FRIHOSTFORUMSSEARCHFAQTOSBLOGSCOMPETITIONS
You are invited to Log in or Register a free Frihost Account!


how to talk to girls





shilixiang
As a guy, learning how to talk to girls can be one of the most challenging and rewarding skill he can acquire during his lifetime. Would you agree that being able to carry a proper conversation with a girl would solve a LOT of problems ?

I know many guys agree that this is one of the most neglected aspects when it comes to dating advice, and yet, it is so critical to succeed!


One of the biggest issues among men that are struggling with women is that they “Just don’t know what to talk about!”.

I feel you.

I’ve had that awkward silence too.

The moment where something SHOULD of been said, but it was not.
The moment where you both kind of look at each other and think… “ok this is not good”

When this happens, women will often think: “We just don’t connect” and it’s at that point that the date goes downhill.

Actually, that’s probably one of the biggest fear that men have and it’s the reason why a lot of guys won’t even go start a conversation!

The reason is that most people try to figure out the “ideal topic of conversation” beforehand. As if, if you were to introduce this ideal topic, you would both have a wonderful time talking about it for hours and hours and eventually the woman would fall in love with you, just because you had the right topic of conversation.

Sound silly?

That’s because it is.

Yet people STILL try to find that ideal conversation topic!

So do yourself a favor, do ME a favor, stop it and just start off with any conversation topic. Usually bad ones will do, and as the conversation progresses, you can steer the conversation to any topics you wish to discuss.

Alright, because we all like to be spoon fed information, I’ll break it down even more.

I realize that saying “Any Topic Will Do” will not help most guys because you’re probably still wondering.. “OK, but what do I talk about?” Well start by things that are relevant to you first.

It’s really hard to be relevant to other people, and people with high value tend to think of themselves anyways, so STARTING with a topic that is relevant in your life is always a great way to start a conversation. At the same time, it will sub-consciously convey values of self-worth and confidence which are both attractive.

For example, if you’re on your way to go grocery shopping, start with that!

“Hey, I was just watching the cooking channel and I was inspired to make some , so now I’m going to get the secret ingredient at the grocery store”.

Now it’s likely that she doesn’t really care about you going grocery shopping, but if the story, your thought process, is interesting enough, then it will be entertaining to talk about. When in doubt, talk about your thought process about an activity and it will ALWAYS provide natural conversation.

People are bored, stories about your life can be as entertaining as watching that last episode of Lost, House or even Desperate House Wives.

Conversations are like fires, once they are ignited with the right kindling, there’s no stopping them. Trust me when I tell you, you’ll KNOW when to change topic, it will come naturally. Until then, just continue talking about what interests you the most, because if it’s interesting to YOU, you’ll talk about it in an enthusiastic and entertaining manner.

The next thing you wonder how to talk to girls, just keep in mind that conversations are like fire, they need to be slowly started with little light pieces before you can move on to the heavy stuff!
rvec
moved. This isn't really science.
TrueFact
Well, it can be listed under psychology sciences.

Anyways, you missed a point here shilixiang! not everyone is interested in what interests me. I can talk for hours about new technologies or stuff like that, while the one I talk with, whether a male or female, isn't interested that much in it. So, yes, I'll know when I have to change the topic but that will bring me back to ground zero; What to talk about?!

I can understand that you are describing a whole streamline of conversation, but the most important in this streamline is diverting points. Those points are the moments when you know that you have to change the topics. These where men who struggle for picking the right topic will freeze down and remain silent. Try to imagine a man who noticed a look full of boredom on his girl's face and at a sudden he figures out that he can't keep talking about his topic.

Even though, I can see no other better solution than shilixiang's one. I just put my thought about it so others may come up with a solution Smile if there's any.
Bluedoll
Talk to me about it . . . by Bluedoll

Great post, hope a lot of people get to read this post. Appreciate reading and getting to know everyone writing here, I mean I like learning about people by what and how they write. I really like reading most of the things put on fri board.

Yeah, silence can be deadly. Sometimes it is ok. You know those quiet, relaxing moments. Generally though communication is wanted when meeting with others. Isn’t it so? There are all forms and reasons for having communication one of which is simply getting to know someone.

Topics can be boring if you are not interested in them. Sometimes, it is like, "ok, I get it, you are interested in that, I'm not, going to yawn now!"

However, even if the exercise is he knows a lot about that stuff, or interested in this or that and I certainly am not interested at all, but at least you learned something about the other person. Sometimes that is all that matters really. He likes it, she doesn't, or visa versa. lets move on.

So true talking with a friend is most definitely not about launching rockets. Most people of both genders want honesty and openness from the other person and to meet in the middle with topics. When in doubt use the k.i.s.s. rule. Keep it simple _________.
Solon_Poledourus
I have two things to say on this topic.

1 - Men have something called an "Empty Box". It's a psychological device within our minds which lets us think about absolutely nothing at all. So ladies, when you are with a guy, and you keep asking that annoying question, "what are you thinking about?", he will generally give you two different kinds of answers. The first reply, and most common, is "nothing". Which women can't seem to understand. Hence, the "Empty Box"; we can think about nothing, it helps filter out the useless info in our brains. The second most common answer that we give you is "I'm thinking about you".
Half the time this is a lie.

2 - Talking to a woman is like being a spy, and trying to get information out of another secret agent. You don't want to give her too much info about yourself, but just enough to keep her interested, while getting her to tell you as much as possible about herself. This way, she feels that you are interested(and hopefully you are) and you get to say as little as possible. So you can dwell in your Empty Box while trying to come up with more creative answers to the question she will surely ask later:
What are you thinking about?

I hope this helps.
deanhills
I don't believe there are really any rules in this. For a guy to be able to talk he has to feel at ease with the girl he is talking to. If he does not feel at ease, he won't be able to talk, and all of it will be forced. If you don't have anything to say, then just don't say anything. Silence is golden and much more natural than thinking about what you have to say. Quite often when you take that approach, thinks will just fall into place. You may then find that the girl will just talk, and perhaps even talk incessantly to fill up the empty space. If her talk can put you at ease and motivate you, then of course you are set for a nice discussion. If not, maybe you need to talk to somebody else.
tingkagol
Exactly what I was thinking.

Silence isn't always death of a conversation. The trick is to feel natural about it, and it's worth noting that it isn't uncommon at all in conversations with your friends. Truth is, you're just not THAT conscious about silence with friends than with a person of interest. But sure, as a rule you need to keep the conversation going with a girl - while on the other hand, you can spend long periods of silence in the company of friends.

I've had experiences where I panic when silence settles in. You start sweating, glancing around, constantly jerking your knee in nervousness. I don't know if this applies to everybody, but I can relax during silent moments if I don't do all those things and just stare into space instead. Maybe she'll ask you what you're thinking then. Smile

...And when she does, you can start with a JOKE. hahaha. Man, I can't point out enough how jokes are great icebreakers in these conversations. It's not a job interview after all. And women love humor (most of the ones I meet anyway).
deanhills
tingkagol wrote:
Exactly what I was thinking.

Silence isn't always death of a conversation. The trick is to feel natural about it, and it's worth noting that it isn't uncommon at all in conversations with your friends. Truth is, you're just not THAT conscious about silence with friends than with a person of interest. But sure, as a rule you need to keep the conversation going with a girl - while on the other hand, you can spend long periods of silence in the company of friends.

I've had experiences where I panic when silence settles in. You start sweating, glancing around, constantly jerking your knee in nervousness. I don't know if this applies to everybody, but I can relax during silent moments if I don't do all those things and just stare into space instead. Maybe she'll ask you what you're thinking then. Smile

...And when she does, you can start with a JOKE. hahaha. Man, I can't point out enough how jokes are great icebreakers in these conversations. It's not a job interview after all. And women love humor (most of the ones I meet anyway).
Perhaps a little flirting in a light-hearted way is never out of place, as long of course it is not forced and the lady is receptive to it. Has to be fun however. Smile
Solon_Poledourus
I thought this was interesting. It could be in the literature section, but it pertains to this as well.
How to talk to Girls
It's a book written by a 9 year old boy. Has anyone else read this? I think it's brilliant.
tingkagol
Judging by the review, it seems it's got nothing to do with the actual talking.

Normally I wouldn't trust a nine year old for relationship advise, but if this kid has something remarkable to say then I'm all ears.
Greatking
I think one of the problems of men is listening.

I prefer to listen to a lady to make conversation, because then you know what they are interested in talking about. You tend to probe based on what you pick from reactions and opinions of certaind key issues.

Listen more and you can converse more.
airh3ad
Dont be talkative man just lesten and be carefull with your words be sure the girl will be impress what you are saying .
SBCBC33
Sup ladies. Howyoudoin'? Rolling Eyes
andysart380
its actually very easy to talk to girls you can say just about anything and you'll know when you found the right subject and keep going with it..its just harder when you let her intimidate you...if shes not interested try the next one
lagoon
Cold reading often helps, and this is a good guide.

http://www.wikihow.com/Cold-Read
SpellcasterDX
Just talk about what's currently happening or what you're currently doing. That more or less seems to work for me. At least to start the conversation. Then you just have to naturally keep it going.
yagnyavalkya
Talk naturally as if you are talking to anybody else
dont try to put up
paskifire
Don't pretend, just be yourself, and take a bath. Laughing
macky
well dude its a part of life...
I agree that being good conversant can solve problem but the bad thing is it is only for a while..
andysart380
there is no right or wrong way to talk to a girl. Every girl is different, different turn ons and turn offs, hobbies and interests. You just have to be yourself and during the conversation if you fall into a topic where she can really talk about then you know thats a safe zone and you should try to stick around that topic, dont wander into different topics, and women dont necessarily just tune a guy out untill they get a chance to talk..they really do listen so be carefull what you say if you know it sounds stupid dont say it, and dont make yourself look like anything your not, stay true and honest and thats all they can ask for.
matam
Go forward and say "How you doing?".
navneethshashank
well i would lov to listen to wat the nine yr old kiddie wants to say abt this issue. coz they say"love knows no bar".. Razz
wanshishusheng
shilixiang wrote:
As a guy, learning how to talk to girls can be one of the most challenging and rewarding skill he can acquire during his lifetime. Would you agree that being able to carry a proper conversation with a girl would solve a LOT of problems ?

I know many guys agree that this is one of the most neglected aspects when it comes to dating advice, and yet, it is so critical to succeed!


One of the biggest issues among men that are struggling with women is that they “Just don’t know what to talk about!”.

I feel you.

I’ve had that awkward silence too.

The moment where something SHOULD of been said, but it was not.
The moment where you both kind of look at each other and think… “ok this is not good”

When this happens, women will often think: “We just don’t connect” and it’s at that point that the date goes downhill.

Actually, that’s probably one of the biggest fear that men have and it’s the reason why a lot of guys won’t even go start a conversation!

The reason is that most people try to figure out the “ideal topic of conversation” beforehand. As if, if you were to introduce this ideal topic, you would both have a wonderful time talking about it for hours and hours and eventually the woman would fall in love with you, just because you had the right topic of conversation.

Sound silly?

That’s because it is.

Yet people STILL try to find that ideal conversation topic!

So do yourself a favor, do ME a favor, stop it and just start off with any conversation topic. Usually bad ones will do, and as the conversation progresses, you can steer the conversation to any topics you wish to discuss.

Alright, because we all like to be spoon fed information, I’ll break it down even more.

I realize that saying “Any Topic Will Do” will not help most guys because you’re probably still wondering.. “OK, but what do I talk about?” Well start by things that are relevant to you first.

It’s really hard to be relevant to other people, and people with high value tend to think of themselves anyways, so STARTING with a topic that is relevant in your life is always a great way to start a conversation. At the same time, it will sub-consciously convey values of self-worth and confidence which are both attractive.

For example, if you’re on your way to go grocery shopping, start with that!

“Hey, I was just watching the cooking channel and I was inspired to make some , so now I’m going to get the secret ingredient at the grocery store”.

Now it’s likely that she doesn’t really care about you going grocery shopping, but if the story, your thought process, is interesting enough, then it will be entertaining to talk about. When in doubt, talk about your thought process about an activity and it will ALWAYS provide natural conversation.

People are bored, stories about your life can be as entertaining as watching that last episode of Lost, House or even Desperate House Wives.

Conversations are like fires, once they are ignited with the right kindling, there’s no stopping them. Trust me when I tell you, you’ll KNOW when to change topic, it will come naturally. Until then, just continue talking about what interests you the most, because if it’s interesting to YOU, you’ll talk about it in an enthusiastic and entertaining manner.

The next thing you wonder how to talk to girls, just keep in mind that conversations are like fire, they need to be slowly started with little light pieces before you can move on to the heavy stuff!


Thank u , useful for me^^
Related topics
do you like Rock or Rap?
Man and Women
I like girls, but I am not sex abused
Need Advice on a girl (interesting thread)
Girl help
Why do girls come to me and cry on my shoulder?
What do you talk about with your girlfriend??
Girls... What do they really want :D
shy guy
Making new friends, and conversation topics.
online relationship questions
How to Predict a Girl's thinking??
my girl friend always become angry when i talk 2 other girls
How to talk to girls? Do YOU know?
Reply to topic    Frihost Forum Index -> Lifestyle and News -> Relationships

FRIHOST HOME | FAQ | TOS | ABOUT US | CONTACT US | SITE MAP
© 2005-2011 Frihost, forums powered by phpBB.