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Her Confession & Should I forgive?





TwentyTwo
Nearly three years ago I started a long distance relationship with a girl that I fell madly in love with, but because I was constantly gone because of the military, I cut it off so she wouldn’t be waiting for someone who may not return from Iraq. 11 months ago I returned with the intentions of becoming very serious with her and with the fact that I was almost done with the military… I figured we had a chance.
We talked for nearly a month before she came out and we met for the 1st time. And the weekend we spent together was absolutely amazing. We had amazing love making, cuddling, conversations, and everything just clicked. Well when she got on that plane there was a heart breaking sensation because we were separating again--- That moment will stay with me forever and that look in her eyes just screamed love.
About a week later she started confessing some of her secrets. She is 25 and told me she had only been with 3 people but it was really 12 (which isn’t a big deal anyway) but the thing that disturbed me the most was that for the last year [then] she had 4 men that she would be intimate with here and there. It was because sex to her lost meaning because of a previous relationship that ended very badly.
But like I said it wasn’t a deal breaker or anything, I wasn’t in her life so I can’t damn her for the choices she made. But she has confused me so badly with one thing.
Over the next 6 months she was with me almost every couple weeks sometimes for a week or two at a time. We have talked about our future, we have talked about everything. And everything with her has been the best I have ever known.
I am back in Iraq and have been since January. She broke down one night and confessed her darkest secret. The night she went home from our first visit she slept with one of the 4 men she had on the back burner. She literally landed, called me on the phone and then went out to a party. She is very passive and there was alcohol but I can not seem to shake this off.
She told me that she thought I would disappear again and that this would help if I actually did. She told me that she was a different person then and I have since shown her what love is. Our relationship has been absolutely perfect other than this and she swears on everything it only happened one time. But part of me... after all of this time... wants to walk away. I am lost. Because every few days the images of our perfect weekend run through my mind and then it turns to her being with another man. What are your feelings on this? If it was so early in a relationship does it really matter? Or is my entire relationship just a lie because she kept something so massive in the dark while I fell deeper and deeper in love with her--- not knowing the truth.
deanhills
Long distance relationships are not easy. Perhaps you need to agree that when you are apart that you lead normal lives. And that no one should feel guilty about the way they live their lives apart. Or find a way that you can be together, which is the only realistic way to be committed to one another.
tingkagol
Those are really the hardest decisions to make - whether to stick it out with her or not. The smitten would suffer the most for the fact of breaking off the relationship - OR - staying but getting all paranoid about whether or not she's sleeping with someone else at this very moment is unbearable.

But as a normal spectator of your relationship with her, I'd say save yourself from all the drama. I know --- it's naive, but as my real self, knowing how it feels to be in love, I'd advice you to stick it out for a bit if she's really worth it. The important thing is to know when to really STOP- because if you're not careful, your careless tolerance will become a habit.
gtoroap
I think that everybody must have a second (an even a third) opportunity. Everybody make mistakes, even you boy, and when we make mistakes, we need some understanding people to keep going in the right way.
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