging out with and share his concerns with her. I don't think he should deal with the boyfriend though until he has talked to his sister and they are on the same page about this.
yagnyavalkya
check properly
pbly the guy will also eventually quit drugs!~
yagnyavalkya
Check everything properly before starting a relationship
soljarag
I had the same issue about 8 years ago


My sister was dating a guy from another school and I was almost positive he did drugs.... so a few weeks went by and he ended up showing up at HER school, drunk and high and actually tried to check her out of school (at the school you had to go to the office to checkout, and he made some story up about my sisters uncle was in the hospital) abvoisly they didn't by it .... and she had no idea he even was there (until she was told what happened)

Long story short... that was the end of that relationship .... and my parents called his dad at told him if his son made ANY contact with her what so ever, they would call the cops... shortly after he moved and lived with his mom (they were divorced)


So, just keep an eye out...
PureReborn
Sounds like you're having a bit of big brother complex.

Trust your sister's judgment and just watch them from the sidelines. Talk to her and ask her how her relationship is doing without sounding like you're doubting her bf. If she also thinks her bf is acting weird then she'll talk to you about it.
yagnyavalkya
I think it is not a complex it is just being carefull
guissmo
I think you should just wait for an opportune time to talk about it, not like randomly telling him or something. It'd be awkward and will make him seem that you hate him or something.
yagnyavalkya
guissmo wrote:
I think you should just wait for an opportune time to talk about it, not like randomly telling him or something. It'd be awkward and will make him seem that you hate him or something.

I think that is right one should not be premeditated in sensitive issues one should be very careful in dealing with people
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