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GF hangs out with lots of other guys





Hondaridr58
Alright fella's I need some opinions. I have a beautiful girlfriend that I care alot about, she doesnt have many girlfriends but has more guys wanting to be with her than I can count. We're both 20, but she knows the owners of quite a few bars in town and gets into them without problem. She goes, and I cant. The thing is she is going with these guys that want her, and try to kiss her everytime. I dont want to tell her that she cant go do that anymore, but at the same time its really eating at me. She is very aware that it eats at me, but doesnt seem to make much of an effort to do anything about it. Im very good about not getting close to other girls, or hang out with girls one on one just out of respect for her... Meh I dont know, what do you guys think I should do?
BigGeek
I'm not going to tell you to dump her, but having had your experience 4 times previously in my life, I can tell you that I was never able to work it out. Plus being nice to her, and respecting her will never get her to knock off the behavior. Sad but true.

What will make you even more sick is that if you stay friends with her, even after the two of you break it off, the man that will eventually get her to stop the playing around will be the one that TREATS HER LIKE CRAP!! Yup, all 4 of the exceptionally beautiful women that I had relationships with, and they were always out with LOTS of other guys, and had no girl friends, ended up with guys that were emotional freaks, screamed at them, would grabbed and shake them and throw them around. Seemed to me that the only way to get them to knock off the flirty behavior was to beat them into submission, because respecting them and asking them to consider my feelings only made the behavior worse. Then to later see them with a guy that treated them like crap, screamed at them, called slut and ******, smacked them, made huge scenes in bars and public places were the ones that they finally married or stayed with long term Confused Go Figure?

I'm still friends with one of them to this day, she eventually got past 3 ugly abusive relationships after ours, and found a good man, and is married with 2 boys. She is also the VP of the company she works for, and has managed to excel professionally over the last 15 years I've known her.

A little history, she is a drop dead gorgeous red head with stunning blue eyes, and has a great figure, even at 42 years old with 2 children, I met her 19 years ago, I was 8 years older than her, and she early 20's at the time, I was 31. We got along great, we were like sister and brother more than lovers, and she told me all kinds of very personal things.

Even though our relationship only lasted 6 months, the brother and sister thing remains to this day, and she tells me things that she would tell no one else.

Here is some of her confessions - 1) She was totally insecure about her looks, and the having hords of guy friends "that really wanted her" was her way of constantly reassuring herself that she was good looking. 2) because she did sleep around a lot, she hated having female freinds because she was afraid that they would think she was a slut, and undermine her flirting with men, by telling them how shallow she really was. 3) she also hated having female friends because they would get jealous of her looks, AND they would get very jealous of her flirting and touchy feely kissing with as many guys as she could act that way with, and it would really cause problems if one of the flirty guys was with one of her girl friends. 4) she also felt that jealousy, anger, and rage were displays of affection. In other words, if she flirted, hugged, kissed, and possibly even slept around, and her man did not get angry and rage at her in jealous fits, she felt he didn't love her enough. She also confessed that she loved to make them jealous and angry and loved to control them, and play with their heads and make them feel like crap, she thought it was funny that they would get all depressed and upset when she was out with her guy friends.

She told me about 2 years ago, that it was because I never reacted to any of her crap that she felt that I didn't love her, and that our brother sister thing was why she trusted me, and has always talked to me about all sorts of things that she never talks to anyone else about. She explained that I helped her a lot with all of her screwy behavior and that because of the things that I told her she was able to get past a lot of her messed up thinking and get a life.

She told me right before she got married to her husband NOW of 10 years that some of the things I told her changed her life - they were "Some day you will grow old, and your looks will fade, and if having people reassure you that you are good looking is what defines you, you'll be lost. Define yourself with something beyond your looks but that is in your heart, like something you love to do". I also told her, that everyone, no matter what they look like, has something special to offer, and is a gift to the world around them, and that is NOT dependent on looks - hell look at Steven Hawkins, and what he has given the world Very Happy And last but not least, it is your heart that defines you, and the joy you take from giving pleasure to the world and helping those, that are your friends, family, and loved ones. I asked her, "is that how you want to go through life, making those that love you, feel like crap, feel jealous, upset, and inferior, while you build your ego with shallow persuits like having a whole bunch of men around you that want you because you are good looking, or do you want to go through life helping people to feel better about themselves, find happiness, find inner peace?" the choice is yours, like it is mine, and everyone elses Cool Because in the end everyone dies, some of us grow old, and all the things of youth pass, along with beauty, but what remains is the things with heart, those that you did to help others, and where you worked to make a difference in the world. Having hord of men that want to screw you because you are "good looking" and playing up on that, is shallow at best, and destructive at worst!

Your courage now, is to not let it affect or destroy you, follow your heart and stay centered, which is easier said than done!

Good luck with her, and I will also tell you in closing, that no matter how it turns out for you, she will always have a place in your heart......this is coming from an old man Laughing
tingkagol
That's a great post BigGeek. That pretty much sums up that kind of female behaviour. When I was still single, I always thought I could spot an insecure girl a mile away. I'd admire her beauty, but stayed away from her as much as possible. Insecurity can make a girl do all sorts of crazy stuff, most specially when they think they deserve to be treated in a certain way (VIP treatment, if I may) just cause they're gorgeous.
Ophois
First of all, examine a few things:

1 - Bar owners let her in underage. Why don't they let you in? Because they "can't"? Or because they "won't"? Obviously they can, if they let her in. So the bar owners choose not to let you in, and your girlfriend chooses not to help you get in. That would make me suspicious.

2 - She goes to these bars that don't let you in, with guys that want her(she knows it), and she doesn't seem to think there's a problem with that? She also doesn't seem to think there's a problem with being in a place which breaks the law to let her in, but refuses to let you in, with guys who try to kiss her? Not good.

3 - She hangs out with mostly guys. That's not really a big deal on the surface, many girls are like this. But, the guys she is associating with try to kiss her, which is disrespectful of the fact that she is in a relationship. It's also a show of disrespect to you, on her part, for continuing to associate with guys like this. Another bad sign.

I won't go too far into what I think her problem is, I will say only that I think she craves the kind of attention that she is getting from these guys. The fact that she disregards your feelings about it is, to me, very bad. Even if you hadn't said anything about it, she has to know that you aren't comfortable with her going to bars that refuse to let you in with guys who are obviously trying to 'hook up' with her. I don't see this ending in a good way, unless you do something about it. She is an adult, and can do as she likes, so you can't really tell her to stop.

What I would do, is ask her how she would feel if the tables were turned. If you were going to bars that wouldn't let her in, with a group of girls that wanted to sleep with you and were not afraid to show it. I imagine she would be pretty pissed. It might make her think twice about the way she treats you.

And people wonder why I like being single.
mattyj
Without knowing the situation in full, i would say your girlfriend is a flirt, and likes the male attention

I dont think she is cheating on you or kissing the other guys or anything, but the male attention makes her feel good, knowing that she can still attract other guys even though she is with you

If it is "eating" at you like you say, you have to tell her to stop, or at least be allowed to come along, otherwise your relationship is doomed to fail
Da Rossa
Hondaridr58 wrote:
Alright fella's I need some opinions. I have a beautiful girlfriend that I care alot about, she doesnt have many girlfriends but has more guys wanting to be with her than I can count. We're both 20, but she knows the owners of quite a few bars in town and gets into them without problem. She goes, and I cant. The thing is she is going with these guys that want her, and try to kiss her everytime. I dont want to tell her that she cant go do that anymore, but at the same time its really eating at me. She is very aware that it eats at me, but doesnt seem to make much of an effort to do anything about it. Im very good about not getting close to other girls, or hang out with girls one on one just out of respect for her... Meh I dont know, what do you guys think I should do?


It's not a very good situation, but not that bad either.

The first option is to report those bar owners to the police of letting young people in. I'm pretty sure you won't think about it.

But the other thing is, while all those older men try kissing her, you are the one she's with. You win, they lose.

Of course you must show you care, so bother talking to her a bit about it. Tell her that you like her a lot, and that it's a very uncomfortable situation when she gets in a bar you can't, specially when you're dealing with a dangerous fauna.
deanhills
I think you should "dump" her. Tell her what you would like in a girlfriend, that obviously she is not that kind of girl, as she likes to hang out with other guys, you would like your girl to be your girl. You don't want to infringe on her freedom, so would like her to get on with her life as she pleases. You would also like to get on with your life as it pleases you.

Then get on with your life, go out and make new friends. There is a very good chance that she is going to pay attention, if she is at all serious about you. If she is serious about you, she will put up a fight and make an effort to save the relationship. If she does not pay attention, then you would have secured the best position for yourself. You will then know for sure that she is not the right girl for you, and she is not really that much into you.
sochapter
I'm with basically all you guys. If you girl know that you are feeling tough about her meeting and seeing other guys and doesn't want to do a damn thing about it, it also (might) reflect the thing that she really doesn't care about you that much. I'm sure the problem isn't in you because I've lived through a stage of life with almost the same problem. I had a relationship with this girl when I was 16 and when we arranged for a date in town, she just called me that she is with her friend and is gonna be late for an hour. Ok, I said, I'll wait for you. The hour passed by and no sign of her. I call her and she tells that it's gonna be an hour more. And when we finally met, we didn't have that much time to spend with each other. It made me jealous and angry and finally I made the decision to dump her and that was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Now I'm in a very healthy, longterm relationship with the love of my life and I have intention to leave her ever.

Hope you find a solution to your problem Smile

Greetings from Finland.
Sincererly yours, Tero.
andysart380
big geek summed it up....shes gonna end up with some ******
tukun2009manit
Hondaridr58 wrote:
Alright fella's I need some opinions. I have a beautiful girlfriend that I care alot about, she doesnt have many girlfriends but has more guys wanting to be with her than I can count. We're both 20, but she knows the owners of quite a few bars in town and gets into them without problem. She goes, and I cant. The thing is she is going with these guys that want her, and try to kiss her everytime. I dont want to tell her that she cant go do that anymore, but at the same time its really eating at me. She is very aware that it eats at me, but doesnt seem to make much of an effort to do anything about it. Im very good about not getting close to other girls, or hang out with girls one on one just out of respect for her... Meh I dont know, what do you guys think I should do?



try not to think more about it
azoundria
I think you have some choices...

1) You can dump her... and she'll probably end up with someone else and have a miserable life. Then focus on becoming successful and there are plenty more fish in the sea.

2) You can keep going... and why expect any different result?

-or-

3) You can do something spontaneous... something that reaffirms your love and desire for her. Something out of the ordinary. I don't mean to imply anything, but obviously if she's still looking it means she's not 100% happy with you. Probably, you're boring. But it could be a lot of reasons.

And I don't mean just like dinner and a movie. I mean, something you're never ever done before. Something to amaze her, surprise her, and get her absolutely ecstatic about you.
Hondaridr58
Thanks alot for all of your input guys, I appreciate it , and Big Geek, that was quite the response, very wise words, thank you. I ended up talking to her more about it, I basically said "I really like you alot, but I cant deal with you going out with guys anymore, you wouldnt like it if I went out with Ashley, would you? " (Ashley is my friend of a long time who has always liked me) after a few moments of silence, she looked at me and said "You know what.... your absolutely right. There really is nothing im actually getting out of these guys besides attention, and you give me plenty. Plus I WOULDN'T deal with you doing this, so this is completely unfair. Im sorry babe, it wont happen anymore."... Shocked I was completely stunned. Since I said that, she hasnt gone out, hasn't been flirty and I couldn't be happier. Oh man, If things would just stay like this....
ponda
Hondaridr58 wrote:
Alright fella's I need some opinions. I have a beautiful girlfriend that I care alot about, she doesnt have many girlfriends but has more guys wanting to be with her than I can count. We're both 20, but she knows the owners of quite a few bars in town and gets into them without problem. She goes, and I cant. The thing is she is going with these guys that want her, and try to kiss her everytime. I dont want to tell her that she cant go do that anymore, but at the same time its really eating at me. She is very aware that it eats at me, but doesnt seem to make much of an effort to do anything about it. Im very good about not getting close to other girls, or hang out with girls one on one just out of respect for her... Meh I dont know, what do you guys think I should do?


I understand you like her, but as a girl who has friends that act like that with their boyfriends I can tell you that she won't change and she sure as hell doesn't have the same amount of respect for you that you have for her...Maybe you should seriously talk to her about this.
jwellsy
YOU COUNT FOR SOMETHING HERE TOO! Stand up for yourself, that your feelings matter too. Odds are that will piss her off. She likes having you on a string wrapped around her little finger. Does she use guilt trips to keep you in line?

Dude, wake up. If she's out drinking with a bunch of other guys there's more then just kissing going on. Her and at least one guy in each bar are sexually enticing each other and sooner or later if not already will act on those urges during a good drunk. That's what happens in bars and after hours parties.

If somebody wants to be with you, they will be. You will never change anyone other than yourself.

She is having fun and has a lot to learn and experience. You're a backup plan. A lot of people keep 3 scripts going. Their current signifigant other, thier back up old flame and their next future ex.

If you really want to get into bars, learn how to play an instrument and join a band. Bass guitar is probably the easiest. You'll have tons of chicks flirting with you then.
BigGeek
Hondaridr58 wrote:
Thanks alot for all of your input guys, I appreciate it , and Big Geek, that was quite the response, very wise words, thank you. I ended up talking to her more about it, I basically said "I really like you alot, but I cant deal with you going out with guys anymore, you wouldnt like it if I went out with Ashley, would you? " (Ashley is my friend of a long time who has always liked me) after a few moments of silence, she looked at me and said "You know what.... your absolutely right. There really is nothing im actually getting out of these guys besides attention, and you give me plenty. Plus I WOULDN'T deal with you doing this, so this is completely unfair. Im sorry babe, it wont happen anymore."... Shocked I was completely stunned. Since I said that, she hasnt gone out, hasn't been flirty and I couldn't be happier. Oh man, If things would just stay like this....


WOW, I'm impressed that she would be so considerate of your feelings. You might have yourself a good relationship there!!! Two people that can actually step back and put themselves in the shoes of their partner, and honestly consider the other person's feelings is a rare and special thing. If the two of you can keep that up, and work on life together, you just might have a productive relationship.

Hope it works out for the two of you Very Happy
taytay
is the beauty worth the pain? Girls like this tend to really bug me. It seems to be the really fine lookin ones who are the worst at it. There is more to love than beauty though Wink Not saying I wouldn't endure a little pain for a pretty girl! It all depends on where Your limits lay. lie? lye? I dunno.
Flirting101
I read every single entry before mine and each and every one of them were the same. Someone telling you about when they failed and the way it is like how you're going to fail. Read the 48 Laws of Power - stay away from failure and those who are awash in it...because it's contagious. Right now you have not failed, but you have developed a bad habit.

They claim you have two choices... dump her or live with it. Anytime you like to see things this way there are two choices. You can always dismiss the thousands of other choices and leave yourself two unpleasant ones so you can fail and it not be your fault.

It might not have been your fault before because you could have claimed ignorance. You can't claim ignorance any longer. Now, after finishing this post, if you fail, you will have done so willfully and can blame no one but yourself. You see, before you did not understand how women work, but now I'm going to give you the opportunity to control any woman and have her thank you for it.

Your GF is exhibiting normal behavior. You have been okay up til now but have done nothing great. Don't let others who claim that beautiful women will only really fall for "bad boys" convince you. Yes, they only fall for bad boys that's not what I don't want you to let them convince you of... you see everyone of these guys is afraid of that girl, afraid of becoming the bad boy that she will revel in, and they are afraid of making any real changes. They have many reasons to cover their fear. Listen to them if you like... I'm only asking you to answer one question... what do you want? Not, what are you afraid of... what do you want?

If you want beautiful women to lose control around you, then you're going to have to make a change in the way you see these things. Change your Environment... since you are around her it will also change her environment. Her new environment will control her instincts. Because it's instincts that tell her who she wants to be around... and right now that isn't you. You make her feel secure... but that's NOT your job. The need to make a woman feel secure comes from insecurity. Her mind isn't aware of that... but you can be damn sure her instincts are. That's why she has no problem leaving you and going to the club...

This is where you can begin...

#1 - You do not care if she goes to the club. But if she does... you can't be seen as waiting around for her. You must "punish" her by doing something more fun than she is doing. Never become angry or irrational... that just takes you 2 steps backwards. Instead pretend what she did never happened. No matter what she did. Don't ask about it, when she brings it up change the subject.

The reason she brings it up is something called a Compliance Test... she wants to gauge your reaction. Don't have one. As an Alpha Male you don't have reactions to her stuff... you don't even care about your stuff. All the other guys fall over themselves to listen to her and react how they think she wants them to. But the guy she will feel attracted to will not react at all.

How do you do something that was more fun than her? Lie. If you find like most "nice guys" that you don't want to do that... simply be unavailable to her for that night and the next day by not being where she is and not answering her phone calls... then if she asks why... simply don't answer. She will assume the worst which is the best and you will have accomplished what you needed to accomplish without lying. Or, if possible, do something more fun than she is doing. This usually isn't possible with guys in your position because if you were able to have this kind of fun it would be because you were NOT this kind of needy guy. So you're back to A and B anyway.

#2 - Don't avoid other girls. If you're with her ALWAYS take another girl's call. Don't explain who the other girl is. Don't answer her questions... just say something like, "Mind your own business." Say it nicely if you need to. Don't worry you'll work up to being brusque. I know, you're afraid to do this. Think about this... all the other guys who have answered here were afraid too. Do you want to end up with a horror story answering other guys' questions about relationships with your own horror stories (this one) or do you want to win? I do this for a living... i KNOW what I'm talking about because I've seen it work with a few hundred other guys... can any of them say that? They are guessing... do you really want to take that chance?

#3 - Break plans with her. Try not to explain. Don't get angry, defensive, or abusive. Don't display any emotion other than "it's cool, no big deal" and you'll be fine. If she questions you, just playfully laugh and say, "nosy." or "I love how you want to know everything I do." then walk off. IT IS NOT A CONTEST. She will be able to tell (instinctively) if you are trying to 1-up her. (besides that is just bragging and bragging will drag you down fast!) Instead, stick to the plan. Know that you need to not care (not because it's right or anything stupid like that... but because that is how you win!) and anything she asks you, you must try to avoid answering while not caring.

#4 - NEVER try to create "connections". You know remind her what a special thing you have, look into her eyes and tell her how much you love her, remind her of the first time you made love, anything like that. You must allow her to create connections or they are worthless to her. Sure, she doesn't want to hurt your feelings so she will go through the motions... but she isn't feeling what you are feeling. Just the way it works... I didn't make the rules. If she drags it out of you, by badgering you and crying and such you might say, "I guess I love you." or "I might love you." or "well, I care about you a lot." but then you immediately wash it all away with... "but what does it matter?" and walk away. Then she will try to make the connections and that way the connections will mean something to her... until you acknowledge them. So never fully acknowledge them and when you do immediately take them away again as I just did.

I do this for a living.

Trust me.
PartyPros
I have run into this problem as well. For the longest time I didn't day much about it, although she knew that it really bothered me. After it got to a point where it was rediculous, I finally poot my foot down, but in a nice way.

Simply bring up the idea of if your roles were switched, you were the one with girls all over you and you enjoyed hanging out with them. How would she feel? I am willing to bet you that she wouldn't put up with it. When it gets to a point that it has an effect on your relationship, or your personal well being, she needs to decide what she cares more about. She either loves you and wants to make you happy, or she wants to party with other guys.

In the end, relationships aren't easy. Both sides need to make sacrifices to make it work the way it should. There comes a time when everyone needs to settle down and decide how they want their life to go.

Whatever you do, and however you choose to handle the situation, don't be rude about it. Stay calm, and try to make sure she stays as calm as you can. At least talk about it, after all, relationships and trust are based on communication.

Good luck to you both, and I hope it works out in whatever way is best.
apple
Hondaridr58 wrote:
Thanks alot for all of your input guys, I appreciate it , and Big Geek, that was quite the response, very wise words, thank you. I ended up talking to her more about it, I basically said "I really like you alot, but I cant deal with you going out with guys anymore, you wouldnt like it if I went out with Ashley, would you? " (Ashley is my friend of a long time who has always liked me) after a few moments of silence, she looked at me and said "You know what.... your absolutely right. There really is nothing im actually getting out of these guys besides attention, and you give me plenty. Plus I WOULDN'T deal with you doing this, so this is completely unfair. Im sorry babe, it wont happen anymore."... Shocked I was completely stunned. Since I said that, she hasnt gone out, hasn't been flirty and I couldn't be happier. Oh man, If things would just stay like this....


glad to know that things have worked out for you. How are things now? Still good?
iyepes
Lets wait until you both get 21 and can go together. I hope your relationship can last and improve as you said before. Nice girl, she elected you over those guys attention, that sounds great.
Ophois
Flirting101 wrote:
I read every single entry before mine and each and every one of them were the same.
If they all seem the same to you, then you haven't read them all.
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Someone telling you about when they failed and the way it is like how you're going to fail.
Now I am certain you didn't read all the posts, because that is not what I, or a few others, even came close to saying.
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Read the 48 Laws of Power - stay away from failure and those who are awash in it...because it's contagious.
First of all, don't ever read any self help books or these "power" books to figure out a relationship. Those books are all mumbo-jumbo. A romantic relationship carries too many complex emotions with it for a book to boil it down to a set of rules, goals, or whatever else they try to sell you.
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Right now you have not failed, but you have developed a bad habit.
Maybe this is the first time this has happened to this guy. That wouldn't quite qualify as a "habit".
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They claim you have two choices... dump her or live with it.
And you say you read every post first. There are a number of people, myself included, who never said any such thing.
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Anytime you like to see things this way there are two choices. You can always dismiss the thousands of other choices and leave yourself two unpleasant ones so you can fail and it not be your fault.
Let me guess... there are 48 choices?
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It might not have been your fault before because you could have claimed ignorance. You can't claim ignorance any longer.
I don't think he is claiming ignorance. He's just asking for advice.
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Now, after finishing this post, if you fail, you will have done so willfully and can blame no one but yourself.
That's a bit self serving. "Failure" doesn't even come into this scenario. It's not about "winning" or "losing" or success or failure. It's about the actions of his girlfriend, and which actions he should take, if any.
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You see, before you did not understand how women work, but now I'm going to give you the opportunity to control any woman and have her thank you for it.
Let me be the first to point out how disgusting this is. How to "control" a woman, and have her thank him for it? That is pathetic, egotistic, and childish. Grow up.
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Your GF is exhibiting normal behavior.
There is no authority to determine what "normal" behavior is within a romantic relationship. She is exhibiting behavior that upsets him, nothing more or less.
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You have been okay up til now but have done nothing great.
Who says he was Ok with it up till now? Maybe it was eating at him the whole time. And he has done nothing great? How the hell would you know?
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Don't let others who claim that beautiful women will only really fall for "bad boys" convince you. Yes, they only fall for bad boys that's not what I don't want you to let them convince you of... you see everyone of these guys is afraid of that girl, afraid of becoming the bad boy that she will revel in, and they are afraid of making any real changes.
So... you are saying he should become a "bad boy"? And again, try not to speak on behalf of "every one of these guys". You are on what, your third post? You don't know any of these guys well enough to know what they are or are not afraid of.
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They have many reasons to cover their fear. Listen to them if you like... I'm only asking you to answer one question... what do you want? Not, what are you afraid of... what do you want?
Well duh! You think this guy hasn't been asking himself that this whole time? I know you are trying to sound like the wise old 'playa', but it's coming off extremely cheesy.
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If you want beautiful women to lose control around you, then you're going to have to make a change in the way you see these things.
Hey genius, he only seems to want one woman, and I'm pretty sure he wants her to gain control of herself, rather than lose control.
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Change your Environment... since you are around her it will also change her environment.
Maybe that's not an option for one or both of them.
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Her new environment will control her instincts. Because it's instincts that tell her who she wants to be around... and right now that isn't you.
"Control her instincts", huh? I thought you were giving advice on how to make her "lose control" around him.
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You make her feel secure... but that's NOT your job.
How do you know how he makes her feel? Are you reading this right out of your 48 pillars of worthless antics book?
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The need to make a woman feel secure comes from insecurity.
I'm not even going to point out all the things that are wrong with this sentence...
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Her mind isn't aware of that... but you can be damn sure her instincts are. That's why she has no problem leaving you and going to the club...
You make an awful lot of claims as to what's going on within other peoples' heads.
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This is where you can begin...
Great, here come the steps...
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#1 - You do not care if she goes to the club. But if she does... you can't be seen as waiting around for her. You must "punish" her by doing something more fun than she is doing. Never become angry or irrational... that just takes you 2 steps backwards. Instead pretend what she did never happened. No matter what she did. Don't ask about it, when she brings it up change the subject.
Great idea. First, when she does something that makes you uncomfortable, punish her with more fun, then avoid the topic altogether. Did you learn this at the ADHD School of Dating?
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The reason she brings it up is something called a Compliance Test... she wants to gauge your reaction. Don't have one.
Because women just drool over guys who don't respond to them. This is the most moronic relationship advice I have ever seen.
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As an Alpha Male you don't have reactions to her stuff... you don't even care about your stuff.
Oh for cryin' out loud. This "Alpha Male" crap is ridiculous. He isn't trying to dominate her after bringing down a caribou in the Alaskan Yukon.
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All the other guys fall over themselves to listen to her and react how they think she wants them to. But the guy she will feel attracted to will not react at all.
You have NO IDEA WHAT THIS GIRL IS ATTRACTED TO. Seriously, this drivel is full of self-help book garbage. Do you honestly think a majority of women like men who have no reaction to them?
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#2 - Don't avoid other girls. If you're with her ALWAYS take another girl's call. Don't explain who the other girl is.
I laughed so hard at this one I almost pissed myself. You did read this guys original post, right? You do understand that what you are advising him to do is exactly the thing that she does, and it upsets him, right? What makes you think it will have any other effect when the tables are turned? Are you really that goddamn stupid?
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Don't answer her questions... just say something like, "Mind your own business." Say it nicely if you need to. Don't worry you'll work up to being brusque
You are a moron. If I ever saw a guy treat a woman this way I would knock him on his ass.
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I know, you're afraid to do this. Think about this... all the other guys who have answered here were afraid too.
Wrong again. Fear doesn't even factor into it. We just don't treat women like dirt. Guys who act this way eventually get a well earned beat-down. Keep that in mind the next time you follow your own advice here.
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Do you want to end up with a horror story answering other guys' questions about relationships with your own horror stories (this one) or do you want to win?
Scroll up a bit. I said it's not about "winning". It's about having a healthy relationship where both parties are happy, something you are obviously not concerned about.
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I do this for a living... i KNOW what I'm talking about because I've seen it work with a few hundred other guys... can any of them say that?
HA! You are so full of it. You do what for a living? Tell guys how to treat a woman like shit? I wonder how you can do anything with your head that far up your ass...
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They are guessing... do you really want to take that chance?
I'm sure he would rather go with your fail-safe advice on treating her like crap in order to get her to like him. You know, there are girls like that, but that does not create a healthy relationship, which is what this guy wants.
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#3 - Break plans with her. Try not to explain. Don't get angry, defensive, or abusive. Don't display any emotion other than "it's cool, no big deal" and you'll be fine.
I can tell you something right now, for a fact. Break plans with her, without explaining yourself, and she will eventually leave you. You will think you are so cool, sitting there saying "it's cool, no big deal", and she will hang up the phone, and before you know it, she will be getting balled by some other guy who paid attention to her and reacted to her. I guarantee you that, as I have personally been that other guy. Take this dipsh*t advice, and I promise you, she will disappear.
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If she questions you, just playfully laugh and say, "nosy." or "I love how you want to know everything I do." then walk off. IT IS NOT A CONTEST.
If it's not a contest, why do you keep stressing that he needs to "win" and be the "Alpha Male"? Every piece of advice you have given turns it into a contest.
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She will be able to tell (instinctively) if you are trying to 1-up her. (besides that is just bragging and bragging will drag you down fast!)
Yeah, bragging will do that. Especially bragging about how much you think you know about women, when in fact, you know next to nothing.
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Instead, stick to the plan. Know that you need to not care (not because it's right or anything stupid like that... but because that is how you win!) and anything she asks you, you must try to avoid answering while not caring.
I thought it wasn't a contest. Make up your mind, oh wise one.
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#4 - NEVER try to create "connections". You know remind her what a special thing you have, look into her eyes and tell her how much you love her, remind her of the first time you made love, anything like that.
Women hate that kind of thing. If you didn't catch my sarcasm there, let me spell it out for you. Everything you just said right there, are things you absolutely should do.
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You must allow her to create connections or they are worthless to her. Sure, she doesn't want to hurt your feelings so she will go through the motions... but she isn't feeling what you are feeling.
Yet again, you have no clue what this girl is feeling or thinking.
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Just the way it works... I didn't make the rules.
You have been making rules non-stop. Not that they are worth a shit or anything.
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If she drags it out of you, by badgering you and crying and such you might say, "I guess I love you." or "I might love you." or "well, I care about you a lot." but then you immediately wash it all away with... "but what does it matter?" and walk away.
Downplay how you feel about her, then tell her it doesn't really matter, then walk away. Sage advice. I hope you don't ever multiply. Anyone who follows this particular instruction will very quickly find their girl in the arms(or bed) of a guy who actually cares.
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Then she will try to make the connections and that way the connections will mean something to her... until you acknowledge them. So never fully acknowledge them and when you do immediately take them away again as I just did.
So there's all this build-up to allowing this girl to "create" her own connections, and then he's just supposed to crush them? Are you serious? This has to be a joke... it's almost like you are trying to get this guys girlfriend to dump him on the spot. Is that your plan? If so, it's fu*king brilliant! If you are being serious about all this, you are probably one of the most worthless pieces of scum on this entire planet.
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I do this for a living.
I seriously doubt you do "this", or anything else, for a living.
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Trust me.
Not in a million years.
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