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HELP! No-one can stop my bros. addiction to drugs!





Kyohtee
Please Help!! Im 13, and my 17 year old brother has a huge addiction to drugs...and i can't just sit back and let the havoc raise to hell. Sad My brother does ciggarettes..marijuanah, dip, weed, and drinks beer and wine.My brother has even gotten locked completeley out of our house before, which after he got in he was told to go.. and never.. under any cicumstances.. come back, of course he did.Every night he comes home smelling like booze and drugs...and comes home at about 5:00- 6:20.We know where this is coming from.. by that i mean the people from which he started with the drugs...he also has Condoms litteraly EVERYWHERE!!!!Please help i don't know what to do...i love my brother but slowly the love is turning into pure hate...
ocalhoun
I doubt you can do anything to control him if even your parent(s) can't.
Perhaps if you have some special bond with him you can use to influence him, but I doubt you have a bond stronger than the bonds of his addictions.

You could turn him in to the cops for the drugs if you want, though that probably will only straighten him out temporarily, and may make him resentful of you.

You could also let him enjoy his own freedom of choice, and hope he grows out of it in time, which is really the best thing to do unless he is hurting others by his actions (other than emotionally).
miacps
ocalhoun wrote:
You could also let him enjoy his own freedom of choice, and hope he grows out of it in time, which is really the best thing to do unless he is hurting others by his actions (other than emotionally).


This may be the best way to deal with it. Another option is an intervention with concerned family and friends present so he knows his use (abuse?) is worrying them.

If he needs help quitting, there's always rehab, but unless he himself actually wants to quit there's no way it will work.


My friend got in trouble with the law when he was younger and had to go to rehab and get periodic drug tests. He didn't actually want to quit so as soon as he finished with rehab he started smoking again. Rehab for weed is kind of silly to begin with since the drug isn't so much addictive as it is habit forming. Just about anyone with a bit of will power can say "no" if they don't want to smoke some bud.

Cigarettes and alcohol are more problematic since they can form strong physical and psychological dependencies and contain toxic compounds. They're not something you'd want to use in frequency, but then again no drug is.

ocalhoun wrote:
You could turn him in to the cops for the drugs if you want, though that probably will only straighten him out temporarily, and may make him resentful of you.


I think this is a really bad idea. You don't want the law involved, it would only make matters worse. Adult time out (jail) never set anyone straight, it only subjects (in this case) a nonviolent drug user to incarceration with violent criminals and we all know the saying of "one bad apple spoils the bunch".



P.S. You should be glad your bro is using condoms, it shows he has some sense of safety.
deanhills
Perhaps you need help more than your brother does. The feeling of helpnesness has to be overwhelming and there is really nothing you can do to change your brother's behaviour, the best way that you can help him, is to be strong in yourself. Suggest you visit your local library and find out if there are any support groups in your community that you can join. There are usually always groups who support families of people who are addicted and are going through what you are going through right now. It will help you to get perspective and to know that you are not alone, nor responsible in any way.
missdixy
All I can really say is that hopefully he will get over this phase someday. but he might not. My brother was the same way for a while -- for about two to three years actually, and then eventually started getting his life together. Hopefully your brother will have some sense and evnetually do the same. If not -- like others suggested -- intervention is always a choice.
mattyj
Kyohtee wrote:
Please Help!! Im 12, and my 17 year old brother has a huge addiction to drugs...and i can't just sit back and let the havoc raise to hell. Sad My brother does ciggarettes..marijuanah, dip, weed, and drinks beer and wine.My brother has even gotten locked completeley out of our house before, which after he got in he was told to go.. and never.. under any cicumstances.. come back, of course he did.Every night he comes home smelling like booze and drugs...and comes home at about 5:00- 6:20.We know where this is coming from.. by that i mean the people from which he started with the drugs...he also has Condoms litteraly EVERYWHERE!!!!Please help i don't know what to do...i love my brother but slowly the love is turning into pure hate...


Marijuana and Weed are the same thing?

And having condoms everywhere, thats a bad thing? It means he's practicing safe sex, meaning he wont catch any STDs and wont be getting girls pregnant, whats the problem with condoms?
bloodrider
If he don't abuse or surpass some "barriers" we won't be lost, as he grow older we will learn and we won't take more drugs or that much Razz
I myself made some crazinesses in my youth but with time I grew up, now I only take some weed from time to time or some buzz with my friends Wink
Kyohtee
mattyj wrote:
Kyohtee wrote:
Please Help!! Im 12, and my 17 year old brother has a huge addiction to drugs...and i can't just sit back and let the havoc raise to hell. Sad My brother does ciggarettes..marijuanah, dip, weed, and drinks beer and wine.My brother has even gotten locked completeley out of our house before, which after he got in he was told to go.. and never.. under any cicumstances.. come back, of course he did.Every night he comes home smelling like booze and drugs...and comes home at about 5:00- 6:20.We know where this is coming from.. by that i mean the people from which he started with the drugs...he also has Condoms litteraly EVERYWHERE!!!!Please help i don't know what to do...i love my brother but slowly the love is turning into pure hate...


Marijuana and Weed are the same thing?

And having condoms everywhere, thats a bad thing? It means he's practicing safe sex, meaning he wont catch any STDs and wont be getting girls pregnant, whats the problem with condoms?


Well sorry i didn't know it's not like im some weird addicted fool. Confused But i know.. practicing safe sex and all that crap aint bad but to have like 30 condoms....u should realy only have 1 -3 right??? And thanks for the replys my parents are watching this too and finding new ideas we didn't think of.
mattyj
Kyohtee wrote:
mattyj wrote:
Kyohtee wrote:
Please Help!! Im 12, and my 17 year old brother has a huge addiction to drugs...and i can't just sit back and let the havoc raise to hell. Sad My brother does ciggarettes..marijuanah, dip, weed, and drinks beer and wine.My brother has even gotten locked completeley out of our house before, which after he got in he was told to go.. and never.. under any cicumstances.. come back, of course he did.Every night he comes home smelling like booze and drugs...and comes home at about 5:00- 6:20.We know where this is coming from.. by that i mean the people from which he started with the drugs...he also has Condoms litteraly EVERYWHERE!!!!Please help i don't know what to do...i love my brother but slowly the love is turning into pure hate...


Marijuana and Weed are the same thing?

And having condoms everywhere, thats a bad thing? It means he's practicing safe sex, meaning he wont catch any STDs and wont be getting girls pregnant, whats the problem with condoms?


Well sorry i didn't know it's not like im some weird addicted fool. Confused But i know.. practicing safe sex and all that crap aint bad but to have like 30 condoms....u should realy only have 1 -3 right??? And thanks for the replys my parents are watching this too and finding new ideas we didn't think of.


you dont have to be a "weed addicted fool" to know Weed and Marijuana are the same thing....ive never smoked weed in my life and know they are the same Rolling Eyes

and what difference does it make if he has 30 or 3? Good luck to him i say, at least hes being safe
officernarc
Kyohtee wrote:
Please Help!! Im 13, and my 17 year old brother has a huge addiction to drugs...and i can't just sit back and let the havoc raise to hell. Sad My brother does ciggarettes..marijuanah, dip, weed, and drinks beer and wine.My brother has even gotten locked completeley out of our house before, which after he got in he was told to go.. and never.. under any cicumstances.. come back, of course he did.Every night he comes home smelling like booze and drugs...and comes home at about 5:00- 6:20.We know where this is coming from.. by that i mean the people from which he started with the drugs...he also has Condoms litteraly EVERYWHERE!!!!Please help i don't know what to do...i love my brother but slowly the love is turning into pure hate...


maybe you should stop being so judgmental. i mean, really, he isn't your responsibility. he's your parents'. so unless he's stealing from you to buy crack, give it a rest.

if it really bothers you, you can try having your parents call the police on him and maybe get him into a drug treatment facility. other than that though, you have absolutely no control over his actions. if he's decided to go out and smoke weed or drink, you can't really do much to stop him. eventually, he's going to realize that his actions have consequences, but until then you're pretty much out of luck, i suppose.
thadnation
smoking weed isn't necesarily a bad thing, adn he's practicing safe sex, so I think you should wait for him to grow out of it. don't hate your brother, just wait for him to grow up
tchaunt
I once had an Uncle like this. He had a horrible addiction to drugs. He would sell anything he could get for the money to buy drugs. He was at the lowest of low. He wasn't even living. He would get high, get caught doing something stupid, and go to jail. Then, my grandmother, who didn't have much money, would pay the bale to get his sorry butt out. He promised he would never do drugs again. He would maintain the promise for a little while (maybe two weeks). Then, he was shooting himself up again, getting thrown in jail, and the cycle went on. Well, my grandmother died in a car wreck. After his many years of getting to do drugs and have her pay the bail, no one was left who would pay the bale. After serving his time in jail, he came out to nothing. No one wanted to be around him or associate with him. He had lost everything. He found a cave on the mountain side that my family has always called the flintstone cave. It is made up of massive slabs of rock sticking up out of the ground. Then, there is another slab on top that forms a roof. The weird thing is, there are smaller rocks inside that form like a hallway. It loops around and forms almost a air conditioning unit: it keeps the interior warm in winter and cool in summer.
Well, he "moved in" the flintstone cave 4 years ago. To this day, he is suffering from his stupid addictions. But, he has finally quit doing drugs. He is actually trying to save money now.

Sometimes, to recover, people have to lose everything.
Zombie
That's some good advice... I can't say anything else besides be persistent
carlospro7
Condoms are not a bad thing. He seems to be practicing safe sex. And there are worse drugs than marijuana. There is a show called intervention, if you think you're brother is that bad.
Gonzalo
Dude, you should search for help in a rehab clinic around your area. First ask for help there, ask them what you can do to help, they will have an answer for any situation.

Best of luck,

Gonzalo.
[FuN]goku
Well.... I have to say this, i know alot of people who are into drugs/alcohol. I'm in a highschool where i'd say about 45% do alcohol, and maybe 15% of the school does weed. Anyways.

Alot of my friends smoke dope, and while i DON'T ... i have to say... Compared to other drugs, weed isn't really that bad. I know people who will go get stoned in the morning, go to class, and in an hour or so the effects wear off.

Now, while I don't exactly think that smoking dope is good for you, i don't think it's bad either. I would be more worried if your brother was into something like... say Ecstasy... i have a friend who did E during the summer when she was at a concert, and then when she went home after, she had a panic attack and tried to kill herself, but before she was into that kind of stuff, she used to cut her wrists. So there could be 2 factors for that.

Another thing i'd be worried about is acid.... Actually... i'd say you should be worried if he tries anything other than weed.. my ex, her brother got forced into trying weed, then he liked it, and she found out about this because he forgot to log off a forum where he posted a story about how he started smoking it. So she was worried about it, and she told me about it... and then she ended up having a talk to him about it, and said if he tried anything else, she'd say something to her parents.

As for alcohol, theres alot of underage drinking these days. I'm 18, and i don't drink for the sake of getting drunk. I'll have something every now and then like... maybe a cooler, mudslide, or even the occasional beer, and wine on holidays, but i've never drank enough to completely impair my judgement. I have better things to be doing.

The condoms, thats probably a good thing, better safe than sorry i guess is how you can phrase that.

I'm canadian , and everyone who wants good work, moves out west. So i have an uncle who did this..I live with my grandparents , so i know pretty much everything they do and talk about. For years while my uncle was out west, he was fine, but eventually, he asked my grandparents for money, he said he was in financial trouble. So they sent him some money. Eventually he asked for some more again, so they questioned this. The finally got the truth out of him. He'd been doing crack, and he said he wanted to get off it. So he said he wanted some money for a plane ticket home. So they sent him some more money, and he came home, and i was expecting to see him in horrible shape, however he didnt look too bad. So what he did when he came home, was he stayed with us for a few months, found a job and got back on track. That was about 2 years ago. To this day he is still working, and has his own apartment now. He actually has a perscription from the doctors for weed, which he uses for his ADHD, or something. And it calms him down (he's stressed out alot, and also an energetic person). While my grandparents don't agree with it, they know that he's not gonna stop doing that, but they're okay with it, cuz they'd rather him have that, then be doing crack again.

I also just realised this is similar to tchaunt's story above, but my uncle never actually went to jail.

Anyways to sum that up, Weed isn't as bad as you think it is.... Other drugs, you gotta watch out for... and Alcohol.. well thats debateable.... it can be bad if the person drinks too much at once, they can get alcohol poisoning.

But.. yeah, thats my experiences with drugs and friends/family. I have more, but those were probably some of the more serious ones.

Maybe just have a chat with your bro if you can.... Maybe try to get him to go to a drug addiction services (if he's doing anything other than weed... i.e, acid, ecstasy, crack, coke, shrooms etc..)
if not. I'd leave him with that. From what i've heard, i don't think you can OD on weed.. like i think you'd have to smoke ALOT of it at one time. To my knowlege, the worst that will happen is he'd get body stoned (temporary paralisis, more or less) or, black out...

IMO, it's probably just a phase.. Alot of teens these days are having sex at an early age, and well into college.

Other than that... i have no clue what else to say. Thats my view on this.. Doesn't necessarily mean it's right .. but thats open to interpretation.
nolimitcare
i smoke marijuana and weed all the time, never thought the two names were different types of drugs, but i smoke it all the time, and i'm fine....wat were we talking about...oh yea condoms! he needs to be stocked up, i know wat it was like for me when i was 17, i'm 24 now. Smile he'll grow out of it, but weed isnt that bad, he gets high, when u start finding needles then start to worry. Smile
Kyohtee
Ok then, on another note.My Brother will be 18 this coming April,and were not poor or anything but we are DEFINATELY not buying him out of prison.Which i know he will more than likely go into before he gets a start with his "Adult" life.I'd say about 65% he will.And when he does my Dad says we'll change our last name. Laughing
carlospro7
Kyohtee wrote:
Ok then, on another note.My Brother will be 18 this coming April,and were not poor or anything but we are DEFINATELY not buying him out of prison.Which i know he will more than likely go into before he gets a start with his "Adult" life.I'd say about 65% he will.And when he does my Dad says we'll change our last name. Laughing


It sounds like there is a lot of negative feelings going on within your house toward your brother. When you use the word "when" when you refer to your brother going to prison (as opposed to saying "if he goes to prison"), it sounds like you have lost all hope for your brother. I'm sorry to say that if he were also my brother, that I would be more disappointed in you.
Jaan
the condoms arent that bad; protection is good.

but yeah i feel ya, id say the best solution is to send him off to far away family or caregiver for an extended period of time, it will do him goodand prevent relapse
miacps
Kyohtee wrote:
Ok then, on another note.My Brother will be 18 this coming April,and were not poor or anything but we are DEFINATELY not buying him out of prison.Which i know he will more than likely go into before he gets a start with his "Adult" life.I'd say about 65% he will.And when he does my Dad says we'll change our last name. Laughing


Sheesh, how could he ever think to use drugs when he has such a caring and understanding family? Rolling Eyes
Kyohtee
I didn't really mean that to Sound so funny.If you're wondering about the difference in the post,as in the mood,then he really is getting better with it.I've even learned to live with it even though sometimes i worry and hate the fights.I can't care less now since older adults or so are saying condoms aint that bad.If he smokes and drinks the smoking will be a habbit of his life,and as for drinking i just pray and hope it is not a every day common thing.He already has to take Drug Test,which i find COMPLETELY GAY.Oh well.
ankitdatashn
As everyone said Intervene, make him comfortable with your talks first, take him into trust, talk about the matter slowly and hopefully things will get sorted out.

Their might be different reasons for this kind of behaviour, It can be neglect as well as being spoilt. Find out the reason first before starting its cure.
slashnburn99
Watch a film by Ewan Mcregor called trainspotting

Watch how the characters change

Shows Drugs in a good way exciting at the beginning and the real story as the film goes on

Will be a struggle, he will need all your help

He will also have to break away from the friends he is with

Good luck
miacps
slashnburn99 wrote:
Watch a film by Ewan Mcregor called trainspotting

Watch how the characters change

Shows Drugs in a good way exciting at the beginning and the real story as the film goes on

Will be a struggle, he will need all your help

He will also have to break away from the friends he is with

Good luck


Trainspotting is about heroin.. Question
Josso
miacps wrote:
slashnburn99 wrote:
Watch a film by Ewan Mcregor called trainspotting

Watch how the characters change

Shows Drugs in a good way exciting at the beginning and the real story as the film goes on

Will be a struggle, he will need all your help

He will also have to break away from the friends he is with

Good luck


Trainspotting is about heroin.. Question


Comparing green to smack is like comparing my house to the empire state building.
tingkagol
Kyohtee wrote:
Please Help!! Im 13, and my 17 year old brother has a huge addiction to drugs...and i can't just sit back and let the havoc raise to hell. Sad My brother does ciggarettes..marijuanah, dip, weed, and drinks beer and wine.My brother has even gotten locked completeley out of our house before, which after he got in he was told to go.. and never.. under any cicumstances.. come back, of course he did.Every night he comes home smelling like booze and drugs...and comes home at about 5:00- 6:20.We know where this is coming from.. by that i mean the people from which he started with the drugs...he also has Condoms litteraly EVERYWHERE!!!!Please help i don't know what to do...i love my brother but slowly the love is turning into pure hate...

Let's see... he does marijuana, alcohol, and has sex (I've heard about "dip" but don't really know what it is). Anyway, I can understand your concern for your brother, but why was he locked out and told never to come back? Are your parents conservatives / uptight? If they are, then that would be the bigger problem. It would only make your brother rebel more.

I feel nobody should be locked out because they're drunk or stank of smoke or beer. I think you and your parents are overreacting.

But if he starts blatantly stealing things from the house to buy drugs, then I think it's time for rehab.
snowynight
Once addicted, it is hard to give up.

Get him a good doctor and make him a plan to stop the drug addiction.
There are ways to stop it, when you wish.
jessicawalker
I doubt Trainspotting will be a very encouraging experience for a worried 13-year-old. lol
fruitcakelyts
Well I am 15 and from the experiences I have had in high school, I know that once you get on the wrong track everything goes downhill fast. I would suggest that your family does everything they can to get him in rehab becauseas much as you watch over him and try to make sure he stays safe, the more you are enabling him. It doesn't help to help him, if you can understand what I mean. The easier you make it for him not to pay attention and rely on you to watch over him the more he will lose control. I hope that he can get into rehab and realize how bad it is because I have seen people my age ruin their lives in 6 months. I hope this helped.
j_f_k
carlospro7 wrote:
Kyohtee wrote:
Ok then, on another note.My Brother will be 18 this coming April,and were not poor or anything but we are DEFINATELY not buying him out of prison.Which i know he will more than likely go into before he gets a start with his "Adult" life.I'd say about 65% he will.And when he does my Dad says we'll change our last name. Laughing


It sounds like there is a lot of negative feelings going on within your house toward your brother. When you use the word "when" when you refer to your brother going to prison (as opposed to saying "if he goes to prison"), it sounds like you have lost all hope for your brother. I'm sorry to say that if he were also my brother, that I would be more disappointed in you.


you're totally not qualified to say that unless you've been in the same sitation and successfully 'rescued' your errant brother/son/relative. if this is the case do tell what you did we would love to know. sorry to have a go at you but kyote said '65% chance not definate and you're disappointed that he's being 'written off'. very harsh IMHO.

You've hit the nail on the head in 1 place - 'a lot of negative feelings'. trust me this makes matters worse and might even be the root of the problem.

Have your parents considered family counselling? Part of the problem may be they havn't come to grips with the fact that they can't handle the situation and don't want to/too proud/too ashamed/to call in external help. Your priority is to find the cause of the problem not to find a way to 'enforce' what we consider 'acceptable' behaviour. The root cause isn't necessarily dodgy friends but could be related to the attitude of all members of the family.

You're right about the limited time frame, misdemeanors now will earn no more than a slap on the wrist but come april the stakes get higher so you've got to act fast.
DarkReaver
Its extremely hard to help someone in that situation if they dont want to be helped. I know from personal experience that only makes it worse and pushes the person away. There are tons of Anonymous groups he can attend as well as groups for family and friends. There are marijuana anonymous groups, alcohol, narcotics, cocaine all types.

Check out:
Narcotics Anonymous - www.nar-anon.org/naranongroups.htm
Anonymous Recovery Group Listings - http://www.ipass.net/a1idpirat/anonymousrecoverygroups.html
Al-Anon (alcohol) - http://www.ola-is.org/
Alcoholics Anonymous - www.aa.org/

one thing to note about AA meetings is that there are two types:
some meetings will be called"Open" (to anyone) and some will be "Closed"(for alcoholics only). They usually take place in a church or community center as its all run my volunteers and they can get free accomidations there.

Also check with your local hospitals and mental health (youth addictions as well) and ask about their youth addictions serivces.
mwsupra
Don't try to get him in trouble, maybe try to subtly hint to some areas that he can get help at and hope he takes your advice. If not, just let things run their course and hopefully he will his lesson, even if its the hard way.
rvec
I removed some of the flaming posts in the first page of this topic, moving it to relationships now.

And now my advice: Ignore it and make your brother feel you're still his brother and he can always come to you. After a while he'll either go the bad way and need help (and come to you) or he'll get everything straight again and thank you for supporting him whatever happened. 2 of my best friends have gone through something like that, and one really went bad because his parents didn't support him in the few things he did right, but kicked him out of the house for smoking pod(weed/cannabis/marihuana). Since then things only got worse till he started talking with his parents again.
mrcool
your brother is just in a stage of curiousity....it will pass sometime...let him experience whatever he wants...he will just stop when the right time comes...but don't forget your parents guidance and advices...
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