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What does it take to convince yourself something ?





LuckyMan
What does it take to convince yourself that something is true even though it's not, I am asking this because I'm becoming sick and tired of dealing with the reality that life isn't perfect and that things go wrong sometimes, so I'm looking for advice on how to convince myself day and night that reality is what I want it to be even though that's not true ? I may need to repeat out loud daily " There's no such thing as bad, I am a god of perfection and can will anything into going my way " . I'm sorry if I sound insane I'm just tired of dealing with the fact that not everything is going to go well in life. Any tips on how to convince myself that life is perfect ?
HamsterMan
Life is what you make of it.
LuckyMan
No I'm talking about how to convince myself that something is true even though it's not, for example I want to live in a mansion but don't so maybe if I deceive myself by convincing myself that I do I'll end up believing it's true.

Like say for instance a man misses his grandma that passed away and can't get over it so ends up convincing himself that she's still alive even though she's dead and is deceived into believing that she's still alive so he ends up talking to the air thinking that his grandma is there.
Jinx
That way lies madness.
Rather than try to convince yourself of the lie, it would be better to change what you desire.
Instead of pining for a mansion, why not remind yourself how blessed you are to have a home when so many live on the street.
Rather than wish that your grandmother was alive again, remember the blessing of having had her in your life and hope instead that wherever she is now she is happy.

According to the Buddhists all suffering comes from desire. If you can let go of those desires that are torturing you and live thankful for what you have you will find that you are much more peaceful in your life as it is.

This is not to say you shouldn't strive to better yourself or your life, but focus more on being thankful for what you have and on reaching realistic goals than on envying what others have that you do not.

....

If that doesn't work for you then try this - money and things don't make people happy. There is a much higher divorce rate among the wealthy. People with outrageous amounts of money are usually very lonely because it's hard for them to trust the people around them - how do you know who your real friends are when everyone acts nice to you because they want something from you?
The really important things in life are those things that are free - family, friends, love, laughter, sunshine.

...

Happiness is all about how you look at life. If you constantly yearn for things you can't have you will be wasting your life in misery, but if you an bring yourself to be content with the good things in your life you will be happier.
LuckyMan
I would but my desires are too strong to change, because I've been desiring them for such a long time now which has caused an unhealthy will to get my way which also makes it harder for me to cope with reality. I want to live a normal life but struggle to do so due to extreme emotional want which has caused me to argue with authority on a daily bases and if I don't help control my desires will make it nearly impossible for me to keep a job if I had one since my desires would stifle with my ability to follow the rules at said job.

As a friend my advice would be that whenever your ego starts kicking in push it away else you'll only make things worse for yourself, at least that's what is starting to happen to me. See, I have a will and determination to get my way which a lot of the time makes it more difficult to follow rules since most of the time my wanting this and that causes me to oppose any obstacles that block me.
Parkour_Jarrod
Why do you need to be told that life is true/ real??

If its not how would you have the conscience to be able to post the topic that shows that you know that there is lies and truth? So to convince yourself that life is real and that things are real just think conscientiously and you will find your answer.

Also i would recommend reading / watching The Secret

Everything is real in subconscious its the conscience that makes us think that it not.
LuckyMan
The problem is is that I follow my emotions instead of my common sense which a lot of the time causes me to ignore the fact that there are boundaries and limits which is why I never leave the house since I can't limit my wanting to get my way to things that I can attain. I live in a fantasy world where laws and rules and authority don't exist and have lived in that fantasy world for so I have trouble accepting the truth, which is why I pretend I already have everything I desire since most of those desires are not attainable and if pursued foolishly would get me into trouble not only with my parents but with the authorities. See I'm that type of guy that hates being opposed. I hate it when somebody opposes me with an politically incorrect statement I get offended. I've tried helping myself but fail to realize that I can't live in a fantasy world. I'm sick of being miserable so I'm going to have to pretend that I already have everything I ever wanted and eventually hope to end up believing it to be true.
deanhills
LuckyMan wrote:
The problem is is that I follow my emotions instead of my common sense which a lot of the time causes me to ignore the fact that there are boundaries and limits which is why I never leave the house since I can't limit my wanting to get my way to things that I can attain. I live in a fantasy world where laws and rules and authority don't exist and have lived in that fantasy world for so I have trouble accepting the truth, which is why I pretend I already have everything I desire since most of those desires are not attainable and if pursued foolishly would get me into trouble not only with my parents but with the authorities. See I'm that type of guy that hates being opposed. I hate it when somebody opposes me with an politically incorrect statement I get offended. I've tried helping myself but fail to realize that I can't live in a fantasy world. I'm sick of being miserable so I'm going to have to pretend that I already have everything I ever wanted and eventually hope to end up believing it to be true.

LuckyMan, you want to live in a Mansion, go out and get a Mansion! But now I have a question for you. Do you really want to live in a mansion? Because if you really really REALLY wanted it badly enough, you will be out there making sure that you will get what you desire. Instead of moping about not getting it. You're overthinking things. If you don't increase the action part in your life, you are going to get more and more frustrated.

Why do you want to change your mind once you have come to a conclusion? I don't understand that part of it. Surely you need to be true to yourself and honour what you stand for, and if that is different from people around you, well let them know. I'm sure they won't mind, and if they do, well that is their problem isn't it, as you do have the right to come to your own conclusions. But conversely of course, you need to respect other people's right to have a different opinion too, and to expect that other people's opinions may be different. As much as you would hate someone else to force their opinion down your throat, you should restrain yourself from forcing other people to think the way you do. Unless they are in your employment of course. Even then however, one seldom gets results with forcing your opinion on other people. Much better to set an example of action, and to go out and get what you want.

Be careful of your ego as well. As your opinion may be important to you, but not as important to the other person. In the end action ALWAYS speaks louder than words!

Go and dream your mansion, plan it, design it, and then work out how you are going to get the money to pay for it. Attend shows, work on it, focus on it, and eventually it will become yours.
Hogwarts
Parkour_Jarrod wrote:
Also i would recommend reading / watching The Secret


*stab*

No. No, no, no! Unless, of course, you're trying to prove the truth of something by comparing it to the complete inverse? Shocked

LuckyMan wrote:
I live in a fantasy world where laws and rules and authority don't exist and have lived in that fantasy world for so I have trouble accepting the truth, which is why I pretend I already have everything I desire since most of those desires are not attainable and if pursued foolishly would get me into trouble not only with my parents but with the authorities.


What you need is reality, not truth Sad

There's a legitimate method of obtaining anything rational; and I strongly recommend you don't view "The Secret"; a complete load of [censored] which "people get what they desire by willing to have it". Sure, it's possible to do so. However, generally that involves getting shot and/or put in jail.

What could possibly be so elusive that you can't physically work towars obtaining it?
andredesignz
All I can say to you Lucky Man is that you are a lucky man to be living until now that’s a blessing from God I must say…. My advice to you is to pray and believe In the Lord and u might have a choice not to get sick believe me that works ONLY if u have faith and believe in Christ.
speeDemon
well, sometimes I used to think like, heyy I want to go to hogwarts and learn magic there!!

I too wanted to go and live my dream, well actually the dream was so big, that well, it can only be a dream...

Convincing yourself that this can never happen is difficult, and well, even if you do somehow convince yourself, then you feel really bad... as the thing is never going to happen!

But then I thought, that hogwarts isn't really a fact, its fiction, if I can't go there, well, actually no one can.. so I felt a ton better... and anyway after some days, that whole feeling the 'I want to attend hogwarts' goes away....

A similar case happened when I saw the Pirates of the caribbean trilogy... but then I got over it within a few days...

But all this was fiction, sometimes there are things that can be acheived, but you are not able to acheive them,,, like maybe you wanted to live in switzerland and ski all day! or something like that, but you have to understand that less than 1% of the people who want that are getting it, and actually out of that 1%, 0.5 are the ones who may not even want it, and they are getting it.....

So you can feel happy by thinking that there must be thousands of people who want this but can't have it!

Another thing that helps a lot, a little off topic, but, is that whenever you feel sad and deppressed then think that there must be some poor person/creature, who must be having a even worse day than you must be having.... it helps a lot at times!
ocalhoun
LuckyMan wrote:
Any tips on how to convince myself that life is perfect ?

Well, I would consider long and hard if you should convince yourself of a lie or not, but if you've decided to, I know a way.

Lay down in a place where nobody can bother you and (importantly) you can't hear anybody saying anything, including radio.
The part of your brain that filters false information out is right next to the part that controls muscle movement.
One by one, slowly tense up and relax every muscle in your body, synchronized with slow breathing. (I prefer to end with the muscles that control eye movement.)
While doing so, visualize your tension flowing out of you like water into whatever you're laying on and keep in mind that you're relaxing the muscle control center, which also relaxes the adjacent part that filters out the false information.
Once you get to the right point of relaxation and you stop the cycle of tensing and relaxing, you can get to a point where your ability to determine if information is true or false is reduced.
Once there, you can tell yourself anything, and it'll be accepted by your mind as true no matter what.
After you're done, make sure you re-activate it (by telling yourself to re-activate it, and with a little light exercise), or you'll continue to accept anything you hear or read for a while!

I've tried this kind of self-hypnosis myself, and it does work very well. At first it may be difficult, but with practice it gets easier and more effective.
Once you've tried it a few times, you can prove it to yourself. One thing I did was tell myself "I won't be able to open my eyes until I count to 10" That proved this method to me, because that really worked. I couldn't open my eyes at all, despite trying very hard (very scary), luckily I added in the 'until I count to 10' part, or I would have had to do the self-hypnosis again and tell myself that I could open them.
speeDemon
ocalhoun wrote:
LuckyMan wrote:
Any tips on how to convince myself that life is perfect ?

Well, I would consider long and hard if you should convince yourself of a lie or not, but if you've decided to, I know a way.

Lay down in a place where nobody can bother you and (importantly) you can't hear anybody saying anything, including radio.
The part of your brain that filters false information out is right next to the part that controls muscle movement.
One by one, slowly tense up and relax every muscle in your body, synchronized with slow breathing. (I prefer to end with the muscles that control eye movement.)
While doing so, visualize your tension flowing out of you like water into whatever you're laying on and keep in mind that you're relaxing the muscle control center, which also relaxes the adjacent part that filters out the false information.
Once you get to the right point of relaxation and you stop the cycle of tensing and relaxing, you can get to a point where your ability to determine if information is true or false is reduced.
Once there, you can tell yourself anything, and it'll be accepted by your mind as true no matter what.
After you're done, make sure you re-activate it (by telling yourself to re-activate it, and with a little light exercise), or you'll continue to accept anything you hear or read for a while!

I've tried this kind of self-hypnosis myself, and it does work very well. At first it may be difficult, but with practice it gets easier and more effective.
Once you've tried it a few times, you can prove it to yourself. One thing I did was tell myself "I won't be able to open my eyes until I count to 10" That proved this method to me, because that really worked. I couldn't open my eyes at all, despite trying very hard (very scary), luckily I added in the 'until I count to 10' part, or I would have had to do the self-hypnosis again and tell myself that I could open them.


hey really! wow, thats kind of freaky as well as cool!! i'll try that soon!!
deanhills
ocalhoun wrote:
LuckyMan wrote:
Any tips on how to convince myself that life is perfect ?

Well, I would consider long and hard if you should convince yourself of a lie or not, but if you've decided to, I know a way.

Lay down in a place where nobody can bother you and (importantly) you can't hear anybody saying anything, including radio.
The part of your brain that filters false information out is right next to the part that controls muscle movement.
One by one, slowly tense up and relax every muscle in your body, synchronized with slow breathing. (I prefer to end with the muscles that control eye movement.)
While doing so, visualize your tension flowing out of you like water into whatever you're laying on and keep in mind that you're relaxing the muscle control center, which also relaxes the adjacent part that filters out the false information.
Once you get to the right point of relaxation and you stop the cycle of tensing and relaxing, you can get to a point where your ability to determine if information is true or false is reduced.
Once there, you can tell yourself anything, and it'll be accepted by your mind as true no matter what.
After you're done, make sure you re-activate it (by telling yourself to re-activate it, and with a little light exercise), or you'll continue to accept anything you hear or read for a while!

I've tried this kind of self-hypnosis myself, and it does work very well. At first it may be difficult, but with practice it gets easier and more effective.
Once you've tried it a few times, you can prove it to yourself. One thing I did was tell myself "I won't be able to open my eyes until I count to 10" That proved this method to me, because that really worked. I couldn't open my eyes at all, despite trying very hard (very scary), luckily I added in the 'until I count to 10' part, or I would have had to do the self-hypnosis again and tell myself that I could open them.

Sounds like a really good strategy. Will try it myself too. Does it help for pain management too when you relax your muscles? Just thought that when you are in pain, possibly it must be very difficult to relax your muscles? Guess it takes a lot of self-discipline too, as I can see myself falling asleep after relaxing my foot muscles. Smile
ocalhoun
deanhills wrote:

Sounds like a really good strategy. Will try it myself too. Does it help for pain management too when you relax your muscles? Just thought that when you are in pain, possibly it must be very difficult to relax your muscles?

Help with pain management? Only as much as any kind of relaxing will, until you get good enough at it that you can tell yourself something doesn't hurt. I told myself that pain feels good, and as long as I remember that, I'll automatically remember that it is true, and I don't mind pain anymore. (That works for sharp, momentary pain, but for long aching pain, I'm not good enough at it for it to work.)

Quote:
Guess it takes a lot of self-discipline too, as I can see myself falling asleep after relaxing my foot muscles. Smile

True it does take self-discipline... I can do it because I pride myself on self-discipline, to the point where I can control 'involuntary' things like hiccups, sneezes, and yawns. (I can make any of those stop immediately, but can't make them start on demand.)
LuckyMan
The main reason I want to convince myself that a lie is true is because there is a girl I have been after for years and since I have failed to get her attention and don't want to move on I'm just going to hypnotize myself into believing that she's here even though she's not and eventually I'll believe it.
deanhills
LuckyMan wrote:
The main reason I want to convince myself that a lie is true is because there is a girl I have been after for years and since I have failed to get her attention and don't want to move on I'm just going to hypnotize myself into believing that she's here even though she's not and eventually I'll believe it.

Maybe she is not, but your thoughts about her are? Think the best way to get rid of the thoughts about her, is to have thoughts about someone else? In fact, even better than that is to start dating someone to create experiences that would focus your thoughts on something else, not necessarily better, but to let your life move forwards. The next girl may not be "the one", but she could be a good friend, or an experience that leads to the next one. So go out and get going, action is much better than overthinking subjects which have no reality base anyway.
Afaceinthematrix
LuckyMan wrote:
What does it take to convince yourself that something is true even though it's not, I am asking this because I'm becoming sick and tired of dealing with the reality that life isn't perfect and that things go wrong sometimes, so I'm looking for advice on how to convince myself day and night that reality is what I want it to be even though that's not true ? I may need to repeat out loud daily " There's no such thing as bad, I am a god of perfection and can will anything into going my way " . I'm sorry if I sound insane I'm just tired of dealing with the fact that not everything is going to go well in life. Any tips on how to convince myself that life is perfect ?


Drink a lot of alcohol... Okay... Maybe you should NOT listen to my advice right there... Drinking just to escape your problems will help you escape your "imperfect life" but will lead on to a road of alcoholism.

You shouldn't try to just convince yourself that reality isn't correct. That's just dangerous nonsense. It's best not to live under a delusion. Instead, you should just harness whatever energy you have into doing something productive that will better your life and make it closer to the ideal perfection that you seek.
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