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Why can't it last platonic for a longer time?





iyepes
This is a multicultural forum, so, opinions could vary, but, why can't relationshipc last platonic for a longer time?

I met basicly two kind of men, one, the good friends, who share with you time, knowledge, life experiences and who have never introduced anything related to sex, who get along with me for years, and two, the men who show certain romantic interest on you and quickly express their desire to be intimate with me.

I don't know, but can't those "twos" wait a little longer?, can't they try a friendship first? I'm really frustrated about men that think that romantic relationships needs inmediately acceptance of physical intimacy.
tingkagol
It actually goes both ways. In my case, I've been in a great friendship- which i consider platonic- with a girl. That changed a few weeks ago when her friends started questioning the friendship. "Both of you are going to do well as a couple" and other such presumptions and "what ifs" were probably enough to poison her mind to think we would work.


Anyway, I now believe it's hard to keep a friendship at a platonic level if either of you had a physical/emotional attraction for the other in the first place. This sort of "non-attraction" has to be shared by both of you, and walahhh... there's your platonic relationship.
Magicman
Guys don't like getting stuck as being 'just friends' with a girl they are interested in. We feel pressured a lot of the time to make it clear right away that we want more than just a platonic relationship because we feel that if we wait there may never be a chance to have something more with that particular girl. I wish relationships could be made out of friendships but those relationships rarely seem to work out.
tingkagol
Magicman wrote:
Guys don't like getting stuck as being 'just friends' with a girl they are interested in. We feel pressured a lot of the time to make it clear right away that we want more than just a platonic relationship because we feel that if we wait there may never be a chance to have something more with that particular girl. I wish relationships could be made out of friendships but those relationships rarely seem to work out.

Girls can always play the innocent/naive stance. Some are even out only for the ego-trip.
deanhills
Magicman wrote:
Guys don't like getting stuck as being 'just friends' with a girl they are interested in. We feel pressured a lot of the time to make it clear right away that we want more than just a platonic relationship because we feel that if we wait there may never be a chance to have something more with that particular girl. I wish relationships could be made out of friendships but those relationships rarely seem to work out.
Sounds a little bit like a desire for instant gratification to me. And that may work against instead of for the person as the intended object of the conquest may loose immediate interest and/or be offended by this aggressive approach. Does not have to be long-term friendship approach either. More like "softlee softlee catchee monkey" ..... Smile Best things always come to those who are prepared to wait and be patient. Let her work up a good interest in you, and it may have much better results.
TrueFact
Well, here in my country, Egypt, the situation is completely different! If a man has romantic or emotional interest in a girl, he has one way to approach her properly. This way is engaging, aka proposing, to her. That's why most male-female relations here are platonic relations in a way or another to some extent. Social standards put many boundaries around such relations thus even romantic\emotional relations are supervised in case they exist.

On the other hand, if a girl have this interest, she can do nothing but trying to catch the man's interest indirectly and wait for his response. So, I can say, that girls in Egypt tend to maintain platonic relations more than men.

Back to the main question, I think both types of men exist everywhere. You'll find men have what I call sex priority thus the romantic stage for them is just an initial stage.
deanhills
TrueFact wrote:
Back to the main question, I think both types of men exist everywhere. You'll find men have what I call sex priority thus the romantic stage for them is just an initial stage.
Well put! iyepes's handling of the more push variety is excellent though, probably what the pushy person thrives on too, i.e. the chasing game Smile
iyepes
Both exist in my life, but I really want a third class that can share a friendship with me and aaaafter, show his interest about physical intimacy.

A friend of mine (male) answered my question as: Most men look for physical intimacy, so it's not rare that most of your experiences agree with that.
Bluedoll
Could not totally agree more. Most men seem over enthusiastic for intimacy earily on and all we seem to be able to do in this car chase is put on the brakes or take a quick turn.

Sounds like a good plan. Form a friendship first and then after think about the physical stuff. However maybe life does not work that way? Not sure.

Maybe, just maybe, there isn't any clear switching to another mode. Often if nothing emotional isn’t brought into the mix for a long period of time, it just seems rather odd for that ingredient to be added to the friendship. You know what I mean, "if it intimacy happens now after all this time will this great friendship come to an end? - syndrome.

Well what if there were no lines to be drawn? Hay, wait a minute, old people still "do it" right? Maybe the old folks way of courting could work here, you know hold hands, fast little hugs and there, lots of talk and getting to know each other, a little kiss on the cheek and then slowing over a reasonable amount of time work to a more intimate relationship.

Maybe it is modern day thinking or maybe it is that wonderful imagine in our heads of the story book romance that rushes us into our intimacy. You know the scene of that first kiss where after you know for sure they live happily ever after? We rush the moments. I don't know, maybe there shouldn't be a developing a friendship time and separate intimate time? Just one long relationship that slowly progresses.

Where are the guys that will give us what we really want?

"Heh, cowboy wanta go for a ride in my car?"
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! there cowboy.

Lets get something to eat first, then a long walk, maybe a movie then.. slap you if don't stop cowboy and if he gets disinterested because physical things are not happening soon enough, he just wasn't worth it.

Agree?
iyepes
I can tell that the sensation of holding the hand of someone I love is wonderful, magic. Looking each others eyes for a long time, it's a deligth. Yes, where all that courtship was gone? I really miss the flowers and the long walks.
Greatking
being with someone you love is soo wonderful in that words cannot describe it. To stay platonic to someone for a long time is not soo possible because what you give more attention to you become fond of.

The more you spend time with a person no matter how long the interval may be you grow out of liking to affection and so on and ....???

So you see platonic for a long time is impossible unless you are seriously involve with someone and then consider platonice and pure friendship
iyepes
Three months of platonic relationship could be good to me...... but most don't wait even three weeks.... I getting tired of it.
Arnie
Maybe you just attract that kind of guy. Perhaps even subconsciously like that sort of character.
macky
Well it depends how long you want that guy wait for more..Coz not all guys got same virtues or belief like yours. The best thing to do is try to express and explain that your not that type of a person who really wants to get on the bed in just a few moments.

Tell them or show to them that you believe in long friendship moments than get into deeper things. Absolutely if you do, you will found out what is their true intention for you coz others is just want some pass time and not relationship and love..
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