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how you deal with love at a distance? Kilometres vs Relation





wiureczka
My boyfriend under circumates was forced to go to work 200 km from me. We see each other the every 3 weeks. This situation will have a place a half of year.
Of course we talk a lot by cellphone, but i miss very much.

Do you have any similar experiences?
How to survive the time of separation, how to deal with the longing?
Parkour_Jarrod
Well i can't say that Ive spent time like that away from someone but to get your mind off him i would recommend learning a language as fluently as you can as fast as you can, your mind will be so full of learning the language it wont have time to release the hormones needed to make the feeling of love or if it does you wont realize until its time to have those feelings.
PennyLane
I live in Belgium, and my brother had a relationship with a girl from Chile for like 5 years. They saw eachother once. And just days before she was about to come to Belgium she broke up. I don't know why... But it lasted for 5 years, so it's possible you know. You just have to do a little efford and if you really love him, this mustn't be a problem actually...
deanhills
wiureczka wrote:
My boyfriend under circumates was forced to go to work 200 km from me. We see each other the every 3 weeks. This situation will have a place a half of year.
Of course we talk a lot by cellphone, but i miss very much.

Do you have any similar experiences?
How to survive the time of separation, how to deal with the longing?
deanhills
wiureczka wrote:
My boyfriend under circumates was forced to go to work 200 km from me. We see each other the every 3 weeks. This situation will have a place a half of year.
Of course we talk a lot by cellphone, but i miss very much.

Do you have any similar experiences?
How to survive the time of separation, how to deal with the longing?

I'm puzzled, 200km aren't that far, why can you only see one another every three weeks? Are both keen on the relationship? Maybe you need to move closer to one another or try and see one another more often, cellphone relationships are really very realistic, you miss out when you don't share more of one another?
jinger89
Dear wiureczka,

You are your boyfriend are both very brave for undertaking this challenge in life. Most people would have said no at the first sign of a separation of distance. So, just this alone tells me that there is more to you and your boyfriend than meets the eye. As someone who's experienced the pains and joys of a long distance relationship, I want to share a few tips I have picked up and some things I have learned.

The first and foremost advice I have for you is to keep positive. If you truly believe that everything is going to be ok, then the time apart won't mean a thing. Don't let yourself start wondering if it's worth it, or the "what if" questions, because they amount to nothing. Worrying doesn't accomplish anything. Simply look at each day as another day closer to see your boyfriend again.

Keep yourself busy. Find books to read, projects to work on, and people to talk to. Keeping yourself busy will help distract you from the empty feeling in your heart. Sitting there for too long thinking about your boyfriend will only make the time you are apart seem endless and insurmountable. Therefore you have to keep yourself busy as much as possible. However, of course you should never jeopardize the time you spend talking to him on the phone.

Talking to him on the phone is probably one of the best things to do. Set a time when you'll call each other everyday, and stick to that time. Talk for as long as you want, and share everything with each other. One of the best things about long distance relationships I have found is that it forces you to communicate with the other person, because that's all you can do. You learn to listen, and from that you learn more about the other person. Don't stop talking.

Do more then just talk! Send him little things, make him feel like he's appreciated. Sure the stereotypical guy is a brute, but I bet men like to be treated like kings as well. Do things that remind him of you, spend him a picture of you, or fill a box with a few things that are yours (that you don't mind giving away). You can also write him emails or even do it the old fashioned way and send him a letter through the mail. Be creative whatever it is that you plan to do. Every little bit of effort shows.

If you can, you should video chat with him online. You can use the free program called Skype to see him when you guys are apart. This is a great alternative to talking on the phone. There is so much that the human face can convey that the voice can't. Being able to see the other person is just another level of connection.

Besides things you can do, here's one very important question to think about: when will it end? Talk to your boyfriend and figure out a date when the long distance relationship will stop and you will live together again. This is very important, this will help set a goal in sight when things will be over. Without it the constant distance will seem to last forever. This is by far the most important point.

Last but not least, don't give up. I'm currently in a long distance relationship where I can only see my girlfriend every 2 months, we've been doing this for 2 years now and we are still going strong. I hope everything works out for you in the end, and I support you in your decision to stay together!


- jinger89
Triple_7
Long distance relationships are hard...but they can work.

I had the experience of dating a foreign exchange student from Taiwan back in high school. We became really close and I proposed to her. She liked this area so much her plan was to move back here for collage. She left that summer and we continued to use the internet as a main source of communication. I graduated the following year and as a graduation gift to myself flew 38 hours and 14,500km one way to see her for 3 weeks. My final night there we went out alone to talk things over, her family did not want to spend the money to send her to an American collage and she could not make the return to the US. We are still very close friends and I have intentions of going back for more visits in the future but we no longer have the intentions of getting married. Both of us were heart broken over the situation but remaining good friends has been the best thing to cope with it. The entire 30+ hour journey home I was upset and couldn't sleep for a minute of it. But now things are fine even with thousands of miles between us. Things probably would have worked out much better if we weren't so far apart. But in this case it was better to take a different road.

200km and getting to see each other every 3 weeks...use that to an advantage. Long distance is hard enough...but not being able to see each other at all is even harder, 3 weeks may seem like an eternity...but it can be worse. Make the best of it for now and when things return to normal you will see it was worth it. Wink
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