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Are you happy?





spring567
So simple a question. But to be happy is very important to everyone . Sometimes I feel glad ,sometimes I feel sad. I want to be happy every day every moment ,but I couldn't do that . How about you? How do you make yourself happy when you feel not good?
Ophois
At this moment, I am indifferent.
When I feel bad, I pick up my guitar and play some blues. It's cathartic, I think. Playing something sad on my guitar always makes me feel better.
ocalhoun
Generally, yes.

Which is why I couldn't manage to finish the book on Buddhism I was studying on.
The starting premise of 'life is suffering' was antithetical to me, and it just went on and on about how to relieve the suffering that I don't feel in the first place.
deanhills
I find when I am happy it is not because I thought about it. It is a state of mind that is just there and when I become consciously aware of it, it feels very good. When I don't feel good, it is much of the same, it is just there. When I start to think concsiously when I don't feel good, feeling good feels very remote. All I can think in the positive sense is what not to do that would make it worse and to keep telling myself: "AND ..... this too will pass, it always does".

@Ocalhoun. I've also noted the Buddhist way of thinking that life is the pits and we should be happy in those moments when it is not. I found that that appealed to me when I was not feeling good, but when I did feel good, I could not relate to it at all. For me it is more a state of mind and how we internalize how we feel, our own perception of the world which really is a mirror image of our own thinking, than a global thing. So maybe I won't be able to be a Buddhist.
desonium
I am also not always happy. But when I have a bad day, most of the times I go to bed earlyer. Or when it's in the middle of the day I gonna searcg youtube to watch some funny videos. After that I feel myself much more happy. Cool
czarulit
I'm often sad these days. Worse thing is that I do not really know why. I look through window and watch cars riding. Strange feeling.
Ophois
Strangely, I've been really down lately. But I thrive in moments of darkness. It motivates me. As the lyrics in a song go, "And if strength is borne from heartbreak, then mountains I could move!". Well said.
Fatality
For the most part I'm always happy. Everyone has their moments when they're scared, nervous, sad, mad, or depressed, but I like to live a simple, happy, and stress free life.
deanhills
Ophois wrote:
Strangely, I've been really down lately. But I thrive in moments of darkness. It motivates me. As the lyrics in a song go, "And if strength is borne from heartbreak, then mountains I could move!". Well said.
Not sure who said it, but it was something along the lines what you seem to be doing as well, not to resist it, but to let it wash all over you. That way it can't break you. Also like diving into a wave, instead of waiting for it to capsize you.
Ophois
I have heard so many songs recently that make me get up off my ass and change the world! I really prefer anti-establishment kinds of songs.

I always keep in mind something that John Fitzgerald Kennedy once said. "Those who make peaceful revolution impossible, make violent revolution inevitable."
When all else fails, there is that option... and I feel that guys like jimi256 would probably be on my side, when it comes down to it.
missdixy
Yes, for the most part, I am happy. But, I am also stressed and sort of feel beaten in many ways. So it goes!
deanhills
Ophois wrote:
I feel that guys like jimi256 would probably be on my side, when it comes down to it.
Totally agreed. Birds of a feather. It would probably be the other way round too.
Jinx
I suffer from "Grass is greener" syndrome. I find myself constantly thinking that if only something were different about my life - like if my bills were paid off, or if I were thinner, or if I'd finished my degree, or if I'd done this, that or the other I might be happier. I have to constantly remind myself that what I have is actually pretty good. There are some days that I am very happy, and I find that that seems to happen on days when I am content with what I have. So I guess it's a matter of reminding myself that my life is actually pretty good, all things considered, instead of uselessly pining over things I can't have.
carlospro7
I have noticed that I am always happy whenever I get enough sleep. I feel awake and ready to go on with my day. This is important for me because I have the awful habit of not going to sleep on time, and will stay up for hours. The next day I feel groggy, and find it hard to enjoy my day. I just want to go to bed or be lazy, and I get irritated much easier. So because of this, I'm trying to get off my bad sleeping habit as it seems to work for me. Things are much better.
erlendhg
I salute the people that can always be happy.
I am often glad, but for me it seems impossible to be happy all the time.

I also feel that it is good sometimes, not to be happy, to let the frustrations out Razz
hamza1122
I'm an emotional rollercoaster. As the years go by I find myself getting more angry and stressed. I was happier as a kid. lol.
Twotone
I think outside influences affect the way we feel, happy or sad, so i try to keep within the influence of "happiness".
I think doing things we enjoy with people that we enjoy being with is a good way stay happy Smile

Ok i'm an optimist , can't help it Smile
TurtleShell
I ask myself this from time to time. My father is obsessed with making himself happy. He says it over and over: make yourself happy. I am not sure to what extent he personally is successful.

I am not sure if I am happy myself. I think on a day to day basis, I am often happy. I joke around with the people at work and I laugh with my friends. Overall, however, I am frustrated. I feel like I work and work, but don't get very far. Like a lot of people, I'm running to stand still, all the time. I'm not sure which is greater--the frustration or the day to day happiness--so I'm not sure if I'm "happy".

Sometimes I think I have lost sight of the ball. The general goodwill I should feel is overshadowed by my frustrations and occasional desperation. Sometimes I chastise myself for not smiling to more people, for not paying consideration to the people I meet, for not doing something better with my life than what I am doing now.

Although I have a family and I'm raising my daughter and I'm trying my best to be a good person, I feel like I should be contributing more to the greater good and taking care of myself better. I should be more responsible, and I feel the weight of that. So I don't always feel like I'm the good person I should be. I often feel...not like a failure, but sort of like a waste. Like although I am trying, very very hard, I am not focusing on the right goals.

So, whether or not I am happy is a mystery. I can tell you the little things that make me happy (in no particular order):

1) ghost stories
2) laying in the sun, half in and out of the water
3) going to restaurants
4) reading books
5) painting
6) chocolate
7) Halloween
Cool Thanksgiving
9) baking
10) having a clean house
11) traveling
12) making my family happy
13) being helpful

but these are (mostly) small things. ...
Twotone
I think true happiness can only be achieved from within...when are content with our lives.

if course not many people are completely content....but it is something to strive for.

I'll keep striving...Smile
Ghost900
I am generally happy as I avoid too much stress and I enjoy what I do most of the time. It doesn't take much to make me happy. Very Happy
airh3ad
Yes im really happy with my life now, if you do not perceive that this unhappiness is arising from jesus calling you to a deeper relationship with him, you may try to substitute that deeper relationship with God with things that will never make you happy. Maybe you think money will make you happy but can you take one dollar or pound to heaven? (Here I take money from my pocket and show it) Maybe you think alcohol will make you happy. Will alcohol make you happy?
It will make you happy only if you drink so much that you forget your troubles but when you are sober again you have all your troubles back and then you have to drink again to become happy. And what happens to all the money that you drink? It turns into urine and goes down the sewer! Does that really make anyone happy?
one more thing i have met many families whose lives were ruined through alcohol abuse. Maybe you are committing some sin thinking that will make you happy. Does sin make you happy? No. It gives you a guilty conscience and then you go to the priest for confession and if it is a big sin you complain that even after confessing you still are not happy. How can you get rid of that guilty conscience? once you have sins? always smile and be happy forget all your problems.
deanhills
airh3ad wrote:
always smile and be happy forget all your problems.
I think people from the Philippines must have perfected how to be happy and to smile even when adversity is at its worst. Not only are they some of the most hard working people in the world, especially in the West where they hold down as many as three jobs all at the same time, but they are always "light", smiling and showing a happy face. Do you think it is in the genes perhaps? Or just a way of life in the Philippines? People seldom complain?
airh3ad
To make clear we filipino people is hardworking. yes its geneses its the generation i been seeing from day.
deanhills
airh3ad wrote:
To make clear we filipino people is hardworking. yes its geneses its the generation i been seeing from day.
Where do you think it came from? Although maybe that is a difficult question to answer when hard work is what you have been used to for generations and generations. Maybe hard work and happiness go together?
Bluedoll
Happy is make believe . . . by Bluedoll

Happiness is a state of mind and not a condition. Happiness is a lot like freedom. It is a journey not a destination. You can not bind up freedom and hand it out like lolly pops. It is something you actively seek and desire. If you think you can sit back and say I am free because I live in a free country you are wrong because there are stealers at your door. It happens subtle, when you give in or just give up, you loose. You can loose your grip with just one small gesture of mistrust, mostly in yourself.

To say we are happy is to want it, to look for it and to even act for it. Can we say we are happy most of the time probably not but that doesn’t mean we can never have it on request.

If we feel unhappy it is because we are in a place we don’t want to be in and if we are trapped there then we are not free. The truth is happy comes and goes.

In living, I just ask myself if I want to be happy and unless there is something seriously wrong, go to that place. Simply answer for a simply question.
deanhills
Bluedoll wrote:
Happy is make believe . . . by Bluedoll

Happiness is a state of mind and not a condition. Happiness is a lot like freedom. It is a journey not a destination. You can not bind up freedom and hand it out like lolly pops. It is something you actively seek and desire. If you think you can sit back and say I am free because I live in a free country you are wrong because there are stealers at your door. It happens subtle, when you give in or just give up, you loose. You can loose your grip with just one small gesture of mistrust, mostly in yourself.

To say we are happy is to want it, to look for it and to even act for it. Can we say we are happy most of the time probably not but that doesn’t mean we can never have it on request.

If we feel unhappy it is because we are in a place we don’t want to be in and if we are trapped there then we are not free. The truth is happy comes and goes.

In living, I just ask myself if I want to be happy and unless there is something seriously wrong, go to that place. Simply answer for a simply question.
I don't know if others have experienced the same. My most happy moments have been when I have not been thinking about it. I was just happy. The moment I started to think about it, it started to move away a little. Happiness to be is a state of being, right in the moment. When you think yourself out of that moment, you think yourself out of that happiness.
apple
I would say that I am happy right now. For the first time in my life I long for tomorrows, for my life to be a long one so I can continue to bask in this feeling, this bliss.
Crinoid
Depends on definition of the word "happy" Smile
For the culture I'm belong to, happy means short term sunny feeling, when you just feel this physical world (not society) and be one with it, nothing else to wish or think or worry about. I mean not an euphoric feeling, this is like a more high state than nirvana.
Infectious for a people around, they smile at you, express a good envy, and have a short dive in a tide of happiness too, just passing by.

Here, now, this word is used for anything, starting from "barely can stand it".

Completely agree on "bask in this feeling", though...
standready
I don't ask myself that question. Never like the answer.
natilovesmike
Well, this is a topic that I discuss with my husband a lot. I keep asking him if he is Happy and he always gives me a % number...and he says that you can never be 100% in every aspect of your life. I think this is true but for some reason my brain works differently...or maybe it is that I am happy with little things as well as big things. I usually feel happy...I have a family that I love, I work doing what I like and I have a deccent health and friends that I love (even though they are too far).

But I know some people in my place would focus on the things they don't have...like I don't have a lot of money...but I have enough to have a decent life and enjoy things I like periodically like dinner out with my husband and son, trips around the US and once every two years I get to go back to Argentina and visit my friends and family. I mentioned that I work doing what I like....that doesn't mean I am perfectly happy with everything in my work...I am mostly stressed and many times frustrated (I am a graduate student in neuroscience). But when I feel too stressed or frustrated I keep in mind that _I_ chose to do what I do, nobody is forcing me...and that helps me go through the rough periods.
tony
spring567 wrote:
So simple a question. But to be happy is very important to everyone . Sometimes I feel glad ,sometimes I feel sad. I want to be happy every day every moment ,but I couldn't do that . How about you? How do you make yourself happy when you feel not good?


I'm happy Smile (and thanks for asking Razz) I am also a bit tired though... hrm....
nigam
Well, most of us wants to be happy all the time...no one wants sad moments...but in the times that there are trials and difficulties in life, we always want not to be affected nor sad...but we couldn't help sometimes.
chasbeen
Happiness is a result of chemical reaction in your brainbox.

Have you noticed any misfires? I'm talking about a sudden feeling of a "type" of depression and then asking yourself.. Hang on why do I feel like this?.. and there is no answer.

I love Pink Floyd but the music should contain a warning. It's actually quite depressing when ya tink abaht it!
Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad
Aredon
I would say that most of the time I'm happy, but I would most certainly be lying if I claimed it was all the time. There are times when I feel defeated, not by anything in particular, just life as a whole. It is sort of a feeling of powerlessness; I really don't know how too describe it other than that. For the most part I try to enjoy life where I can, and try not to let things I can't control bother me too much. That's definitely easier said than done though Wink.
Melacos
Well, according to statistics I'm a part of the 'happiest' population in the world (Denmark). Critical voices refusing the objectivity of this idea states that it is only due to the fact that Danes are generally satisfied with the status Q and that they can not really envision a 'better' tomorrow. Hence being 'happy' with the present state of things.
I'm not sure how to look at this, and in the first place I'm always hesitant when it comes to generalizations concerning qualitative aspects of the world.
I myself deal with happiness or rather a feeling of well-being as something I constantly try to achieve no matter the context. I actively try to turn situations into the better - as much through mental efforts as actually doing an active in-the-world effort. Generally I succeed in doing this I guess.
kriszara
I go through happy days, so-so days and sad days just like everyone else, but I manage to find something that makes me laugh or smile everyday.
Sometimes in the midst of the worse day I will see something funny or beautiful and realize that my day isn't really that bad.
Also I have a memory of camping up in the mountains. On the pit toilets at the campground was a sign that said, "Please do not throw garbage in the toilets it makes them harder to clean out." and I realize that no matter how bad my day is at least I am not driving a truck full of SH*T down a winding, mountain road.
paskifire
After experiencing the disasters here in the Philippines, probably after a month of recovery, I can say that I am happy because my family survived the disasters Very Happy
rafaelplinio
I really am happy....
I can say that there`s not too much people happier than me!!!....rsrsrsrs...
It`s almost impossible to make me sad or unhappy...
It`s almost impossible too to make me down.
To become happy, we just need not to bother with stupid things...
And remember, "stupid things" is everything!!!
Bills, wheather, everything...!!!
Why bother?..?...?....?rsrsrs...
belo-dc-laptop
Honestly, I don't know. But what exactly is happiness?
jabce85
I try to be! No one likes a grouch!
crossroads
I would like to say I am happy but really Im not. The issue is that I dont have a job, they let go a lot of us and its been really hard for us to live on 1 paycheck. We have had to sell things just to keep a float and pay the bills but its really getting harder every month and we dont know how long we can go. Ive been putting in applications in for so many jobs, at least 30+ jobs, and yet to get one. Ive had 2 interviews for jobs and its been filled.

This economy really is hard for everyone and I just hope that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel soon!
Insanity
Uhm... sometimes? It's hard to say, one day I'm happy and the next I'm not. Right now, I'm not really happy or sad. There are times when I'm really happy and when I'm really sad... more often than not it seems like I'm more sad. Sad
Shadowninja7194
meh..im kinda happy. im doing well in school and what not, but my parents just divorced so on a scale from 1-10 im a 5.8'ish
guissmo
Well, do you mean "happy" in general?

Emotions are like the weather. Sometimes it's sunny and sometimes it's rainy. But it's always a good idea to have a good mix of both. That way, you appreciate the happy times. Smile
BigGeek
Happiness like so many recognize is a state of mind, or a feeling. Sometimes things in life make me happy, successes, productivity, being kind to people. Other things in life make me sad, money, drama at work, loss of friends my dog, and my father to death.

The Buddhist philosophy that life is suffering, and that we should strive to be happy even in times of sadness has always struck me as the biggest form of dysfunction that I have ever read. You see, emotions are not constant, things like fatigue, stress, over work, lack of sleep affect us and alter our moods. I know that when I don't get enough sleep, over train in my workouts, work too many hours at work, I feel depressed, and sad. I also notice that occurrences in life affect our moods, like the loss of a loved one, or a cruel boss, or the loss of a job, and financial hardships.

I personally feel that not acknowledging these feelings about negative situations in life, and expressing them, in order to let them go is the only healthy way to handle them. Over riding your feelings of sadness, anger, disgust, frustration, and so forth is the best way to have them eat you alive from the inside out. Acknowledge them let them out, and you will laugh at yourself and let go.

Of course we all have the feelings of "only if", only if I had more money, more friends, a better job, only if I had these things then I would be happy. When you get this way meditate, sit and quiet your mind, and joke with yourself about it. Eventually you will laugh at yourself for being so silly about happiness.

I could go on and on, but, I will say that lately, after a few months of grief and crying about the loss of my best friend, my dog, and my dad all within 3 months of each other (yes they died), I've begun to laugh and be happy in their memory, and I remember all the funny and fun things we did together, and find happiness and peace in the fact that one day I will see them again, and that they are in the same place we will all go one day!
downntheholler
TurtleShell wrote:
I ask myself this from time to time. My father is obsessed with making himself happy. He says it over and over: make yourself happy. I am not sure to what extent he personally is successful.

I am not sure if I am happy myself. I think on a day to day basis, I am often happy. I joke around with the people at work and I laugh with my friends. Overall, however, I am frustrated. I feel like I work and work, but don't get very far. Like a lot of people, I'm running to stand still, all the time. I'm not sure which is greater--the frustration or the day to day happiness--so I'm not sure if I'm "happy".

Sometimes I think I have lost sight of the ball. The general goodwill I should feel is overshadowed by my frustrations and occasional desperation. Sometimes I chastise myself for not smiling to more people, for not paying consideration to the people I meet, for not doing something better with my life than what I am doing now.

Although I have a family and I'm raising my daughter and I'm trying my best to be a good person, I feel like I should be contributing more to the greater good and taking care of myself better. I should be more responsible, and I feel the weight of that. So I don't always feel like I'm the good person I should be. I often feel...not like a failure, but sort of like a waste. Like although I am trying, very very hard, I am not focusing on the right goals.

So, whether or not I am happy is a mystery. I can tell you the little things that make me happy (in no particular order):

1) ghost stories
2) laying in the sun, half in and out of the water
3) going to restaurants
4) reading books
5) painting
6) chocolate
7) Halloween
Cool Thanksgiving
9) baking
10) having a clean house
11) traveling
12) making my family happy
13) being helpful

but these are (mostly) small things. ...

Your list is not a list of small things!...it is a list of Living...many of us have this same list.
EdCarlo
yes im happy . Laughing

you need to happy all the time to make your life longer.
crimson_aria
how do I make myself happy? most of the time, I deal with sadness by crying. I cry to let out the feelings. if the sadness still does not go away, I talk to friends, I read a book or go net surfing. I feed my mind other things to shift my focus. then I'd feel fine. and oh yeah, sleep. er.. and eating too. haha. I put up with sadness for a while to let it out, then I do things which make me happy.
goutha
Yes, I'm happy. I can't say that I'm happy all the time, but most of the time!

Now happiness is relative to every person...
sudipbanerjee
In our bengali language there is a poem of kabiguru Rabindranath Thakur (Tagore):
nodir epar kohe charia niswas
opare te sorbosukh amar biswas
(The oneside of the riverbank thoughts that the another side has all happiness).
It is true in most of our life. I also try to lead a happy life. But workload, family burden, stress are the constraint of this happiness. Sometime when everything is ok in life I think I am happy. But the very next time when something become wrong my decision also change.
So happiness is a confusion to me. I am totally confused in this question that whether I am happy or not?
sonam
I like this post.

I don't like this post.

Actualy, I think likes and dislikes are most important in my happines. If I don't like something then I strive to go out from this state. This effort (in most situations without result) make me unhappy. Some spiritual teachers say: "Just accept your state and look in it. After some time you will note it's gone". I am doing the best on this way.

Sonam
Bluedoll
sonam wrote:
I like this post.

I don't like this post.

Actualy, I think likes and dislikes are most important in my happines. If I don't like something then I strive to go out from this state. This effort (in most situations without result) make me unhappy. Some spiritual teachers say: "Just accept your state and look in it. After some time you will note it's gone". I am doing the best on this way.

Sonam
I like that "it's gone". What do you suppose it means however? Is your state just a glimpse in time or your complete life or both?
sonam
Bluedoll wrote:
I like that "it's gone". What do you suppose it means however? Is your state just a glimpse in time or your complete life or both?


It is just glimps, the moments where I have attention on a exact moment (now) without wories about past or future.

Sonam
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