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I am writing a novel.

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saratdear
It has been in my mind for a long time, and I just finished what I think, is hopefully the first chapter.

It is about two teenage boys, as they fight with their own problems of life. Later, they run into trouble.

I just uploaded the first chapter, and I'd be happy if people could go through it and tell me how it is. Please do not hesitate to be harsh if you have to. Although it may worry me now, I don't doubt it would be useful to me.

Here is the link to the first chapter - http://www.saratsweb.frih.net/chapter.html

Comments, please. Smile

Sarat
wumingsden
So. You asked me to read it.

The story is culturally different to what I'm used to, therefore don't understand some words. Nor the name thing ... (the mothers lastname was Mrs.Rammohan, his Meghnath Mohan) / dosas?, etc. Therefore it may be wise to ask someone for the same culture to give it a read through too.

But all-in-all, I liked it. It sums up the confusion that boys go through, straight and gay. It'll be interesting to see which path it leads Smile
Diablosblizz
I love stories that younger people write, it's just so creative. I also read one from one of my friends and it was amazing! She stopped writing it though, which was a bummer. I wish she continued, because it was so good.

Onto yours, not bad but I got a little lost at the beginning. I didn't realize he was sleeping until I re-read it, and I hope he was sleeping or I am just completly lost.

Good job on the first one, I will be back for more!!
saratdear
wumingsden wrote:
So. You asked me to read it.

The story is culturally different to what I'm used to, therefore don't understand some words. Nor the name thing ... (the mothers lastname was Mrs.Rammohan, his Meghnath Mohan) / dosas?, etc. Therefore it may be wise to ask someone for the same culture to give it a read through too.

But all-in-all, I liked it. It sums up the confusion that boys go through, straight and gay. It'll be interesting to see which path it leads Smile

Well, thank you!

As I am from India, I just automatically wrote for an Indian audience. Rammohan is an Indian name, and dosas is an Indian dish. Tasty as well. Razz

Diablosblizz wrote:

Onto yours, not bad but I got a little lost at the beginning. I didn't realize he was sleeping until I re-read it, and I hope he was sleeping or I am just completly lost.

Thanks for giving it a go. Smile

Yes, he was sleeping. Sorry for the confusion, I just had a starting problem.

I have not yet started writing the second chapter, but now I have some encouragement. Smile
ssthanapati
it was goo but needs more improvement

it was all Meg Meg Meg and suddenly it became Binoy

I got lost there... According to me that part needs a little work other than that it was good
saratdear
ssthanapati wrote:
it was goo but needs more improvement

it was all Meg Meg Meg and suddenly it became Binoy

I got lost there... According to me that part needs a little work other than that it was good

Thanks for commenting. Smile

I didn't think of that, but the way my story is coming around, it needs to be said from both the characters' point of view, so I guess I can't change that. But I will try to make sure that the switches are not so abrupt.
saratdear
Hi,

I thought I'd go ahead and post Chapter 2 and 4. Chapter 3 is not done, but I have written the last part of it.

Sorry, it is password protected.

Chapter 2 : http://saratdear.wordpress.com/2008/12/10/chapter-2/
Password is - impersonal

Chapter 3 & 4: http://saratdear.wordpress.com/2008/12/10/ending-of-chapter-3-chapter-4/
Password is - insignia

Thanks for taking the time. The password is there for extra protection, that is all.
lagoon
So, it's sort of like 'Blood brothers', but in a different culture?
saratdear
lagoon wrote:
So, it's sort of like 'Blood brothers', but in a different culture?


As I've never watched or read 'Blood Brothers' (forgive my ignorance Embarassed I searched around and found at least 3 different movies and novels) I can't really say.

You liked the story?
jsarnold
Hello - what's happened here then? I have just followed your link to view the first chapter, and I got a 404 page.

Have you moved it? Given up? Moved on?

Perhaps you could let us know what the latest is with this project? I hope it's working out for you. if you want any further feedback, on subsequent drafts for example, just drop a link back in here and I'll take a look for you.
saratdear
jsarnold wrote:
Hello - what's happened here then? I have just followed your link to view the first chapter, and I got a 404 page.

Have you moved it? Given up? Moved on?

Perhaps you could let us know what the latest is with this project? I hope it's working out for you. if you want any further feedback, on subsequent drafts for example, just drop a link back in here and I'll take a look for you.

Thanks for the interest! Smile

I kind of postponed this thing, because I am really busy with exams and all that. I removed the 1st Chapter from there because I felt it was too public. I republished it on my blog, with a password :

Chapter 1 : http://saratdear.wordpress.com/2009/01/28/chapter-1/
Password : yourchoice

Chapter 2 : http://saratdear.wordpress.com/2008/12/10/chapter-2/
Password is - impersonal

Chapter 3 & 4: http://saratdear.wordpress.com/2008/12/10/ending-of-chapter-3-chapter-4/
Password is - insignia
kutekitten
I'm in the middle of writing a novel as well, and I don't really have the time to read yours right now (sorry) but I didn't get to finish my first attempt at writing because someone constructively criticized my work, I hope it doesn't happen to you, but I couldn't write anymore because I worried too much about what I'd already read instead of writing more of it, but that's just me. (btw, if you'd like to know, I'm currently rewriting my first attempt, I like it a lot more Razz)
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