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How do you tell your gf/bf they're ugly?





Denvis
Title says it all.

Although, I want to know a some what, nice way to tell your partner they're ugly. Any suggestions?

Edit:

Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 11:17 am

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH There's so much hate.

First of all,

- I'm not going out with anyone and I haven't been for a while
- I haven't dated someone that is ugly
- There are many reasons why somebody would date someone that's ugly (money, self benefits, a dare, personality)
- No, it's highly unlikely to fall in love at first sight with someone you don't know that isn't attractive

A video I saw on YouTube named "How to tell your boyfriend he's a bad kisser" gave me the idea of 'How to tell your gf/bf they're ugly'. Clearly this was a bad idea, proved by the comments by love "experts" above this post.

So to anybody that still thinks i'm going out with someone ugly and i'm planning to tell them they're hideous. I'm not. Bugger off.
_________________
Bluedoll
You could start taking up a great interest in makeup? As in every form of communication we might just try being honest but using discretion. Like bad breath we might simply suggest a solution to the problem.

On the other hand they say beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder so perhaps unless hideous some pleasant feature can be found. After all we all don't have to be movie starts do we?

It is amazing how humour and laughter can help a situation. You could say something like,
"Why don't you change your attitude to bring out the better side of yourself!" or is that too forward?


Razz Rolling Eyes Very Happy
DGreatPronKing
umm.. I don't know about you guys but, why would you say to your gf/bf that she/he is ugly? I mean, cmon guys, why would you pick an ugly person to be your bg/gf? And if you do, why would you tell them that? I don't know what to say because for me, everyone is unique and beautiful/handsome in their own way. People's standard in beauty is only socially constructed, thus another persons perception of beauty may vary from one another. ^__^
truespeed
I think you should post her pic on here along with your own and we can do an whose the ugliest poll.
chengg
If you really love him/her
it doesn't matter if he/she is ugly or not and if you don't love him/her, why are you with him/her in the first place? It seriously does not matter how other people think of YOUR gf/bf. It's how you feel.
What is the point of having a good looking gf/bf? The only reason you two are together should be because of caring and loving for each other, not using the other person to show off.
Greatking
i believe beauty does really lie in the eyes of the beholder and i i believe God created everybody beautiful. it may be the way people carry themselves that hides thier beauty. your girlfriend or boyfriend must have had some good quailties that attracted you to them. if u dont like the way they may look then u must use discretion to bring out thier beauty. to tell a person they are ugly without ready to provide solution them its of no use.
Denvis
What if, there are external entities that say "oh she isn't your type" "eww, you have bad taste". Comments such as those, really influence you. It's hard to surpass them Confused
Bluedoll
Not really sure what you are saying Denvis or even want to say and do hope it is ok if I come quote you like this but for the sake of clarity, in understanding your question and only so that I might comment correctly; you are saying the following.

Someone or people close to you have commented on your friend and think you can do better, what they are saying about your friend is not exactly a lie and it bothers you!

Tell me if this interpetation of what you are hearing is correct or incorrect please.

_____________________________________________________________________


My response to the above would be, the comments may not have to do with external features only or it may? In any case, one has to justify in your own mind, I mean it is not for anyone else to decide for us, what kind of a relationship we want or don't want and to accept our friends as they are.

Another way to say this is it like saying one guy has the prettiest girl friend in town which is super great but an another guy may have a wildflower, not as pretty however they share something very special, something the others might not have?

It is really about what we want I suppose!
Ophois
Denvis wrote:
What if, there are external entities that say "oh she isn't your type" "eww, you have bad taste". Comments such as those, really influence you. It's hard to surpass them

I assume from this statement that you didn't think this person was ugly when you started dating them? I also assume that they didn't just suddenly become ugly. Which leaves me only with the thought that you have some truly shitty friends who think she is ugly, and you are giving in to 'peer pressure'.

Don't fall for that. Don't start seeing this girl the way your so-called friends see her. You started dating her because you were attracted to her, right? If the only thing that has changed is your friends opinions, then maybe you need to get better friends instead of telling this girl she is ugly. If you give in to these 'external entities', then there will be an ugly person in your relationship. It just won't be her.
deanhills
Denvis wrote:
Title says it all.

Although, I want to know a some what, nice way to tell your partner they're ugly. Any suggestions?
I don't understand, why do you need to tell them something like that? Once they are your gf/bf, do looks count as much? Have you thought that maybe you could be ugly too ..... Shocked So maybe you should invert the question, how would you react to someone close to you telling you you are ugly? Personally I would treat it as a joke and have a great laugh about it, or if the guy/gal is serious, tell him/her to take a hike ....
macky
DGreatPronKing wrote:
umm.. I don't know about you guys but, why would you say to your gf/bf that she/he is ugly? I mean, cmon guys, why would you pick an ugly person to be your bg/gf? And if you do, why would you tell them that? I don't know what to say because for me, everyone is unique and beautiful/handsome in their own way. People's standard in beauty is only socially constructed, thus another persons perception of beauty may vary from one another. ^__^


DGreatPronKing was right..an absolutely right. That questions only trigger to people having a partner which they don't love that much or simply what i called "pass time". But if you really want to know how to do that well i have some few suggestions without hurting your partner feelings. First of all you should know your partner very well, i mean how she/he cope or deal with some bad or negative suggestions. Then you can do it in a way that your only kidding, preventing your smile on your face. The best way to do it is put it in a joke. Something like your just want to make her laugh but deep inside of course we know what your intention is... Very Happy
apple
I hold the same view as many other posters, why would you want to tell your partner that they are ugly? Is it cause a 3rd party told you they were ugly? if not are you admitting that you got involved with a person who's physical appearance does not hold your interest?

You post does not give any information and only makes those willing to respond post a list of questions. Maybe you'd like to take a few mins and explain why you feel what you do etc...
mattyj
Denvis wrote:
What if, there are external entities that say "oh she isn't your type" "eww, you have bad taste". Comments such as those, really influence you. It's hard to surpass them Confused


Wow, you are a weak pathetic person if you are going to let the comments of others determine how you feel about your GF, thats just sad

You obviously found her attractive when you started dating her but someone says you have bad taste now you think shes ugly?

Dump her and let her find a decent guy thats not a shallow moron
azoundria
Maybe your friends are saying she's ugly so you'll dump her and they can take her?
lagoon
Why would you have a relationship with someone you consider to be ugly? I very much doubt that they just became ugly during your tenure.
Insanity
Well, that could happen. Maybe they gained a lot of weight in a short amount of time; this would make a lot of people uglier to someone. I'm not saying all fat people are ugly, but it could lower the level of attractiveness. But yes, I think one of the more important factors in a relationship is physical attractiveness to each other. If you don't find her attractive, maybe you should rethink your relationship, especially if you're going to commit sometime soon.

To answer your question, you should just tell her that you don't find her as attractive anymore. Don't go all out and call her ugly to her face, to save her self-esteem and confidence of course. But try to be direct and honest, which I think is the most important thing.
Silayon
Yea, I really see no point in telling your partner he/she is ugly. Seriously... what good can it bring? If you really love them, you shouldn't notice they're ugly in the first place. I think you should break it off with him/her, it seems pretty clear it won't work out.
xalophus
Denvis wrote:
a some what, nice way to tell your partner they're ugly. Any suggestions?

Oh, I have one !

How about smashing your own face in with a rock ?
Then when your partner ask you about what happened, you can say that you did it because you love him/her so much and wanted to look like them.
They'll get the message.


... and you'll get what you deserve for being so inconsiderate.

Ofcourse, here I'm assuming you only want to tell him/her that they're ugly, and not actually dump them.
If that's not the case, you should not have to worry about being "nice" when you tell them.
jwellsy
This is soooo wrong, on many different levels.
You don't stand up for your gf when someone puts her down, that's wrong.
Your image is more important to you than her feelings.

If you really feel that way, the question should be what's the best way to break up? Don't keep stringing her along. Be honest, but you don't have to be cruel. Being cruel is bad karma.
Nancy08
"Love is blind"...He he he


but, seriously, in love, we need acceptance.

Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.
Arty
Well, just look into his/her eyes, and say



"ur ugly."
mk12327
I share the same sentiments as the others here.

Firstly, i'm sure you don't really mean "ugly" but rather certain aspect of him/her that has a room for improvement. Because like most have said, i do not think you would date this person in the first place i you find him/her ugly. There must be something that makes you like/love her when the 2 of you started out. Another possibility is that his/her personality (which you only found out after being with him/her) is so bad that it make him/her "ugly" on the inside.

Secondly, if you really love your partner, you would be forgiving to his/her weaknesses. Enough said.

Thirdly, if you are affected due to the fact that your friends are saying alot of bad things about your partner, you are indeed weak in the mind. Learn to have your own opinion on beauty since if you ever marry your partner, you are the one living with him/her, NOT your friends.
apple
so this person never came back to this topic?
natilovesmike
well, _ugly_ is a relative term...maybe what you think is ugly I think is beautiful. So, if you think your partner is ugly...you better break up that relationship and find someone you like...because you clearly don't like this person.

If there is anything in particular that bothers you, like a mannerism then you can try and point that out...but only if its really important or you think its making your partner look stupid in front of everbody...otherwise just take the person as it is.
andysart380
ive got this problem shes kinda pretty but not really my type of body shes to small all around and shes kinda ugly so yeah theres no easy way to say that too them without making them feel like shit for the rest of their life...so dont do it just dump her and let the next guy say it.
iyepes
I would never tell my couple that he is ugly, because I would never elect an ugly partner. Don't missunderstand me, but if he is my couple, it's a must that I find him attractive, even if the whole neighborhood thinks the opposite than me, I have to see him handsome, or I will never start dating him on the first place.

But if my couple start dressing unpropperly, of having bad modals, well, those things can be discussed gently, like suggestions, like, I prefer you dress this way when we are together, or I like more this suit than the one you used the other day. There's always a way to drive people to a better presentation, and a kind way has the best results.
pll
if it's your Girlfriend or boyfriend, it means that you like him/her that way.
And that said... I don't see why you would need to show him/her that he/she is ugly.
mk12327
apple wrote:
so this person never came back to this topic?


I wonder why he was back to check out the replies. Might be interesting if he tells us more about his part of the story than having us guessing and assuming over here.
guth75
You don't Laughing

Just kidding, but it really depends on how you want to do it, whether you want it to be really, really polite or not, if you want to dump them or not, of course this makes a big deal...
Of course, you did say you want it to be polite, so maybe you could somehow get a conversation to switch to things you don't like about each-other and go from there, but I guess there are many ways. Of course, this has never happened to me before so... yeah...
apple
mk12327 wrote:
apple wrote:
so this person never came back to this topic?


I wonder why he was back to check out the replies. Might be interesting if he tells us more about his part of the story than having us guessing and assuming over here.


I mean why would someone get involved with a person they don't find attractive? Was it a bet? Did he get paid? Was he desperate to get laid?

He leaves too many questions.
ponda
I think that if you can't find anything beautiful about the person you are with to the point that you feel the need to tell them you can't find anything beautiful in them, you probably shouldn't wasting their time while someone else that probably thinks they are beautiful could be spending their time with them.
zbale
Denvis wrote:
Title says it all.

Although, I want to know a some what, nice way to tell your partner they're ugly. Any suggestions?


You're a riot! There is no "nice way to tell your partner they're ugly". As suggested in the comments, why do you go out with a person if you find him or her ugly? And if you love them, how can you find them ugly?
Denvis
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH There's so much hate.

First of all,

- I'm not going out with anyone and I haven't been for a while
- I haven't dated someone that is ugly
- There are many reasons why somebody would date someone that's ugly (money, self benefits, a dare, personality)
- No, it's highly unlikely to fall in love at first sight with someone you don't know that isn't attractive

A video I saw on YouTube named "How to tell your boyfriend he's a bad kisser" gave me the idea of 'How to tell your gf/bf they're ugly'. Clearly this was a bad idea, proved by the comments by love "experts" above this post.

So to anybody that still thinks i'm going out with someone ugly and i'm planning to tell them they're hideous. I'm not. Bugger off.
Crinoid
There are easier ways to break up without making enemy Laughing
RubySlasher
Just tell her she's ugly already– that way she can dump your a$$ and get a hot robot boyfriend.
dreamchaser
actually you don't, because if she is ugly there are two wrong things:

one: you have a poor eye sight and realized that she is ugly in the long term.
(let's face it, its a long way from date / courtship to being bf and gf . And I guess that in the dating process you should have decided if she is ugly or not.)

two: you're gay.
(because maybe she could be ugly because you found someone hotter. the bad thing is you have same gender.)
Denvis
dreamchaser wrote:
actually you don't, because if she is ugly there are two wrong things:

one: you have a poor eye sight and realized that she is ugly in the long term.
(let's face it, its a long way from date / courtship to being bf and gf . And I guess that in the dating process you should have decided if she is ugly or not.)

two: you're gay.
(because maybe she could be ugly because you found someone hotter. the bad thing is you have same gender.)


You sir are an idiot.

Why? I didn't say when would one realize someone is ugly. I asked how to tell them they're ugly. Clearly, the instant you see the person, you will make that decision. Not during the 'dating process'. You're a bigger idiot for your second suggestion. I'm not even going to start on that.

I also don't understand how you think there is a 'long way from dating to being in a relationship'. If you're dating it shows that both party members have interest in each other. If they choose to go out again they're considered a couple. If not, then the best thing to do is to talk about where they're headed in their relationship. Where's the 'long way'?
dreamchaser
Denvis wrote:
dreamchaser wrote:
actually you don't, because if she is ugly there are two wrong things:

one: you have a poor eye sight and realized that she is ugly in the long term.
(let's face it, its a long way from date / courtship to being bf and gf . And I guess that in the dating process you should have decided if she is ugly or not.)

two: you're gay.
(because maybe she could be ugly because you found someone hotter. the bad thing is you have same gender.)


You sir are an idiot.

Why? I didn't say when would one realize someone is ugly. I asked how to tell them they're ugly. Clearly, the instant you see the person, you will make that decision. Not during the 'dating process'. You're a bigger idiot for your second suggestion. I'm not even going to start on that.

I also don't understand how you think there is a 'long way from dating to being in a relationship'. If you're dating it shows that both party members have interest in each other. If they choose to go out again they're considered a couple. If not, then the best thing to do is to talk about where they're headed in their relationship. Where's the 'long way'?


Sir YOU are the bigger idiot, although I think arguing or debating in the forums and net is pointless. But as I remember the title says "How to tell bf/gf if their ugly" meaning you are already together as a bf/gf and telling me that there is no dating process? And on the second suggestion, Perhaps It's true, or the third one came up:

Wait for it:

3: Your a freakin Virgin that desperately got in a girls pants ignoring her looks. And now that you have satisfied your ego. Has noticed that she's freakin "ugly" for you. However let me tell you, check the mirror first and see if your that good looking. Or much better go ask your HOMO boyfriends.
Denvis
dreamchaser wrote:
Denvis wrote:
dreamchaser wrote:
actually you don't, because if she is ugly there are two wrong things:

one: you have a poor eye sight and realized that she is ugly in the long term.
(let's face it, its a long way from date / courtship to being bf and gf . And I guess that in the dating process you should have decided if she is ugly or not.)

two: you're gay.
(because maybe she could be ugly because you found someone hotter. the bad thing is you have same gender.)


You sir are an idiot.

Why? I didn't say when would one realize someone is ugly. I asked how to tell them they're ugly. Clearly, the instant you see the person, you will make that decision. Not during the 'dating process'. You're a bigger idiot for your second suggestion. I'm not even going to start on that.

I also don't understand how you think there is a 'long way from dating to being in a relationship'. If you're dating it shows that both party members have interest in each other. If they choose to go out again they're considered a couple. If not, then the best thing to do is to talk about where they're headed in their relationship. Where's the 'long way'?


Sir YOU are the bigger idiot, although I think arguing or debating in the forums and net is pointless. But as I remember the title says "How to tell bf/gf if their ugly" meaning you are already together as a bf/gf and telling me that there is no dating process? And on the second suggestion, Perhaps It's true, or the third one came up:

Wait for it:

3: Your a freakin Virgin that desperately got in a girls pants ignoring her looks. And now that you have satisfied your ego. Has noticed that she's freakin "ugly" for you. However let me tell you, check the mirror first and see if your that good looking. Or much better go ask your HOMO boyfriends.


You make so many false assumptions.

There is no point in arguing with an idiot, it only drags me down, however it's funny when you respond. You are the idiot

- You are an idiot for assuming I'm homosexual
- You are an idiot for assuming I'm a virgin
- You are an idiot for assuming I have a girlfriend
- You are an idiot for assuming, If I did have a girlfriend. She is ugly

I don't see any bold font "I have a girlfriend and I want to dump her simply because she's ugly."

- You are an idiot for assuming I said exactly what.

The title said "How do you tell your gf/bf they're ugly?". However that doesn't mean I have a partner at all. In other words, the title or the point of this thread is hypothetical. [Said in my previous post]

On another point. You must have misread because, you are an idiot. I didn't say there is no dating process, I said and quote

Denvis wrote:
the instant you see the person, you will make that decision. Not during the 'dating process'.


That decision in the context of determining if someone is ugly or not.

- You are an idiot for assuming I said there was no dating process

Here's another something else, idiot. You assume every girl is beautiful, if not at least reasonable or in other words 'not ugly'. Why? You think because hypothetically I would date then dump someone because that would "satisfied my ego" thus making me gay (as you dearly pointed out). Mate, if anything that's being straight. However it is morally incorrect by my books and I don't practice it. I only proposed it in a thread to see the reactions.

I really didn't wanna make a note of this, I didn't think someone could be such, dare I say. An idiot.

- You are an idiot for assuming every girl is not ugly
- You are an idiot for assuming I would dump someone because I later realized she's ugly
- You are an idiot for assuming I realized she's ugly weeks or months later opposed to the instant I see that her
- You are an idiot for assuming it would satisfy my ego.

Why? Well for one, you don't know me. Like I said, I'm just another person on the internet. You idiot. Don't associate me with someone in the mirror.

- You are an idiot for assuming I was gay because I found an unattractive girl, ugly or unattractive. WHAT?! MY GOD! AN UNATTRACTIVE GIRL, UNATTRACTIVE?! THIS IS MADNESS!

Really?
- Do you think it's homosexual when you find a girl ugly? Yes? Because the answer is No.
- Do you think by being straight you will find every girl attractive? Yes? Because the answer is No.

Tell me something, are you homosexual? Are you influenced by any family members? A role model perhaps?

Because it seems to me, by your logical thinking. You are indeed, homosexual idiot. Dumping a girl because she's ugly renders me gay. Never in my life has anybody proposed that theory. It's never been proposed to me because no one around is dumb enough to even suggest it.

Stop trolling, stop assuming and bugger off.
Ghost Rider103
This is getting a bit out of hand, I'm going to go ahead and close this to prevent further spam/flaming each-other.

-close-
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