Why do we tend to remember good memories more than bad memories? Where does this selection come from? Or are we just blocking bad memories?
Why do we remember good memories and forget bad ones?
I am not sure we do,i think most of your early childhood memories are events that stood out from your usual daily routine,my 3 earliest memories (I was aged 3 at the time) are of being by the canal,and being scared of falling in,getting covered in paint and being washed in the kitchen sink and finally getting lost and being brought home in a police car,none of them are what you would call happy memories.
I think this follows into adulthood,the memories that stick are just that,memorable,for what ever reason,good or bad.
I think this follows into adulthood,the memories that stick are just that,memorable,for what ever reason,good or bad.
I'm by no means educated in the area, but I would think our memories don't have judgment on a situation, but rather remember things that significantly effected us, good or bad. I certainly remember many bad memories that frankly don't seem that bad now...I'm not sure we forget them on the basis of being good or bad.
Alot of times, bad memories(especially from early childhood), tend to be forgotten. This is a defense mechanism of the human psyche. In order to maintain sanity and keep happiness levels to a maximum, the mind will do it's best to block out memories which can cause psychological trauma. For example, many victims of violent crimes have "fuzzy" memories, or none at all. This is just the brain working to keep you mentally and emotionally safe, because memories are tied so closely to emotions.
I have no early childhood memories before my mother left my dad, he was abusive and they probably would have all been bad memories.
But I guess its a natural reaction in the mind to forget the bad things. But now i'm "grown up" I think I latch on to bad memories more to re-run them in my head and think of how things could have gone differently and how I should have acted.
But I guess its a natural reaction in the mind to forget the bad things. But now i'm "grown up" I think I latch on to bad memories more to re-run them in my head and think of how things could have gone differently and how I should have acted.
| Solon_Poledourus wrote: |
| Alot of times, bad memories(especially from early childhood), tend to be forgotten. This is a defense mechanism of the human psyche. In order to maintain sanity and keep happiness levels to a maximum, the mind will do it's best to block out memories which can cause psychological trauma. For example, many victims of violent crimes have "fuzzy" memories, or none at all. This is just the brain working to keep you mentally and emotionally safe, because memories are tied so closely to emotions. |
Actually, I find bad memories to be much more persistent in memory than good ones...
Part of a core psychological response of learning to avoid things that cause bad experiences.
Or am I just being horse-like?
Part of a core psychological response of learning to avoid things that cause bad experiences.
Or am I just being horse-like?
| ocalhoun wrote: |
| Actually, I find bad memories to be much more persistent in memory than good ones... |
Perhaps no memories can be good whilst you're not horse-like?
its because bad memories taste like lemon
| Bannik wrote: |
| its because bad memories taste like lemon |
Interesting though to think about how bad memories would taste like. I imagine it would taste bitter and vile, like mud.| deanhills wrote: | ||
I actually like the taste of lemon ... Smile Interesting though to think about how bad memories would taste like. I imagine it would taste bitter and vile, like mud. |
When my aunt was a child, she was set on fire. I don't remember exactly how this happened, it's been a long time since she told me about it. Her back took a majority of the burn, and luckily, the fire was put out fairly quickly. Her mother used vanilla extract to soothe the pain of the burn(this actually works). She passed out from the cooling effect of the vanilla extract. To this day, she gets very relaxed and drowsy at the smell of vanilla.
| Solon_Poledourus wrote: | ||||
When my aunt was a child, she was set on fire. I don't remember exactly how this happened, it's been a long time since she told me about it. Her back took a majority of the burn, and luckily, the fire was put out fairly quickly. Her mother used vanilla extract to soothe the pain of the burn(this actually works). She passed out from the cooling effect of the vanilla extract. To this day, she gets very relaxed and drowsy at the smell of vanilla. |
There is a certain plant, I'm not sure what the name of it is, but it's common in the desert and I have seen it in the tropical regions as well. Actually, I don't think I have ever seen it, or identified it by sight. I know the smell... and it always reminds me of when I was 7 years old. During that summer, the smell of that plant was heavy in the air, and that was the first time a girl kissed me. Now and then I catch the scent in the air, and I always smile.
So much of my memories are tied very closely to aromas. I like that. I can take a stroll through the neighborhood and smell a fire in someones fireplace, and if it's a certain type of wood, it reminds me of camping trips with my dad. If someone is cooking a meal, I might catch the scent of tarragon or some other spice, and I am reminded of my first trip to Mexico City.
It's a nice thing, in a melancholy sort of way. Sometimes the smells remind me of love lost, or of friends missed, and it makes me sad because the smell induces more than memories. It makes me feel like I am right back in that point in time. Yet I know I'm not.
Ahhh memories... they are like an abusive lover. Sometimes they hurt you, sometimes they make you feel good. Sometimes you wonder if they are worth keeping around, for better or worse.
So much of my memories are tied very closely to aromas. I like that. I can take a stroll through the neighborhood and smell a fire in someones fireplace, and if it's a certain type of wood, it reminds me of camping trips with my dad. If someone is cooking a meal, I might catch the scent of tarragon or some other spice, and I am reminded of my first trip to Mexico City.
It's a nice thing, in a melancholy sort of way. Sometimes the smells remind me of love lost, or of friends missed, and it makes me sad because the smell induces more than memories. It makes me feel like I am right back in that point in time. Yet I know I'm not.
Ahhh memories... they are like an abusive lover. Sometimes they hurt you, sometimes they make you feel good. Sometimes you wonder if they are worth keeping around, for better or worse.
| Solon_Poledourus wrote: |
| There is a certain plant, I'm not sure what the name of it is, but it's common in the desert and I have seen it in the tropical regions as well. Actually, I don't think I have ever seen it, or identified it by sight. I know the smell... and it always reminds me of when I was 7 years old. During that summer, the smell of that plant was heavy in the air, and that was the first time a girl kissed me. Now and then I catch the scent in the air, and I always smile.
So much of my memories are tied very closely to aromas. I like that. I can take a stroll through the neighborhood and smell a fire in someones fireplace, and if it's a certain type of wood, it reminds me of camping trips with my dad. If someone is cooking a meal, I might catch the scent of tarragon or some other spice, and I am reminded of my first trip to Mexico City. It's a nice thing, in a melancholy sort of way. Sometimes the smells remind me of love lost, or of friends missed, and it makes me sad because the smell induces more than memories. It makes me feel like I am right back in that point in time. Yet I know I'm not. Ahhh memories... they are like an abusive lover. Sometimes they hurt you, sometimes they make you feel good. Sometimes you wonder if they are worth keeping around, for better or worse. |
| deanhills wrote: |
| I'm particularly going through a memories phase right now. Not consciously, they just zap me from all directions. Memories I had thought I did not have anymore, and they are almost vivid. I sometimes wonder whether if we start to think "memories" and remember one memory, that it sort of triggers others, not necessarily the same day, but it's like waking a sleeping variety of associated memories. |
| Solon_Poledourus wrote: | ||
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| deanhills wrote: |
| Yeah ... and going just even more weird is when the next day you get a call from a very old friend who is connected with the memories. There is one friend in particular from South Africa, the equivalent of Alan Shore and Denny Crane in Boston Legal. I was thinking last week I have not heard from this blighter in ages, and within a day received an e-mail from him. Weird! |
Actually we have a pretty good idea what is going on with Deja Vu.
It is most likely a 'misfire' in the memory recall mechanism.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D%C3%A9j%C3%A0_vu#Scientific_research
The 'mind as broadcaster' hypothesis is superficially attractive but falls down on close examination. The field strengths we are talking about couldn't possibly be interacting at any distance over a few millimetres....
It is most likely a 'misfire' in the memory recall mechanism.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D%C3%A9j%C3%A0_vu#Scientific_research
The 'mind as broadcaster' hypothesis is superficially attractive but falls down on close examination. The field strengths we are talking about couldn't possibly be interacting at any distance over a few millimetres....
| Bikerman wrote: |
| Actually we have a pretty good idea what is going on with Deja Vu.
It is most likely a 'misfire' in the memory recall mechanism. |
| Bikerman wrote: |
| The 'mind as broadcaster' hypothesis is superficially attractive but falls down on close examination. The field strengths we are talking about couldn't possibly be interacting at any distance over a few millimetres.... |
| deanhills wrote: |
| Why do we tend to remember good memories more than bad memories? Where does this selection come from? Or are we just blocking bad memories? |
Why do you say that? I don't believe that, because I dream all my bad memories.
The nightmares I have are strictly related to the bad memories: some things happened in my childhood, some perceptions about stuff, some "disorder" actions I get wrong.
I think remembering good things or bad things are all about how you are built.
| ciureanuc wrote: | ||
Why do you say that? I don't believe that, because I dream all my bad memories. The nightmares I have are strictly related to the bad memories: some things happened in my childhood, some perceptions about stuff, some "disorder" actions I get wrong. I think remembering good things or bad things are all about how you are built. |
You are also right about the nightmares. In the bad experiences I've had, they tend to fade, except when years after I have a dream and the whole atmosphere of that bad experience was in the dream and that brought it all back to me. That does happen. Good part of dreams is that we seem to forget them almost immediately after we have woken up?
I can see an evolutionary pressure at work here.
Imagine you spent a lot of time reflecting on mistakes bad things that happened to you. This would lead to a very nervous introspective person, who would be wary of new situations and unlikely to socialise much. This in turn would lead to a lesser chance of reproductive sucess meaning the genome that produced that individual would be less likely to replicate.....
Imagine you spent a lot of time reflecting on mistakes bad things that happened to you. This would lead to a very nervous introspective person, who would be wary of new situations and unlikely to socialise much. This in turn would lead to a lesser chance of reproductive sucess meaning the genome that produced that individual would be less likely to replicate.....
| Bikerman wrote: |
| I can see an evolutionary pressure at work here.
Imagine you spent a lot of time reflecting on mistakes bad things that happened to you. This would lead to a very nervous introspective person, who would be wary of new situations and unlikely to socialise much. This in turn would lead to a lesser chance of reproductive sucess meaning the genome that produced that individual would be less likely to replicate..... |
Good point here Chris. Like seeking out psychological counselling or psychiatrists and going through childhood memories, especially the bad ones, bit by bit! We hear of so many cases of women who had been abused as children, and then when they sought out psychological counselling in their later lives, discovered that they had been abused!
| deanhills wrote: | ||
Good point here Chris. Like seeking out psychological counselling or psychiatrists and going through childhood memories, especially the bad ones, bit by bit! We hear of so many cases of women who had been abused as children, and then when they sought out psychological counselling in their later lives, discovered that they had been abused! |
Hmm - repressed memory syndrome it is called, and I am deeply suspicious about it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Repressed_memory
| Bikerman wrote: |
| Hmm - repressed memory syndrome it is called, and I am deeply suspicious about it. |
| Solon_Poledourus wrote: | ||
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| deanhills wrote: |
| Well said for me too Solon. I tested it on myself. I don't know whether you and Chris have experienced this. You're dreaming, and then you wake up, and the more you wake up, the more fragmented the dream becomes, and the harder you try and put it all together the way it was when you dreamt it. And that is when the truth goes out the door, because by the evening with all the effort to remember the details, and you start to write about it, you find that the essence of it might have changed. The next day you look at it, and something does not look right and you amend it. So for me some of that is around when psychologists try to put together fragments of memories and try and prompt the patient to glue the pieces together, and all that happens is that a complete new reality is created, and RE-lived, and if those were negative realities, the suffering is repeated and re-experienced under professional "guidance". |
| Solon_Poledourus wrote: | ||
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| deanhills wrote: |
| Yours seem to be much more lucid then mine. My dream memories seem to run away the moment I open my eyes. Unless they have been very vivid, but even then some of the fragments peel away, and the meaning of it is different, I loose touch with the essence of it. |
| Solon_Poledourus wrote: | ||
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| deanhills wrote: | ||||
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The trick is how he said he remembers his dreams. This is the most important part, because it helps you realize that you are dreaming, and it prevents you from forgetting about the lucid dream as soon as you wake up.
| ocalhoun wrote: | ||||||
The trick is how he said he remembers his dreams. This is the most important part, because it helps you realize that you are dreaming, and it prevents you from forgetting about the lucid dream as soon as you wake up. |
| deanhills wrote: |
| Perhaps we sleep differently. My sleeping is never the same, sometimes interrupted, haphazard, I can't imagine telling myself I am going to remember my dream. Perhaps Solon sleeps more regularly and deeply and has a more regular lifestyle than mine. Which says good things about him. I probably need to be a bit more self-disciplined on the sleeping side of things. |
| Solon_Poledourus wrote: |
| And it's kind of disturbing at times, as I am surprised at what I choose to do when there are no repercussions for my actions. |
Know thyself...
I know what I would do with no limitations. It doesn't take any thought at all.
And it's not disturbing, because knowing it has allowed me to factor it into my philosophy at every point, making it a natural part of myself.
I experimented with lucid dreaming for a while, but never could get more than just a couple seconds before waking up for real.
| ocalhoun wrote: |
| Know thyself... |
| Quote: |
| I know what I would do with no limitations. It doesn't take any thought at all.
And it's not disturbing, because knowing it has allowed me to factor it into my philosophy at every point, making it a natural part of myself. |
| Quote: |
| I experimented with lucid dreaming for a while, but never could get more than just a couple seconds before waking up for real. |
| Solon_Poledourus wrote: |
| but I have read books in dreams... |
That has happened to me as well, in non-lucid dreams. It's a little disorienting. It's always the same book I was last reading, using the same tone and vocabulary, and on the same subject. It is actually a trigger for semi-lucidity because I'll soon realize that the book is making no sense (the sentences make sense, but they never form into coherent paragraphs, pages, or chapters). Curiously, they never simply repeat what I've already read, they always continue from where I left off, my mind trying to complete it as best it can. It always does an excellent job of imitating the style, but never can imitate the content at all.
| ocalhoun wrote: |
| That has happened to me as well, in non-lucid dreams. It's a little disorienting. It's always the same book I was last reading, using the same tone and vocabulary, and on the same subject. It is actually a trigger for semi-lucidity because I'll soon realize that the book is making no sense |
| Solon_Poledourus wrote: |
| That's a good trigger. I usually realize it's a dream when I can't run properly. |
Or if you are flying breast stroke? | deanhills wrote: |
| Or if you are flying breast stroke? |
| Solon_Poledourus wrote: | ||
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| deanhills wrote: |
| Do you think it was Ocalhoun's Devil Horse that inspired it? |
bad memories are weak easy to forget and good ones are heavy they live because we are happy each time we revive it
The brain deletes bad memories to help us survive. If we would keep fresh always the bad memories, sometimes it would be very difficult to go on.
| programitv wrote: |
| The brain deletes bad memories to help us survive. If we would keep fresh always the bad memories, sometimes it would be very difficult to go on. |
| programitv wrote: |
| The brain deletes bad memories to help us survive. If we would keep fresh always the bad memories, sometimes it would be very difficult to go on. |
But what if walking im through a deserted part of town one day,i get mugged quite badly,only to recover and find my mind has blocked the whole incident out. Two months later,i am walking through the same deserted part of town,i get ............. you get the point.
From the point of view of survival,the mind blocking out bad memories wouldn't be a good idea.
Good memories make us happy.
Bad memories teach us not to **** up.
10,000 years of psychology, and it all comes down to that... is it any wonder that I don't hold much hope for humans?
Bad memories teach us not to **** up.
10,000 years of psychology, and it all comes down to that... is it any wonder that I don't hold much hope for humans?
| Solon_Poledourus wrote: |
| Good memories make us happy.
Bad memories teach us not to **** up. 10,000 years of psychology, and it all comes down to that... is it any wonder that I don't hold much hope for humans? |
| Solon_Poledourus wrote: |
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10,000 years of psychology, and it all comes down to that... is it any wonder that I don't hold much hope for humans? |
To be fair, psychology has only been practiced as a science for a few hundred years...
| ocalhoun wrote: | ||
To be fair, psychology has only been practiced as a science for a few hundred years... |
Err...psychology is arguably still not a science. It certainly hasn't used proper scientific method for more than a few decades...
| Bikerman wrote: | ||||
Err...psychology is arguably still not a science. It certainly hasn't used proper scientific method for more than a few decades... |
<.<
I was using the broad definition... trying to be generous.
good memories. hmm. i think they should fill up a person's mind. its always better. espercially if there are bad ones as well. i remember my childhood. funny but i dont really remember the bad times. only the good ones. how my father will pick us in his car and take us out for ice cream. that was fun. i know there will be more memories to keep. and i will surely keep the good ones.
I don't know about bad ones, but I seem to remember all of my most embarrasing moments
it unfair
it unfair
| hangnhu wrote: |
| I don't know about bad ones, but I seem to remember all of my most embarrasing moments
it unfair |
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