FRIHOSTFORUMSSEARCHFAQTOSBLOGSCOMPETITIONS
You are invited to Log in or Register a free Frihost Account!


For boys: Do you get attracted to other guys?





saratdear
So...I am going through this weird phase when everything seems horny and all that. I left it at that, since I guessed getting attracted to girls was normal. But then the problem started, because I found out I was also getting attracted to older guys in my school. I would spend hours thinking about them, how popular they were, etc.etc. Naturally, I freaked out. Smile

SO I started hunting on the internet. And I finally found an explanation on this site - http://www.boysunderattack.com/gay.html (Caution: Contains words like sexuality; but nothing else) - and I finally began to accept it as a part of growing up.

What I would like to know is, how many of you went through similar a similar experience? If you wouldn't mind, share your story? Atleast it will make me feel better. Smile
wumingsden
Firstly, and in advance I shall say sorry for my language, but that website is complete and utter bullshit. The first diagram explaining how homosexuality comes about is completely laughable.

The second paragraph says ...
Quote:
The strength or weakness of your internal masculine identity is a reflection of the way you have been able to relate to your father or father figure.


Me and my brother have the same father. We've grown up in exactly the same environment, and have been treated exactly the same. However, I am very femanine. And my brother is very masculine. This is just one example of how ludricris that sentence is.
Nor does it take into account straight femanine-acting guys or gay masculine guys. Its basically saying if your gay you had problems from childhood and will act femanine which is obviously rubbish.

Another quote...
Quote:
Masculinity is bestowed. A boy learns who he is and what he's got from a man or the company of men. He cannot learn it any other place. He cannot learn it from other boys, and he cannot learn it from the world of women.


One of my male friends was completely brought up by an all female family (his mother, aunts and grandmother). His father wasn't around from when his mum got pregnant and nor was there any other men involved in his upbringing. But he's straight, and is masculine.
Now I have another friend who was also in the same position but he's gay and masculine.
And then there's me who's been brought up by my mother and father, lots of uncles/cousins/grandfathers, etc. I'm gay and femanine.
So yet again a stupid claim.

I skipped the rest. I think its a waste of time reading it.

Now. I'll tell you my opinion.

I think everyone has a bit of "homosexuality" in them. This is only natural, as why would you not like something when its an image of ones-self? But usually this bit of gayness leads to nothing. I'm a gay guy, I have been for as far as I remember. I've never really been attracted to a woman, but know that I could be. There should be no barriers ... You don't stop being attracted by someone because there white/black/asian nor if they're christian/hindu/atheist. Nor is there a barriar on love.

So. Most men at one point in there lives are attracted to other men. And sometimes that persists. But if they are always been attracted to other men but never have a gay experinece, are they gay?
Or if they class themself as straight but have gay experiences, are they still straight?

Labels are labels. If your gay, its Okay! lol. Most think its a big deal, but its only a very small part of someone.
mrcool
of course not! what kind of question you had in mind? I never thought it would come out...maybe gays rather would get attracted to a guy...but not a real man...
saratdear
wumingsden wrote:

The second paragraph says ...
Quote:
The strength or weakness of your internal masculine identity is a reflection of the way you have been able to relate to your father or father figure.


Me and my brother have the same father. We've grown up in exactly the same environment, and have been treated exactly the same. However, I am very femanine. And my brother is very masculine. This is just one example of how ludricris that sentence is.

I beg to disagree. Nowhere does that statement say that your internal masculine identity depends upon the way your father or father figure treats you. It says that it is the way how you relate to the father figure.
What you are saying seems to be the same as : How well you score in the class depends on the way how the teacher treats you, and not on how well you try to understand the teacher.

@mrcool - Were you responding to my original question?
wumingsden
Yes he was...but of course, "real men" can't be gay can they "Mr.Cool".

And don't beg, that isn't cool Wink
I tend to agree with you though to a certain degree. But being able to relate isn't an innate thing, we are taught it. Which suggests that we were both treated the same, so we should both act similiar. But we couldn't be further from opposites.
The statement was more of a ... example. That isn't the case in my family.

Quote:
What you are saying seems to be the same as : How well you score in the class depends on the way how the teacher treats you, and not on how well you try to understand the teacher.


I don't quite understand the second part completely. A pupils success is not dependant on how well one understands a teacher. But it is dependant on how well a teacher treats you (shown in numerous field stuides, of which all the names have escaped me).

But in conclusion, back to the original point. Homosexual thoughts are more than normal. Everyone has them, but only the honest actually talk about it. But most of the time the person doesn't identify themself as homosexual, even they they've had homosexual experiences. If we didn't label things as they are, you wouldn't think "omg!, i'm thinking about guys". It'd just feel ... natural.
saratdear
mrcool wrote:
of course not! what kind of question you had in mind? I never thought it would come out...maybe gays rather would get attracted to a guy...but not a real man...

Oh..I am sorry..are you suggesting that I am a gay who gets attracted to other guys, but not "real men"? Laughing
wumingsden
saratdear wrote:
mrcool wrote:
of course not! what kind of question you had in mind? I never thought it would come out...maybe gays rather would get attracted to a guy...but not a real man...

Oh..I am sorry..are you suggesting that I am a gay who gets attracted to other guys, but not "real men"? Laughing


I think he was more suggsting that gay guys aren't "real men". Rolling Eyes

A quick note - I refer myself as a gay guy (sometimes a bit of a tranny), but I actually only date straight men. One example of how labels, and sexuality on a whole, doesn't exist.
You are attracted to the person, no matter what is inbetween tbeir legs. The same applies to love.
saratdear
wumingsden wrote:
Yes he was...but of course, "real men" can't be gay can they "Mr.Cool".

And don't beg, that isn't cool Wink

That's just a fancy statement I like to use when I debate. Razz
wumingsden wrote:

I tend to agree with you though to a certain degree. But being able to relate isn't an innate thing, we are taught it. Which suggests that we were both treated the same, so we should both act similiar. But we couldn't be further from opposites.
The statement was more of a ... example. That isn't the case in my family.

I take it that you were telling if you both were taught in the same way on how to relate, you two would relate in the same way. If you take many other examples from real life, you would see this isn't very true.
wumingsden wrote:

Quote:
What you are saying seems to be the same as : How well you score in the class depends on the way how the teacher treats you, and not on how well you try to understand the teacher.


I don't quite understand the second part completely. A pupils success is not dependant on how well one understands a teacher. But it is dependant on how well a teacher treats you (shown in numerous field stuides, of which all the names have escaped me).

I take it that the teacher is patient, and does not get pissed off at low performing students, and treats both high performing as well as low performing students equally. Now consider your father figure example. He teaches the both of you how to relate equally, just as a teacher would. Now, it is upto you to decide how to relate to him, just as it is up to you on how to study.

BTW, wumingsden, do you mind checking out the link in my signature (I don't mean my blog).
Sphaerenkern
Short answer: No.
Long answer (I need a few points): Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooookay I just stealed this from Zero Punctuation.
I'm glad about that - not that I have anything against homosexuals, but I simply don't want to be gay.
Why someone is gay or not, mh, no idea. I'd guess it isn't related to by the upbringing but rather inborn, but I am neither a psychologist nor a biologist Very Happy
saratdear
Sphaerenkern wrote:
Short answer: No.
Long answer (I need a few points): Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooookay I just stealed this from Zero Punctuation.
I'm glad about that - not that I have anything against homosexuals, but I simply don't want to be gay.
Why someone is gay or not, mh, no idea. I'd guess it isn't related to by the upbringing but rather inborn, but I am neither a psychologist nor a biologist Very Happy

You mean not even a feeling like "Wow...I would like to be like him when I grow up"?
airh3ad
Common i dont attract the guys! i have anything against homosexuals but homosexuals are, in fact, more subject to mental illness due to their condition, and that being a gay man is, in some way, incongruous with being a man. Even having stipulated those conditions, there is still no way of which lets be aware to defend verbal or physical attacks on gays simply cause they re gay, nor any reason to treat gays differently before the law. What homosexuals do is not an appropriate subject for verbal censure, and it is certainly no business of the government to regulate and in reality this things is crazy for me man to man married? . they said homosexuality harms no one. If we stipulate the above, perhaps we can argue it harms the homosexuals. Yet even under that circumstance, I can see no reason for people to treat homosexuals differently.im proud im a real man!
flyfamilyguy
IMG; I could write a freekin' BOOK on the ridiculousness of this thread! It started out with a very basic, brave, honest and direct question by the OP, and it's now becoming all about the ones who have responded. Rather than just answering the freekin' question, all of you are compelled to defend your sexuality; how immature! saratdear, please forgive me for going off topic, but I am incensed by the self-serving ignorance of your subscribers!

On one side: Gays preach about tolerance, yet are INtolerant to any belief system but their own.
Example: If I voted YES on Proposition 8 because I do not agree with homosexuality, some fag, or dike would plant his or her lilly-white ass on my front lawn, in an attempt to make my life miserable. "Tolerance"? I think not! BTW, I'm sure that some offended, Pro-tolerance homo will report this statement to the frihost staff in an attempt to 'shut-my-mouth' for lack of a better term. Again, "Tolerance"? I think not!

On the other side: I have experienced sex with another male; it was fun! It was just SEX! He was a toy just like I was to him. To this day, I could still have sex with a man, but I choose not to because I love women; I love my wife. She is all I need.

I might not believe in homosexual behavior being legitimized by governments, because I do not believe that it is productive; it serves no purpose but to the one that enjoys it, because it's not natural. (Do I really have to explain 'Natural'?)
flyfamilyguy
Quote:
You mean not even a feeling like "Wow...I would like to be like him when I grow up"?

My friend, this has NOTHING to do with being gay! You are simply admiring this person for his quality's.
saratdear
I agree with flyfamilyguy on how this has turned into a gay, not-gay thread.

airh3ad wrote:
Common i dont attract the guys!


Agreed. You don't get attracted to other guys, like I say I do.

airh3ad wrote:
i have anything against homosexuals but homosexuals are, in fact, more subject to mental illness due to their condition, and that being a gay man is, in some way, incongruous with being a man. Even having stipulated those conditions, there is still no way of which lets be aware to defend verbal or physical attacks on gays simply cause they re gay, nor any reason to treat gays differently before the law. What homosexuals do is not an appropriate subject for verbal censure, and it is certainly no business of the government to regulate and in reality this things is crazy for me man to man married? . they said homosexuality harms no one. If we stipulate the above, perhaps we can argue it harms the homosexuals. Yet even under that circumstance, I can see no reason for people to treat homosexuals differently.im proud im a real man!

But how does just an attraction mean I am homosexual? If I admire my brother, it means that I am attracted to the qualities that he has, and not that I am sexually attracted to him.

flyfamilyguy wrote:

saratdear wrote:

You mean not even a feeling like "Wow...I would like to be like him when I grow up"?

My friend, this has NOTHING to do with being gay! You are simply admiring this person for his quality's.

Thank you. That was exactly what I wanted to say.

I'd like to put the question again : Do you, or do you not, get attracted to other guys? This has NOTHING to do with being gay. Although I did not use the word 'puberty' in my first post, I thought that would be obvious.
wumingsden
I don't wish for this to become a thread with hated against gays/lesbians involved, so can the participating members please watch their language, otherwise I'll lock it. Thank you.

back to topic -
sexual attraction, and attraction to qualities in a person, are completely different.


Eg. I like how my girl friend does her hair. I like how she makes me laugh. The fact that she's good at art....
I'm attracted to the qualities that she has.
But I'm not sexually attracted to her.

Are you uncomfortable with the idea of being gay? Or are unsure as to what you are?
This sums up most young people now days as sexuality is becoming less important to most, or less defined at least (think of it more as a spectrum rather than the three defined groups of gay/straight/bi). On the opposite however its gaining strong negative opposition from a few.
...reason I ask these two questions is because you should know if your sexually attracted to whoever. So only you will know if your gay/bi. Guys of course like qualities in other men, and no matter what they say all guys take a peak of the other men in the showers. But that doesn't make them gay.

But what does make someone gay?
- Is it if they "come out" and say their gay?
...What about if they're a virgin but still come out? Are they still gay?
- Is it if they have sex with other men? (the dictionary definition)
...What if they are unable to fall in love with men?
...(unrelated)What if they were raped?

And on a side note, before I waffle on. One uses their own experiences to give others understanding and knowledge. So don't bash me anymore, I don't appreciate it and I can easily join the Mean Team if I wanted Wink

So. To answer the questions above.
I don't think sexuality can be as easily defined. As stated previously, I think people are attracted to the person and not what is in between their legs, therefore the questions aren't answerable, as "gay" to a certain degree cannot exist. Labels exist to discriminate.
flyfamilyguy
So 'wumingsden', You will lock this thread if people continue to disagree with your views, or bash you? Typical. What happened to tolerance hmmm?
We can all freely state our beliefs in this forum as long as it does not offend someone? Ridiculous, because it always will! (keep in mind, frihost created this category)

If I, or someone else calls another a '****', or '*****' will you ban us? (these terms are used every single day, by every single homosexual in this world!) But yet, If I am not a homosexual, these words somehow become offensive. (This has nothing to do with hate, so please don't waste your key strokes by playing the hate card!)

We ALL have become a bunch of *******!


Added note by wumingsden; post edited to remove offensive/derogatory language. I've asked members to watch their language otherwise this thread will have to be closed. If you have a problem with me take it up with me in private or another member of staff. Thank you.
raine dragon
to step over the whole mess here and get back to the first post..

There are different sorts of attraction. To look up to someone and idolize them; in other words, to see some one (of either gender) and think, "oh, they are so cool, I want to be like that." is a sort of attraction. I've met a lot of teens that get confused with this sort of attraction, because they don't know what to make of it. Being attracted to someone in the sense that you admire a trait they have, or you admire them as a person is not the same as being attracted to that person.

I'm a lesbian, and over the years, I have met both men and women who I was attracted to in the sense that I wanted to be more like that person, be it their confidence, or their appearance, or whatever. It happens to all people and can happen with and to either gender. This doesn't make you straight or gay. it makes you human.

sexual attraction is different. There is a attraction based on "I like this person, they are the sort of person I want to have a romantic relationship with."

This sort of attraction can be hard to separate from the other, especially when you are young. I think part of it is simply time. As you grow older, you begin to separate the two better.

---
all that said, to go back to the discussion at hand. I simply want to say that every person has the right to their opinion. I don't care if you agree with me or disagree with me, I'm still going to respect and consider what you say.

That said, I think that people are getting a little hung up on the extremes here. Am I disappointed in the outcome of Prop 8? sure. Would I hold it against anyone? no. People voted based on their opinions. they had a right to have those opinions, and I can't sit here and force them to change them, nor am I going to harass people for their opinions, that would be rude.

What is rude, IMHO is to hate or harass either group on either side of this issue based on their opinions. I understand that it is a very heated topic, but at the same time, I think it's best for all involved if people remember that these are other people and deserve the same level of respect that you would want given to you yourself. And I say that to people on both sides of the debate. It really makes me sad how angry, and hateful people have gotten over this.
flyfamilyguy
raine dragon wrote:
all that said, to go back to the discussion at hand. I simply want to say that every person has the right to their opinion. I don't care if you agree with me or disagree with me, I'm still going to respect and consider what you say.

That said, I think that people are getting a little hung up on the extremes here. Am I disappointed in the outcome of Prop 8? sure. Would I hold it against anyone? no. People voted based on their opinions. they had a right to have those opinions, and I can't sit here and force them to change them, nor am I going to harass people for their opinions, that would be rude.

What is rude, IMHO is to hate or harass either group on either side of this issue based on their opinions. I understand that it is a very heated topic, but at the same time, I think it's best for all involved if people remember that these are other people and deserve the same level of respect that you would want given to you yourself. And I say that to people on both sides of the debate. It really makes me sad how angry, and hateful people have gotten over this.

Right ON, baby-girl!
saratdear
wumingsden wrote:


back to topic -
sexual attraction, and attraction to qualities in a person, are completely different.


Eg. I like how my girl friend does her hair. I like how she makes me laugh. The fact that she's good at art....
I'm attracted to the qualities that she has.
But I'm not sexually attracted to her.



raine dragon wrote:


There are different sorts of attraction. To look up to someone and idolize them; in other words, to see some one (of either gender) and think, "oh, they are so cool, I want to be like that." is a sort of attraction. I've met a lot of teens that get confused with this sort of attraction, because they don't know what to make of it. Being attracted to someone in the sense that you admire a trait they have, or you admire them as a person is not the same as being attracted to that person.


Both of these almost sum up exactly what I was trying to convey.

Puberty is confusing. I've felt both types of attraction, and kinda mixed both types as well, with feelings which may be "gay"; what ever gay means at this age.

I've tried to get explanation from the internet but this isn't the kind of topic that get whole websites built after them, save one or two. The link I gave in the first post was one of these, which wumingsden kindly pointed out as rubbish (no offense to you there; but I really think that website is good) but which I think is a better explanation.

This is not the sort of thing you can discuss with your friends, because it is embarrassing to start and most people might take the "oh you feel gay" stance, which is NOT what I am interested in.

I think I am beating around the bush too much. The explanation given by raine dragon, wumingsden, and flyfamilyguy was reassuring enough. Thank you guys.Smile

That does not mean that this topic is dead. I still feel this is an interesting enough topic, and a subject which doesn't get enough attention, or rather, negative attention. I would like to see what replies this topic gets.
Sphaerenkern
saratdear wrote:
Sphaerenkern wrote:
Short answer: No.
Long answer (I need a few points): Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooookay I just stealed this from Zero Punctuation.
I'm glad about that - not that I have anything against homosexuals, but I simply don't want to be gay.
Why someone is gay or not, mh, no idea. I'd guess it isn't related to by the upbringing but rather inborn, but I am neither a psychologist nor a biologist Very Happy

You mean not even a feeling like "Wow...I would like to be like him when I grow up"?

Though it has nothing to do with being gay, as it was previously mentioned, I like to answer it nonetheless: Now, I don't admire older guys in school because they are all circa my age or younger. When I was younger, I still can't remember that I was admiring an older guy from school anyway.
Of course there are people I admire, but not in this age rate you spoke about.
ssthanapati
It completely depends on how u are attracted to other guys.

If u feel sexually attracted and would like to have some fun then u may be a bi-sexual.

If its not the case. and u admire them for their achievements. and u wish to be like them. then i think that is normal.

At the end, it completely depends upon u how u see d guys. Exclamation Its as simple as that
thetinyclam
As you said, it's a phase. If you are attracted to their status, intelligence, popularity, money, etc. then that's probably just a small case of jealousy. Now if you're attracted to their tall strong build and their bulging biceps, I think we have a problem =]. But you should give it some time and ask yourself what it is that you are truly experiencing.
Hammy
You probably just idleize these guys, looking up at what you want to become in school. Nothing else.
More jelous.. then gay. lol
poppat
I have never looked at other men in anything other than envy. No sexual feelings here. Phew!!!
imera
As many has pointed out attraction to one person does not mean you're gay. I can look at different women (I am a woman myself) and admire them, nice lips, nice body, nice ass and so on, I can also kiss them, but going further is just not in my interest. I can and I have had fantasies about doing something sexual with a woman but I don't want to, I feel more attracted towards men.

Even if people have sexual fantasies it doesn’t mean they are gay, or if they kiss the same sex once or twice.
And some people thinks that only because they are also interested in the same sex they are gay, even if they like both sexes. You are still young and will find out what your feelings are later, most young people have problems deciding, only because you might think one thing doesn’t mean your life is over.

And flyfamilyguy; yes people use words like that every day, but continuing using a word that has been used to discriminate and as a raceal name is not good, you are giving out a signal that they don't mean so much only because they are different or chose to love someone different.
bdking
No, never you are interesting in women?
saratdear
bdking wrote:
No, never you are interesting in women?

Er...are you asking whether I am interested at women as well? Yes, I am.
Xaferrow
saratdear wrote:

Er...are you asking whether I am interested at women as well? Yes, I am.


so you love both man n woman???
saratdear
Xaferrow wrote:
saratdear wrote:

Er...are you asking whether I am interested at women as well? Yes, I am.


so you love both man n woman???

I wouldn't say that I "love" both men and women; it is kind of an attraction to men, while I do like the idea of a romantic relationship with a women.

No, I'm not exactly bisexual, if that is what you are getting at.
apple
flyfamilyguy wrote:
IMG; I could write a freekin' BOOK on the ridiculousness of this thread! It started out with a very basic, brave, honest and direct question by the OP, and it's now becoming all about the ones who have responded. Rather than just answering the freekin' question, all of you are compelled to defend your sexuality; how immature! saratdear, please forgive me for going off topic, but I am incensed by the self-serving ignorance of your subscribers!

On one side: Gays preach about tolerance, yet are INtolerant to any belief system but their own.
Example: If I voted YES on Proposition 8 because I do not agree with homosexuality, some fag, or dike would plant his or her lilly-white ass on my front lawn, in an attempt to make my life miserable. "Tolerance"? I think not! BTW, I'm sure that some offended, Pro-tolerance homo will report this statement to the frihost staff in an attempt to 'shut-my-mouth' for lack of a better term. Again, "Tolerance"? I think not!

On the other side: I have experienced sex with another male; it was fun! It was just SEX! He was a toy just like I was to him. To this day, I could still have sex with a man, but I choose not to because I love women; I love my wife. She is all I need.

I might not believe in homosexual behavior being legitimized by governments, because I do not believe that it is productive; it serves no purpose but to the one that enjoys it, because it's not natural. (Do I really have to explain 'Natural'?)


BRAVO!!! good on you to be so open and mature about this.
apple
I don't see what the big deal is. If you find that you are sexually attracted to guys then I see no issue.

I found that I was sexually attracted to girls also...so I had one...it was good. I have no regrets. IMO I don't judge sexuality in fact I encourage those I know to explore it.

Lots of people get confused, having a same sex encounter does not make you gay/lesbian/bi sexual. Being classed as gay/lesbian/bi sexual comes with continuous same sex practices.
mgeek
Who is the boy who hasn't idolized another male figure? In fact, boys form groups because of attraction, and that sort of attraction continues through life. Associations are formed because of attraction.
Natural-Manhood
For everyone who reads this thread ... here's the truth about male gender and sexuality, that the west has hidden from men themselves, for quite a long time:

http://youth-masculinity.blogspot.com

http://men-masculinity.newsvine.com/
shivaghimire
I feel some boys are handsome, they are attractive but I am not so attracted as I get attracted to girls.
loremar
I might say that some guys are attractive.
But to say you get attracted with some guys that is just sooooooooooooo gay. :-&
mgeek
Should "attracted" be the word? I admire other guys, or I like being with this or that particular guy ... but "attracted"?
newberie
baby u were BORN THIS WAY!
Greatking
Its sooooooooooooooooooooo gay.
Related topics
[OFFICIAL]What song are you listening to right now ?
All About WoW
Can anybody help me in making Dynamic menu bars in Flash?
Friendship between men and women
Men - help me understand
"Its not natural." And that makes it bad?
I'm lovesick!
Too much confusion
Are guys easily scared off?
Dumbledore... gay? Quote: JK Rowling, "Dumbledore's Gay
Question about girls :)
The Cat and the Doors
How does a person find out about his/her homosexuality?
GF hangs out with lots of other guys
Reply to topic    Frihost Forum Index -> Lifestyle and News -> Relationships

FRIHOST HOME | FAQ | TOS | ABOUT US | CONTACT US | SITE MAP
© 2005-2011 Frihost, forums powered by phpBB.