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being shy.





chatterbox
I don't know about you people, but i get really shy for some reason when i talk to my girlfriend. Theres a big feeling inside of me, like if somethings going to go wrong, or she doesnt like me much so i back off. But then if i back away from her she might think i dont like her. I dont really know what to do in this situation. Thats all Shocked
andysart380
i have the same problem...i could picture how everything should go or what i would say in my head and she responds fine but you dont know in real life so im real shy like that ...i think you and i are afraid of getting hurt......we should just be ourselves and try whats the worst that can happen...you move on to the next girl/
macky
chatterbox wrote:
I don't know about you people, but i get really shy for some reason when i talk to my girlfriend. Theres a big feeling inside of me, like if somethings going to go wrong, or she doesnt like me much so i back off. But then if i back away from her she might think i dont like her. I dont really know what to do in this situation. Thats all Shocked


Well andysart380 was right, maybe your just afraid to be hurt or to hurt by someone. Let me say this to you, when you want to love a person therefor you must ready for all consequences. What i mean here is prepare for getting hurt because it is the cycle of love life, when you ready to love it means your ready to be hurt and when your ready to be hurt, your ready to be love..

So don't be afraid if sometimes the day seems unlucky for you coz it has an end perhaps not today, tomorrow or yesterday but on the perfect time for you..
apple
macky is right....to love is to risk being heart broken. it does not mean that love is not worth it tho.
Bluedoll
Is it better to communicate and let the other person get to know you? Shyness can be good sometimes too. Quiet is in a way a communication so anything you do may possibly have effects. For me, honesty and openess are important and let the chips fall where they may. Usually how something starts out is the way it will end up to be.
BigGeek
I'm old, and been in love and in more relationships than I care to remember. Some of them loved me, and although I liked them, I was not in love with them, others I was madly in love with, and the end of the relationship broke my heart. One thing I will tell you is that a broken heart is worth it, it is worth being madly in love with someone that feels the same as you do, it is magic and fun, too bad it is also temporary. You know the old saying "it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all".

One thing I will say though, the most heart breaking thing I've ever experienced is to be very much in love with some one, and they tell you they feel the same way, and then once in the relationship they treat you so badly, for so long, that in the end you no longer feel any love for them, I never felt hate for her, but in the end all I wanted was to get free from the painful abusive relationship.

So here are a few rules of love.

No matter how hard you try, and no matter how much you change into someone else, you can't make someone feel love for you that does not. So always be yourself.

Also, if you don't love someone, staying in the relationship in hopes that your feelings will change to love, is just waisting your time and theirs.

And, you can love something or someone with all your heart, and they can treat you so badly, and be so mean, that in the end you no longer love them.

Last but not least....the most important person to learn to love is yourself Laughing Surprised
Pepperfan
chatterbox wrote:
I don't know about you people, but i get really shy for some reason when i talk to my girlfriend. Theres a big feeling inside of me, like if somethings going to go wrong, or she doesnt like me much so i back off. But then if i back away from her she might think i dont like her. I dont really know what to do in this situation. Thats all Shocked


I used to be shy... No, I am not super out going now. However, I am outgoing enough now.

How and why you ask? Well I on day realized that all the terrible things that might go wrong if I spoke to the pretty girl or started/joined a conversation at a party were not as bad as sitting by myself every Friday and Saturday night! I then met the love of my life and met a bunch of interesting people.

Try being out going you will like it. sure it will be bad occasionally but some times it will be great! Very Happy

Charles
Greatking
naturally i am not a shy person. i was raised to be bold in my endeavors. and being shy was not one of them. i have come to realize that shyness hinders people from experiencing alot of good stuff in life. like fruitful relationships. i beleive fear creates shyness. fear of the unknown. explore in life u will find that life is good.
Greatking
naturally i am not a shy person. i was raised to be bold in my endeavors. and being shy was not one of them. i have come to realize that shyness hinders people from experiencing alot of good stuff in life. like fruitful relationships. i beleive fear creates shyness. fear of the unknown. explore in life u will find that life is good.
apple
BigGeek wrote:


So here are a few rules of love.

No matter how hard you try, and no matter how much you change into someone else, you can't make someone feel love for you that does not. So always be yourself.

Also, if you don't love someone, staying in the relationship in hopes that your feelings will change to love, is just waisting your time and theirs.

And, you can love something or someone with all your heart, and they can treat you so badly, and be so mean, that in the end you no longer love them.

Last but not least....the most important person to learn to love is yourself Laughing Surprised


what he said^^^^
wahyder
shyness is due to the feeling of guilt ie if you do some wrong thing then you will feel guilty. if know what you are doing is wrong then you will feel shy
apple
wahyder wrote:
shyness is due to the feeling of guilt ie if you do some wrong thing then you will feel guilty. if know what you are doing is wrong then you will feel shy


this cannot be true in all cases.
andysart380
take this example...im seeing a new girl and she says to just kiss her if i want to because i always have to double check or ask for one but i know shell always want one and i still double check...its hard to be sure...but it doesnt matter how well you get to know someone it could always change...so you cant be shy you can just be yourself and if they dont like you being yourslef than obviously they arent the right person
driftingfe3s
BigGeek wrote:
I'm old, and been in love and in more relationships than I care to remember. Some of them loved me, and although I liked them, I was not in love with them, others I was madly in love with, and the end of the relationship broke my heart. One thing I will tell you is that a broken heart is worth it, it is worth being madly in love with someone that feels the same as you do, it is magic and fun, too bad it is also temporary. You know the old saying "it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all".

One thing I will say though, the most heart breaking thing I've ever experienced is to be very much in love with some one, and they tell you they feel the same way, and then once in the relationship they treat you so badly, for so long, that in the end you no longer feel any love for them, I never felt hate for her, but in the end all I wanted was to get free from the painful abusive relationship.

So here are a few rules of love.

No matter how hard you try, and no matter how much you change into someone else, you can't make someone feel love for you that does not. So always be yourself.

Also, if you don't love someone, staying in the relationship in hopes that your feelings will change to love, is just waisting your time and theirs.

And, you can love something or someone with all your heart, and they can treat you so badly, and be so mean, that in the end you no longer love them.

Last but not least....the most important person to learn to love is yourself Laughing Surprised


I totally agree with BigGeek. Just be yourself. If she doesn't like you for who you really are, then she's not worth being with.
ponda
Talk about your feelings, explain your shyness. Then the both of you can find a solution together =).
logicfail182
I would first like to point out the irony of your user name, chatterbox. The only thing you can really do about being shy is just not be shy. You canread all the self-help books in the world, and you can bitch and complain all you want (not that you were, just saying) but in the end, you must simply persevere. I was always picked on as a youngster, so I learned to keep to myself. I've missed a lot of opportunities because of shyness. I've never had a girlfriend, I never get teacher nominations for anything, and at a camp i went to recently there was this one person I liked, as did another kid. I can't carry a conversation; he can. Guess who calls who weekly?

The point is that until I started to, you know, talk, I was missing out. So don't be like I was, just talk to her!! I know it seems strange at first, having never really exposed yourself. But just as shyness is learned, it can be unlearned. I'll now get off my soap box.
Ryox
I have to end up agreeing with BigGeek's post :=)
Fanghai
if you can't feel comfortable around her...
it's either you or her
but either way it's not really working
fix it or it's time for a break
wanshi
many people will be shy to a girl first time , but take it easy ,you will be good after many times,chear up!
Denvis
BigGeek wrote:

So here are a few rules of love.

No matter how hard you try, and no matter how much you change into someone else, you can't make someone feel love for you that does not. So always be yourself.

Also, if you don't love someone, staying in the relationship in hopes that your feelings will change to love, is just waisting your time and theirs.

And, you can love something or someone with all your heart, and they can treat you so badly, and be so mean, that in the end you no longer love them.

Last but not least....the most important person to learn to love is yourself Laughing Surprised


Oh, so true. Although I don't entirely agree with 'being yourself'. There is a barrier from being yourself and being 'too much' of yourself. You still have to control what you do and say which can be a part of your personality to do something absolutely cruel but you might not think it is cruel at all. Changing the negative parts of yourself will diffidently help BUT Im going to agree and say you cannot keep changing yourself to suit their needs.
RubySlasher
Slap her butt and get in a big fight. That always breaks the ice.
Jaan
that means shes not your real girlfriend. she probably cheats on you... read doc love's the system for more confidence, or learn some PUA skills... hone your internal game dude
Alaskacameradude
Ya, I couldn't talk to girls either, I was shy. But then one day a girl started talking to me! And asked me out and pretty soon we were going out.....and then she asked me to marry her and next thing
I know, we are married and have 3 kids!
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