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mother-in-law in the house!

I'd like people to present their views on sharing the same accommodation for long periods of time with wife and her mother.

Personally, I find this very very challenging!

My mother-in-law stays at our place for about 5 months in total every year. She is single and takes care after our child. Accommodation is not that small, but I still have to give away my study room for her bedroom. I often need to do work at home, and when she is there, I work at the dinner table or simply on the lap.

Therefore, NO PRIVACY.

As a single woman, she is not at ease with men in general. It is better not to comment on her way of tiding up the house, otherwise she would blow up at me.

Therefore, NO PEACE OF MIND.

If I stop doing house work for some time, she grows more negative towards me (as if I incurred more work on her daughter, which is possibly a sort of an instinct). So, I have to prevent her from doing things in the house that I do anyway when she is away.

Thus I still have to do my usual house work while losing both privacy and peace of mind.

Mother-in-law will carry on with her visits. I have to make them less painful... Rolling Eyes
My view on these situationas is let necessity be necessities friend. What I mean by that is begin to rationalize in your mind a future without your mother-in-law especially when you don’t really like it.

In the mean time try only to see the good parts of this relationship and ignore the bad. If you can think of it as a temporary arrangement (temporary for people can even mean years if you intend to stay with your wife for many many more) and it may function better for you.

Certainly, helping with the raising of your daughter is a big plus and although it may not seem so now having a good relationship with her will benefit you in the future in ways you haven’t even considered yet. Focus only on the postitives.

The only way you are going to be able to fix the negatives is to move to another location with different arrangements in the future.
Is it possible to find a bigger place where she could live in the basement and at the end of the day can retire to? Or a little granny cottage on your property if there is space for it. For the time she is not there you can sub-let it and that may cover the cost for having it? Maybe key to peace can be her accommodation, and having more space for her, so that you can have more space for you? Smile
deanhills wrote:
Maybe key to peace can be her accommodation, and having more space for her, so that you can have more space for you? Smile

I like the idea. If and when my income boosts, I'll start planning the move ahead.

A friend of mine had a similar problem with his ex-wife who visited their grown-up daughter in the town where he lived. He had to rent an apartment for his ex-wife, which made everyone very satisfied. His daughter could come to this apartment and he was free to do whatever he wanted to do in his place. I heard they even started talking about getting married again because they resolved problems involved in the process of being together all the time.

Bluedoll was certainly right about trying to see the good things. So to speak, if you want to be happy, be. As simple as that. Smile
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