This is a poem I wrote for my Valentine (Bianca Zaveri) on the 13th of February, 2009. Please Comment:
See the skies sublime; Behold!
The cloudless, dark depths of night:
Studded by stars shining
With a bright, brilliant light.
The firmament, a fathomless abyss,
Modestly mirrors your innocent eyes;
Which beyond composure and consideration conceals
A conscience, made lowly wise.
In a blink, breaks the dawn;
Revealing the rich radiance of your skin.
Your cheeks so fair, does the colour scare;
Which flees the faint flush of blood blossoming.
Your pale, wet lips, hennaed hair
And body, beautiful and lithe, does lure
Many a men, and in their bosoms
Desire does inspire and despair does stir.
More than my life, do I love you so:
For seen I no lady, more fair or fine;
And on my knees, do I beg of you,
‘Will you be my Valentine?’
- Gael Knightley (aka Aadit M Shah)
i don't think it really matters what anyone but her thinks.. so, what did she think? btw, for a short poem it was pretty good; i'm glad you stuck with some sort of rhyme scheme.. poems without one don't appeal to me
Well, thanks for the comment. I am glad you liked it.
I gave her a card on the 14th of February with the poem in it, but I didn't get any response. She read it, but it made no difference to her. She does not behave differently with me than with anyone else and that says a lot about her personality. It is impossible to tell what she feels, whether she like me too or not, and that drives me furthur to improve myself.
i liked it i had to stop and reread some of the lines onc or twice to make sure i was getting the message u were trying to express but, i am not fully rested and my eyes are dry and irritated. i published a book of my poetry i will post some up here maybe you can check them out. just remember it is always great when other people like your poetry but, what really matters is if you were able to find the the words that were able to express how it was that you were feeling at that particular point and time for that special someone or moment in your life that was that special that you wrote about it and are now able to relive that moment every time you read that poem. keep writing.
A wonderful poem you are truly talented. I think you may be able to have career at this one day. You truly are gifted yes indeed.
Great poem. You deserve more recognition for your effort. I'll donate a coin to you.
good poem, i'm crying